Club MST3k

If this site is what I think it is…

Club MST3K.

Links to tons and tons of videos of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes going all the way back to the local access television days.

Something tells me I am going to spend some quality time on this site.

Topic-Free Post

June 2021 is about to end. I’m sitting at home watching MST3K. Jen is killing bad guys in World of Warcraft. Bellana is in Vermont and Harry is at his dad’s house.

I feel like I should be doing something impactful but instead I’m sitting here typing this and I can’t even think of a topic to write about.

We have about 28 hours left in the month and I was just looking at the stats for this page and, well… We broke the account’s record for most page views in a month. Thanks, dear readers. I have also set the account’s record for the most posts in a month. In both cases, again with a full day left to go, I broke the records by a lot. So, do I have more page views because I have more posts (yes) or do I have more posts because seeing the higher than normal page view numbers made me want to post more (probably)? I guess it’s like some sort of viscous cycle. I should probably calm down a little with the posting over and over again but… well… it kinda helps me. You know, I keep saying playing guitar is kinda like therapy and I guess in some way so is this page. Also, how am I going to slow things down when 50/90 is about to start? Oh well.

The movie they are riffing on this episode of MST3K has Cesar Romero in it. the movie is in black and white and he’s playing an Air Force pilot or something. Probably an Army Air Corp pilot. I don’t know if there was an Air Force yet. Whatever, Romero is most definitely not playing a deranged clown, but every time I see him on screen all I see is The Joker.

Oh well, what can you do.

Blast Radius

I mentioned the other day that I watched two shows recently that ended with nuclear detonations. One was an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the other was the sixth season finale of Fear the Walking Dead which was so bad it may have been worse than the movie that the Satellite of Love riffed to shreds.

I’m doing what I always do after an episode of The Walking Dead or its spinoffs, I am listening to the recap on The Walking Dead ‘Cast. It’s nice to know that the folks on the show hated the episode as much as I did (possibly even more).

When discussing how everyone magically survived the nuclear explosions they mentioned a website that is really dark and awful and yet still interesting.

Nukemap.

Enter a location on the map, select a bomb from a drop down list of known nuclear weapons, then click detonate. The map will display the areas directly affected by the explosion, including a break down of things like where the blast damage will be worst, where the fireball will extend to, how far out the damage will go.

I picked Boston because I know the area so well. Holy shit. The biggest bomb the USSR produced would have blast damage extending to Worcester in the West, Providence in the South, and Nashua in the North.

Holy shit.

I kinda wish I didn’t know that, but if you check out the site you might understand why kids who grew up in the 80’s are as screwed up as we are.

I’m Tired

I am really tired tonight but we’re going to hang out in the living room for a while and watch the tube.

Is it weird that the last two programs I watched, Fear the Walking Dead and an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 whose name I didn’t catch, both ended with a nuclear warhead detonating over American soil? Is that an omen or some shit? I keep trying to figure out what the “nuclear option” is for my parents’ healthcare. Now I’m watching bombs go off in the good ol’ USA.

Coincidence?

I need to make some music. I need my band to get back together. I don’t know if it’s possible. Covid-19 done fudged everything up.

Stupid global pandemic.

Sunday Morning Thoughts

The Bruins won game one of their second round series last night. The Maple Leafs lost game six of their first round series last night. A Bruins win and a Leaf’s first round lost sounds about normal to me.

What else is going on? It’s a dad weekend for the kids but they are coming over for lunch to celebrate our Anniversary. Jen and I just came back from the bakery. There will be cake. Oh, such cake.

I need to shave, but the Bruins are in the playoffs. Oh, what to do.

I don’t know what brought it on, but a couple of weeks ago I had the urge to watch a little Mystery Science Theater 3000. I joined a Facebook fan group too. I knew that Netflix had dropped the current incarnation of the show, but I did not know that on the day I joined that BookFayce group they were kicking off a Kick Starter (hehe pun) campaign to fan fund a new season. They hit their goal on the first day. How cool is that? It made me want to watch the show even more.

Last night I went looking around to see which streaming services had episodes. Netflix used to, but now they only have the Netflix version of the show. Hulu had the movie. HBO had nuttin’, but that was expected. Amazon Prime Video had a bunch but I was signed in as me and our Prime account is Jen’s. I tried to log in as her but got prompted for two factor authentication and just gave up.

