Saws-All and Other Fun Topics

My foot still hurts.  It is more or less a non-issue when I’m barefoot, but it hurts like the dickens when I have shoes on.  I think I’m a little swollen, but not a lot.  It’s actually a lot better than it was last week, but it’s still an issue.  I really don’t want to go to the doctor for this, but my resolve is weakening.

I was discussing Plantar Fasciitis (hence forth to be known as Plantar Fascist-itis in honor of our nazi putz of a president) with a friend today who has had it in both feet, one after the other.  His suggestion was to just get it over with and cut the bastard off now.  I’m not that far gone, but it’s something to keep in mind (yup yup).  It actually made me think of something from a few weeks ago.  My father in law and I were in a store looking for a tool to help install our new door lock.  Right at the front door with a whole stack of potential impulse buys was a Saws-All.  I almost got it.  Why?  I don’t know.  Now looking back I think I should have picked one up.  It would be a perfect cure for my friggin’ foot.

Yuck yuck yuck.

In the immortal words of the evil doctor in Hellraiser II, “I recommend… amputation.  No anesthetic at hand… shame.”

Yuck yuck yuck.

I don’t think I’ve seen that movie since the late 80’s or early 90’s so I can’t remember for sure if those two sentences (complete with the dramatic pauses) were from the same scene or not.  Probably not.  That was the first horror movie I ever saw, and it lead to my becoming a serious Clive Barker fan.  Not just movies, but novels (stop what you’re doing and go read Weaveworld.  Right now.  I’m serious.  Do it right now) and short stories and even a couple of plays.  It was at Brian G’s house.  I can’t remember who was there exactly, but despite all of the awesome, quotable lines it had (and there were countless) the one phrase that will never leave my memory and will always come to mind as soon as I think of that movie was someone in the room saying, as the movie ended, “rewind to when Julia comes out of the mattress!”

I just took this picture while I was putting the finishing touches on our chicken and a side of quinoa dinner tonight.  I thought I’d share because… why not.


The RPM Challenge is 11 days away.  I haven’t given it thought one.  My next gig is also 11 days away.  I have given that many thoughts, most revolving around how much practice I need.  Note: I am sitting at my desk typing this blither instead of practicing.  I had a day off work to honor a great American even though our nation is in the hands of fascist pieces of dog shit and did I practice at all?  No.  I thought about it, but I didn’t do it.  I even thought about asking the other guys if they wanted to try and sneak in a rehearsal tonight seeing as we wouldn’t have to wait for my endless evening commute.  Nope.  Nothing.  I’m still physically beat from having to deal with shoveling on top of all of the previously discussed pains.  I’m getting better.  Don’t worry.  It just sucks to be me today.  It will suck less tomorrow.

My step son, Harry had the day off from school.  This was a mom’s house weekend so he woke up here this morning.  Mondays are dad days though so I knew he’d be leaving shortly after he woke up.  I did something sneaky to try and get him to stick around and hang out with me for a little while.  I watched a Marvel movie.  He was still asleep when I started but I figured he’d wake up and watch it with me.  It was Captain America: Civil War.  Awesome freakin’ movie.  It worked, but not as well as I’d hoped.  When he finally woke up (teenagers and sleeping late, ya know?) there was only 30-40 minutes left in the movie.  He stuck around a little after it was over.  He had some breakfast and watched an episode of Phineas and Ferb because… why not?  (sing it with me, doobie doobie doobah, doobie doobie doobah, A-Gent-P!!)

Speaking of Harry, we had a seriously great moment on Saturday that I think I want to share.  My wife and my step son both have February birthdays.  My wife thought that maybe it would be fun to celebrate her birthday at Disney World.  We started making plans.  Then she decided it would be better to wait a few weeks and bring my step son with us.  We booked a room in the Yacht Club for a few days and made all the park arrangements.  We did not tell my step son.  My step daughter won’t be available due to college, and Jen has a little Canadian get away planned with her already, but we ran the plans by her just in case and she was okay with it.  On Saturday we had a mini-pre-birthday-birthday celebration for Harry.  We gave him two presents: His park ticket and his luggage tag.  He never saw it coming.  Awesome.  He says he is really excited about it, even though he’s going to be stuck down there with two old people.  He’ll adjust.  It’s going to be fun, and I can’t wait to go away and hide from reality for a week.

Here’s hoping my foot feels better by then because if not it’s Off With His Foot!

Yuck yuck yuck.

King Shovel

My foot is better than it was a couple of days ago but it still hurts like the end of the world. My elbow still hurts too.

It snowed last night. Not a lot, but enough. There I was, looking at the snow, feeling the white hot agony roaring out of my foot… and there are four buried cars.

The worst part? My comrade in arms, my partner in crime, my red shovel with the curved handle is dead. My new friend, the yellow shovel with the not-quite-as-curved handle, would make its driveway premier.

How’d we do?

I figured I’d take it in shifts. Shovel a little, limp a little, wash rinse repeat. In the end it only took two shifts, including the fire hydrant.

How’d the shovel do?

The red shovel is dead, long live the yellow shovel.

Snow Practice

So remember a couple of months ago when my band, El Pez Lagarto (the Lizardfish), played at my high school reunion?  Well the organizers of that little shindig, while putting the plans together, created a Facebook group and added every member of our class they could find to it.

Also, remember a couple of days ago when I posted a flyer that Kevin the drummer made to advertise our 2/1/20 show onto this page?  Kevin often makes flyers like that for our shows, but in this case the manager of the venue actually asked for one.

Well those two worlds just collided.  Mike just posted the flyer into the high school reunion Facebook group.  To quote the guy from Quantum Leap: Oh boy.

We’re practicing tonight.  We’re also supposed to get a mini-blizzard tonight.  I’m thinking I’ll take the less-expensive guitar with me.  What do you guys think?*


*Don’t answer.  I don’t actually care what anyone thinks.  It’s just a figure of speech.


On a totally unrelated note, did you know that Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage is on Netflix?  I didn’t know before, but I do know… because I just watched it.  It’s still my all time favorite rock music documentary.  It’s even better than the best rock mockumentary, This is Spinal Tap.  You could even say that the movie is so epic that by the time it ends it is being influenced by itself at the beginning.