Down

Why am I feeling down this week? Hey Robbie, why so blue?

I don’t know. If I knew, I’d fix it but I really don’t know.

I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything. Is this what being stuck in a rut means when people say they are stuck in a rut?

I want to play guitar and write crappy songs and record crappy home demos but I stare at my guitars in their cases and I stare at the GarageBand icon on my laptop and I just can’t bring myself to do anything.

I wanted 2026 to be the year of live music. I’ve been to one show an have tickets to two more but there is a Jenny Owen Youngs show in Portsmouth next month that I’d love to see and I can’t bring myself to do anything about it and The Pineapple Theif is playing in Somerville in November and the tickets go onsale today and I just can’t bring myself to do anything about it.

I want to start taking advantage of the Spring-ish weather and go outside and shoot pictures. I was thinking of the sunrise at the ocean visit for this weekend but the forecast calls for heavy clouds both mornings and any thoughts of anything else just vanished into thin air.

I want to read books, and I’m in the middle of one, but I just look at the cover and sigh and don’t even pick it up. I’m following a bunch of TV shows (The Boys, The Testaments, For All Mankind, Daredevil, Star Wars: Maul) but I only pay attention in the mornings when I’m exercising or at night just before bed (which I stopped doing last year because I was waking up with headaches every day and don’t think for a second I’m not scared shitless that that particular bullshit is going to start up again) and even when the episodes are excellent I find my mind wandering away.

Work is… work. I have a thousand things going on and I am having a hard time covering all of the things that I have to do.

Shit.

I don’t know. We’re one work day away from the weekend. We’re going to a live comedy show tomorrow and on Sunday we’re going to see Project Hail Mary again, this time on an IMAX screen. Maybe I’ll cheer up. I hope so. This sucks.

Front Yard

There has been construction work on our tiny little street for months. The road is a total mess. Today, the construction extended from the road…

…to our front yard. Ouch.

I mean… we didn’t really need a front lawn, did we? No…

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A lot of this was cleaned up after they replaced our gas meter and made sure everything was hooked up correctly. That’s nice and all, but I really want my street back. Preferably repaved. The potholes are lethal.

April 15th

Today is tax day in the US. It’s also my dad’s birthday. Of course he was a tax accountant. It was his destiny. I miss him a lot.

Today is also the anniversary of the opening of Fenway Park. Also fitting for Dad’s birthday.

It’s the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s death. He was shot on the 14th and died the next day. My dad was a bit of a civil war buff.

It’s also the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. I don’t think Dad ever saw that movie.

Google April 15th. For some reason there were a ton of Earth shattering events that happened on that date. It’s weird in a cosmically weird way.

Stuff

I looked at my work schedule for the next two days and… Holy shit, I don’t have a single moment without a meeting booked over the next two days. It is going to suck tomorrow and then I’m going to go back on Thursday and it is going to suck then as well. Damn it.

In other news, my step daughter just did something awesome and it is awesome. Things are crazy exciting. Crazy!

Struggle

Today has been a tough day. Nothing bad happening, just lots of stuff at work happening simultaneously that is stressing me out. The stress increase is unnecessary and pretty irrational, but it’s real none the less.

We have been asked to setup a new development environment that has an extension with our new ai software. I’ll save my ai rant for another post (and you bet your sweet skynet fearing ass that many such posts are coming) but suffice to say I have been having a ton of trouble getting the new environment up and running. Most of my team got things running without issue but a few people have been hitting major trouble. I don’t know if my troubles count as “major” but I had to uninstall everything today and start from scratch and it finally worked. Finally. I feel a huge relief.

Today is Monday and I haven’t posted anything since Thursday. That’s crazy. I never go that long without boring the internet to tears with at least one pointless post. What’s wrong with me?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me… I’m currently not in a band. I’m starting to get to the point where its not a matter of wanting to be in a band, it’s a matter of needing to be in a band. Maybe even multiple bands. A cover band, an original rock band, a bluesy jam band… all of the above?

I’m also starting to reach the point where my desire to start going outside and taking pictures of everything is getting out of control. By extension, my desire to try new 35mm film cameras is also getting out of control. I’m having to force myself not to open up ebay when I am sitting in front of a computer. A Nikon F5 (or F6, or F4, or F2) would really hit the spot right now. Also 100 new lenses would really make life better during these dark days of fascist dictatorship.

Speaking of our fascist dictatorship, I consider myself a pretty militant atheist but I grew up catholic. Can I just say that on this day in history I would really like to give the pope a high five?

