Author: robertjames1971

I'm wicked tall.

Play On

I just want to play my guitar. I wanted to do a ton of music in May and I barely did anything. I had 10 songs in the pipeline but only put guitar on two of them. I failed to finish anything for record every month. I am disappointed in myself.

June plans are to play as much as I can stomach, finish all 10 May songs and write and record 10 June songs. Double album, babie. It is a moral imperative.

I want to start the repairs on my two oldest guitars. I have a shop I want to bring them to. It’s an hour drive to get there, but the prices look okay and the reviews seem all right. I would prefer someone who’s been in the luthier business for longer than just the last four years or so, but I think I am okay with this.

Both guitars need their frets worked on and possibly replaced.
The 335 needs a new wiring harness.
If I have enough money left over, the Les Paul could get new pickups installed. That’s a big if though.

Mostly though, I just want to play. We were talking about getting the band together in June. I really want that to happen as well. I just want to play! If music be the food of love, play on and all that happy crappy. Shakespeare, babie!

12 < 15

Idiot.

I took a swig of lemonade at 11:42am, just as my last meeting in Foxborough was wrapping up. I left the building, went to the car, and started driving to my next meeting in Westwood. I took a little protein snack out of the package and took a bite at 11:54am.

What’s wrong with this picture?

I am supposed to wait 15 minutes after drinking something before eating something. 11:54 – 11:42 = 12 minutes. 12 is less than 15. Like our elementary school teachers taught us, 12<15.

Idiot. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t wait the full 15 minutes. Stupid. I won’t have anything more until after 1:00pm, so my stomach should be good and empty by then. Still… it’s called a clock, moron. Use it.

Language

Just reading over posts from the last few days and noticing a marked increase in swearing. Yes, lots of naughty language of late.

Are you, dear readers, okay with that shit? I mean, I don’t want to fucking offend anyone, you know?

Three Things in One Photo

Three things to note in this picture.

272/365
272/365

First, the huge van in the driveway is going to move Harry’s furniture up to Vermont a couple of days from now.

Second, the work crew was fixing a storm drain that had turned into the deepest pothole in the known universe. It’s all filled in now, and all of our car tires are thankful.

Third, can you see the house in the distance with the roofers? They tore off the roof, down to the plywood, and replaced the whole thing in one morning. One morning!

Fear the Walking Reddit (Spoilers Ahead)

Major Fear the Walking Dead Spoilers ahead. If you’re planning to watch this incredibly terrible show, stop reading. You have been warned.

Back in the days of the first two seasons of Fear the Walking Dead I was at the height of my use of Reddit. I went to the Fear subreddit after every episode and chimed in on the episode specific post. I was one of the few positive people. Most people were really down on the show but there were a few of us who were optimistic.

During season three, when the show hit it’s meteoric peak, I started drifting away from Reddit. I don’t think I visited very often, but the few times I did it was clear everyone was loving the show. Well, most everyone.

For the last few weeks I have been logging in and giving a short list of things that were especially stupid in my eyes. There were some seriously stupid things in this week’s episode. This is what I posted:

My favorite idiotic moments from this episode:

All of the focus on the radios, but that’s every episode so it doesn’t count for this one.

When the walkers ate Daddy Padre and he just stood there calmly while they were eating him. Bonus points for his very much un-eaten walker self wandering around later in the episode because the swarm of walkers didn’t eat him, they just bit him a couple of times and then fucked off.

Madison smashes the mirror and everyone sees Padre brother in the office and they all act like they know exactly who he is. Not a single character had the obvious reaction of, “who the fuck is this clown?”

Daniel’s memory is back? Because of tea? My mother died in February after years of dementia destroyed her brain. I am fucking insulted by this little story line. I really wish my mother could have saved her life with that fucking tea. Fuck you, Fear. Fuck you right in your fucking eye.