Last night, just before bed, as the Bruins game was wrapping up, someone posted a list of free streaming services that had episodes. What the hell, let’s check one out. I downloaded the Pluto TV app on my iPhone. Not only do they have episodes, but they have a continuous channel that only runs MST3K episodes. Jackpot! WOOHOO! Turns out they have a channel for RiffTrax episodes too! (RiffTrax is made up of former MST3K writers and they riff on movies in the same way. It’s basically MST3K without the cut scenes… or maybe they have cut scenes too… I can’t remember. I’ve only seen a couple of episodes) Safe to say I am going to be using the Pluto TV app pretty frequently for a while.

Nana sitting over night tonight into tomorrow. Packing up the cars and having a little Memorial Day cookout after I get home tomorrow. Driving to Vermont and helping Bellana move in on Tuesday. It’s gonna be a busy couple of days and that doesn’t even include the Bruins tomorrow night and oodles of MST3K.


Addendum: I edited the post. I originally said that Pluto TV had a Cinematic Titanic channel. It doesn’t. It’s RiffTrax. I fixed it. Also, they have a desktop app for Mac too!

Monday Night Nana Sitting

I am staying at my parents house every third night. Last night was one of those nights. I’m sort of seeing a trend. I can’t sleep well here. I know I would sleep better if I brought my CPAP machine, and I am going to have to start doing that, but that’s not the issue.

The issue is falling asleep. Another issue is staying asleep. There have been a few nights now where my watch tells me I got less than four hours. Sometimes it’s because I go to bed at a decent hour, wake up a couple hours later, and then can’t get back to sleep. Other times I just can’t fall asleep to begin with.

The last time I was here was Friday night and it definitely fell into the latter category. I was trying to sleep around midnight but I was still awake around 3:00am. Then I was up before 7:00. Saturday and Sunday nights I slept great, at home, but all day Monday I was still really tired. Last night I did okay. I fell asleep around 10:00pm, my mother was already asleep which helps, but I woke up again around midnight. I eventually fell asleep but I woke up again a few more times and finally stopped trying to sleep around 5:00am. My watch tells me I got six hours. My body tells me that’s about right.

I should be bringing the CPAP machine. The only reason I don’t is because it’s a pain in the ass to break down and set up and the idea of doing that two out of every three days just pisses me right off. It’s probably worth it. I just don’t wanna.

On a mostly unrelated note, last night I decided to explore the Netflix looking for something to watch. Somehow I hit on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Not the original show, note the Comedy Central show, not the SciFi channel show, but the recent Netflix show. I had only watched a couple of episodes. They were good. I just never got around to watching more. Something on the list of episodes grabbed me though.

Ator.

In the long history of MST3K there are a few movies that stand out as being so much worse than the norm that they become legendary. One of my personal favorites is a little classic called Cave Dwellers. Back in the old days my MST3K watching friends and I learned that Cave Dwellers was a sequel. The first movie was called Ator, the Fighting Eagle. You don’t actually need to watch the first movie to follow the second because there is a flashback in the second movie that literally shows every noteworthy “plot” point from the first.

I had never seen Ator, the Fighting Eagle and I always wondered why MST3K didn’t do an episode on it. Well now I know they actually have, and I watched it, and it was TERRIBLE. Our heroes tore that turkey to shreds in glorious fashion. I was sitting in the living room watching it on my computer with headphones on all by my lonesome and there were a bunch of moments when I literally laughed out loud.

Tip of the hat for the self referential riff where they made a joke out of the “how much keeffe is in this film? Miles O’Keeffe” line from Cave Dwellers. While the episode was wonderful, it was still nowhere near the original. Cave Dwellers is worth it for things like, “stupid rock. Stupid, stupid rock” and Joel singing “Ator, Ator my sweet friend.”

As I get older I sometimes forget how much fun terrible, awful, what-were-they-thinking, movies can be.

MST3K Marathon

I wrote something about the Turkey Day marathon but I had the wrong information. I thought it was on Comedy Central, but it’s not. It’s streaming online at mst3kturkeyday.com.

It starts at noon. Right now there it is just steaming a countdown. Three hours and 13 minutes to the marathon!