What else, what else… the Red Sox are no longer the worst team in the big leagues. When I looked at the standings yesterday there were a whole two teams with lower winning percentages. Nice. On top of that, the Bruins clinched a play off spot. Bring me that post season, where they will likely get bounced in the first round.

Okay…. that’s it for this post. Back to work, you.

War Crimes

The fascist president of the fascist states of america yesterday announced that he was going to kill everyone in Iran. He didn’t because of a cease fire that capitulated to all of Iran’s wishes. Good job, fascist president of the fascist states of america. You started the war and you surrendered. Way to make america great again.

Surrendering isn’t the point of this post. The war crime is. Threatening to kill civilians is a war crime. The fact that he did not follow through on his threat does not make it any less a war crime.

He needs to be in jail. Now. Yesterday. He needs to be removed from office, obviously, whether that’s impeachment or the 25th amendment, I don’t care. It needs to happen. My point is, he needs to watch the proceedings from a jail cell. He can have some toady fascist lawyer watch with him, but he needs to be in prison now. Preferably a military prison. Even better, a prison in Nuremberg.

This needs to happen right now. Not tomorrow, not some random day in some theoretical future. Now. Right fucking now.

Spring, My Ass

I was running a little late this morning. I wanted to work in the office and I had a meeting on my schedule at 9:00am. I had to be certain I could get to my desk before that meeting started. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get in on time. As I was packing up my shit to leave the house I told my wife that I would plug my work address into the GPS and if it gave an estimated arrival time of after 8:50am I would work from home. Note: this conversation happened at 7:15am.

I got into the car, opened up the Waze app and pointed it at work. The ETA was 8:41am. Okay, I should be all right. That was when I saw the snow flake.

WTF? It’s April 7th… snow? By the time I got to the end of my street there was a light flurry. By the time I was about 10 miles down route 93 South it was full on snowing. By the time I got down to the route 4 exit off of route 128 South the snow was sticking and it was snowing heavily.

Up yours, mother nature. Up yours.

I parked my car at 8:56am and practically ran up to my desk on the fourth floor. I was in the meeting one minute late at 9:01am.

It is April 7, 2026 and it is still fucking winter in New England. Bite me.

Blackout

The Artemis II mission is currently circling the moon and is out of line of site communication with NASA on Earth. That great big empty rock in the sky is blocking the way.

They are less than half an hour away from their closest approach to the Moon. Earlier this afternoon they broke Apollo 13’s record for flying the farthest distance from Earth. At this very moment they are looking at the dark side of the moon from a point of view that no human being has ever seen.

To say that today is a great day for humanity is an understatement.

Meanwhile, the orange piece of shit clown gave a press conference where he said he was going to destroy Iran completely. He didn’t use the words “nuclear weapons” but the implication was as clear as a mentally defective nazi can get.

How can america simultaneously have its finest moment and its worse moment?

Big Weekend

This has been quite the big weekend and it has very little to do with a zombie who gave up his weekend for our sins. But I digress.

Today, April 5th, is the 19th anniversary of my first date with my wife. Clearly she wasn’t my wife at the time, but it was a pretty good first date. Very successul. We celebrated by going to a matinee. We saw Projet Hail Mary again. It was my second viewing and her third. Great movie. If it is playing on an IMAX screen anywhere near us next weekend we might go see it one more time.

After the movie, Jen made a fancy easter/first-dateiversary dinner and it was wonderful. We ate at the dining room table like civilized people instead of slumming it in the living room in front of the TV like usual. It was a very nice moment.

Yesterday we had my in-laws over for a pre-easter easter dinner. Jen made lasagna. I don’t like lasagna so she made me some pasta on the side. She’s the best.

After dinner I hopped in the car and headed to Boston to see a show. Throwing Muses. It was a fantastic show. I was feeling kinda negative at first. I was feeling like I’m too old to go to shows in bars. Two songs into the Muses set though my whole universe changed. By that time I was actively trying to think of a world where I could see Throwing Muses live every day for the rest of my life. It was magic.

There was one negative though. Halfway through their set I got a nose bleed of all things. Not just any nose bleed, but a massive, gushing nose bleed. It was everywhere. I looked like I was living through a horror movie. Gore.

To summarize, it’s been a very good weekend. I’ve been nuts about my wife for 19 years now and I just keep getting nuttier and nuttier as time goes by.

Now, a few pics from the show last night.