I think there are 10 episodes left, right? I don’t think I am going to make it. I am just hate watching for completeness sake now, but I barely made it to the opening credits without screaming at the screen. This is literally, objectively, unequivocally the worst show ever.

Me

In explanation, the stuff with the radios. We’re supposed to be something like 10-15 years after the fall of civilization and every single character on Earth (according to the show) carries a walkie-talkie that works perfectly and has a battery that still charges without issue and they all talk to each other on the same frequency. It’s utterly idiotic.

Further explanation, last season they talked about a secret location called Padre. Now, magically, we find out that Padre isn’t a place, it’s a person. Or it’s a place. It might be two or three people. It might be two or three people and a place. Or a place. The show can’t seem to decide. Daddy Padre is the original Padre. Padre brother might be the current Padre, or his sister is, or both he and his sister are, or neither of them is. We can’t really tell because the show keeps changing its mind.

Daniel is a season one character. He was awesome in season one. He started getting a little mentally unstable in season two. He’s dealing with something that looks a lot like early stage dementia by season four or five. In this week’s episode he makes his first season eight appearance and he’s basically back to his season one self. He sort of credits his return to mental clarity to a drink that he’s slurping as he walks down the street. It’s so fucking insulting.

My post ignores the real dumbest thing in the episode. The bad guys kidnap kids from their parents to spare them the pain of their parents dying. So to keep them from suffering the loss of their parents… they lose their parents. I shit you not, that is the bad guy’s justification. Someone wrote that, and someone else said it was okay to film it and put it on television. Again, I shit you not.

I really don’t know if I am going to be able to continue hate watching this show. I don’t think I can take it. In my Reddit post I said there were 10 episodes left. There are actually only nine. There is a mid-season break, and one of the new Walking Dead spinoffs is going to debut during that break (Dead City, the one where Maggie and Negan go to Manhattan) and that show might actually be really good (I hope). So maybe I can fight through it. If I do, there are likely to be a lot of venting and bitching posts around here. Probably on the Reddits too.

You have been warned.

NHL Stanley Cup Final Predictions

You know something? This NHL playoff season has sucked. Suck Suck Sucked. My predictions have sucked, but they always suck. This year the teams and the matchups suck. It’s like the universe has been letting teams advanced based mostly on how little I care about them.

How did my third round predictions work out? Badly. As usual.

Eastern Conference, Whalers vs Panthers: I fucking hate the Florida Panthers. I hate the Whaler-canes too, but I hate Florida even more. As if that nazi prick Desantis weren’t disgusting enough, now the Panthers advance to the Cup Final? Fuck them. I picked the Whale, of course, and I guaranteed they would lose. Pricks. That makes me six out of 13 for the post season, which drops me below 50%. Asshats. The coin flip picked the Whale too so it is now five out of 13. Suck.

Western Conference, Golden Knights vs Stars: I feel almost redeemed here. I picked Vegas. I thought they were going to sweep but they blew two games and made it look like a series before winning in six. They bring me back to 50% at seven out of 14. Thankfully. The coin flip picked Dallas and lost yet again. That’s five out of 14 for a pathetic 35.7%.

So that leaves the final, and I am guessing based on my statement in the Eastern Conference Final recap you can guess who I am going to pick.

Stanley Cup Final Round, Vegas Golden Knights vs the Fucking Florida Panthers: Can you guess who I am picking? Go on, guess. Vegas. Hockey Gods willing, they’ll win it in four, but I can’t be that lucky. The coin flip was heads, so it picks the higher seed, and that is Vegas. We’re both picking the Western Conference champs because Florida sucks. Fuck Florida. Fuck them right in their fucking ears.

If Vegas wins, I will have picked more than half of the matchups correctly. If Vegas loses I will have picked more than half of the matchups incorrectly. Given the results of the first three rounds, I can pretty much bank on Vegas losing because hockey as a living entity hates me almost as much as I hate Florida. Fucking Panther pricks.