Bed Time

I had a crummy nights sleep last night and the night before. I should have gone to bed two hours ago but what can you do? Looks like I’m in for crummy sleep again tonight.

But at least there’s a new WandaVision out tomorrow.

Sweet dreams, everyone!

Stressful Day Ahead

I knew today was going to be stressful. Lots of meetings, lots of important imminent deadline kind of things. Work was going to be busy. Then last night the hospital asked to have a call with all of us at some point today to review the next steps for my father. They will let us know when. So all of my stress-filled plans are in flux so that I can join a call that will likely cause my stress level to increase exponentially.

It’s going to be a rough one today. Next week, when things actually happen at the hospital, is going to be worse but I’ll hurl myself off that stress inducing bridge when I come to it.

Yippee.

Good News is Scary

We got some good news about my father’s condition today. I should be happy. I should be thrilled. I am, partly, but I’m also scared out of my gourd. The good news involves coming home from the hospital for a couple of days before going back to the hospital again for major surgery. We thought he would be staying in until the surgery and the post-op recovery were complete.

He’s good enough to come home early. Yes! He’s still going back next week. No!

My emotional state feels like scrambled eggs look.

Intermittent Fasting

I just started my lunch break and in doing so I just ended last night’s intermittent fasting fast. I started the process 162 days ago. I haven’t missed a day. My Zero app tells me I missed a day, but that was due to a sync mess up when I tried to track a day on my iPad instead of my iPhone.

For the most part, the process has been pretty easy for me. I stop eating at 9:00PM and don’t start again until 1:00PM. There have been a few days where I had to end the daily fast a little early for whatever reason, and there have been a ton of days where the fast went long. The longest was a touch less than 24 hours. The shortest was… about 14 hours, I think. Over the last few days though it has not been easy. I don’t know what changed, but I have found myself bordering on ravenous at about 8:50 each night this week and have had to start my night’s fast 10-15 minutes late. Then the next day, by 10:00AM I am hungry enough that I am feeling a little sick.

Why? What’s different? My stress level is through the roof, but it’s been like that for three weeks. Why did the hungries start three days ago? I don’t know. It’s a mystery.

I haven’t gotten to the point where I am going to skip a day, or even stop all together. I’m thinking about it. I have come close to ending a night’s fast early, or start it an hour or two later instead of just a few minutes. I also haven’t exercised this week, and I didn’t weigh in on Tuesday. I don’t know what to do. I would like to ride this out and get back into the groove, as it were. I just don’t know. I told myself I wouldn’t do it if it made me feel sick, and it’s starting to make me feel sick.

We’ll see.

Dental/Cardiac Relationship

Did you know that your dental health is a factor in your heart health? I sure didn’t. My father found out today when they took out some of his teeth in preparation for upcoming heart surgery. Who knew?

Subject change: Rush Limbaugh died. When I was a kid I was taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say you shouldn’t say anything at all. So there you go.

Subject change: We got the expected date of my step son’s high school graduation ceremony. Mid June. Please, Massachusetts and New Hampshire, get all of us our respective Covid-19 vaccinations by then. Please, Covid-19, don’t ruin this for him on top of everything else.

Subject change: I had a really crummy nights sleep last night. I went to bed about 10:30, woke up a little before midnight, and didn’t get back to sleep until after 2:00. Today is shaping up to be a rough one. I need a nap. A long nap.

Subject change: I’ve got nothing else to say right now. I read this morning that we’re supposed to get another snow storm later tomorrow. I want Spring. Now. I want my whole extended family, including everyone in my step kids’ other house, to get their vaccine shots. Now. I’m tired of all of this crap. I want my father’s medical ordeal to end. Now. I want everything to go back to pre-March 2020 normal. Now.

Chick Corea

We’ve lost another giant. Chick Corea passed away a couple of days ago. Cancer. Again.

That’s Chelsea, MA native Chick Corea to be clear.

I’ve always been ashamed of myself for never being enough of a jazz guy. I played sax and went to music school for crying out loud, I should have been more of a jazz guy. I guess rock and roll and blues were just too much fun for me to pull my attention away for too long.

I did have a thing for Fusion though. It’s hard to be a Prog Rock fan and not at least dip your toes into the Fusion world. As a guitar player, my connection to Chick Corea came via Al Di Meola. Al was a teenager when he joined Chick’s Fusion band, Return to Forever, and the handful of records they made together were spectacular. Chick played on some early Di Meola solo records too.

Ironically (maybe?) the first thing I think of when I think of Chick Corea is the title track from Return To Forever’s Romantic Warrior. Ironically because Fusion is meant to be an electric genre, but that song is acoustic and it is brilliant beyond measure.

I am honoring this legend’s memory right now by giving the Romantic Warrior album a spin. I suggest you do the same. If you like your music played at a level of virtuosity that makes mortal humans’ heads explode then this is the record for you. Chick’s playing on that record is the kind of thing where you can imagine The God of Keyboard Players listening to it and thinking, damn that guy is awesome.

Rest in Peace, Chick Corea. The music world has lost another hero, but we still have all of the music to listen back to when we want to remember just how good we had it when you were around.

A Little Lost

My head doesn’t feel like it’s on straight today. Why is today any different than yesterday?

Dad was moved to a new hospital on Tuesday and spent the day yesterday getting all sorts of tests. We have an idea of what’s coming but we don’t know when and we don’t have any details. It feels like we’re back into a holding pattern and it’s messing with me.

Something I ate last night (too many peanuts, methinks) isn’t playing nicely today and it’s irritating the hell out of me. Stupid digestive system. I also got a pretty shitty night’s sleep last night. That’s not helping the situation.

I have meetings booked for the entire morning and part of the afternoon. What if a call or a text comes in while I’m busy and I can’t get to it? What if I miss something?

I feel useless and pointless and lost right now. Well… I probably always feel a little useless and pointless and lost, but now those feelings are kind of taking over and I don’t like it.

Procedure – Part 2

My father’s cardiac procedure is done and he’s back in his room. Everything went well in that they have enough information to move on to the next steps. The next steps, however, sound seriously terrifying. That’s okay though, we knew that was coming. The only question left is when does it happen and who handles it. I am trying not to freak out over the possibilities.

Procedure

At some point this morning my father is going to have a cardiac procedure. It’s not a big one. Under normal circumstances it’s probably a tiny, routine thing. With his current situation though… well… it’s cardiac, enough said.

Should anyone reading this care to send any happy thoughts or good vibes or positive energy his way, I’d be grateful.

I am totally optimistic that all will go well and it will clearly tell us what the next steps are. That doesn’t mean I’m not scared though.

Break a leg, Papa.

That Was Unexpected

I got onto the weight loss wagon back in September. I started the intermittent fasting silliness and I started making sure I closed the 30 minute exercise ring in my AppleWatch Activities app. I never stopped with the fasting thing, that’s still going on every day. The weight tracking thing fell away just before Christmas, as it does. My last weigh in was December 15th. The exercise thing temporarily ended on the day my father went to the hospital.

Yesterday was the day I officially went back on the wagon. I closed all three rings for the first time in over a week. My weigh in day was on Tuesday before, so I weighed in today…..

….and I was down six pounds.

So I stopped being careful with food and I stopped exercising and… I lost weight. Six pounds in almost two months isn’t all that much, but it’s still good.

I did not see that coming.