Category: weight loss surgery

I Don’t Recognize Myself Part Two

Sometimes my brain gets all fluttery. I had something I wanted to write about in the last post. I wrote the title appropriately and then never touched on the topic at all. Doofus.

So weight loss surgery. I’ve lost 160 pounds in the last six months. A normal side effect of the surgery is hair loss, and my hair has definitely thinned out a ton over the last few months. It’s also starting to get curly again, for the first time since I was about four years old. It’s very weird. Yesterday my hair was past the point of just being too long and was starting to get downright clownish. I could stand it no more and after dinner last night I went and got a haircut.

It was a very strange experience. Having lost over 150 pounds, when I see myself in the mirror it’s a little disjointing. I don’t really look like what I think of as “me” anymore. I look like an alternate universe version of me. A variant, for my fellow Loki show fans. It’s odd, but last night as I was watching my hair getting lopped off in the mirror it went up to a new level. For 51 years I have had ridiculously thick hair. There is just so much of it. Even when it’s cut it still looks like a mop on top of my head. Last night it looked really thin. It looked… wrong. I didn’t really recognize myself.

Whatever it was in the moment, it isn’t that way now. I still look different than what I usually expect of myself, but that odd unfamiliar sensation I had at Supercuts last night is gone. I look like me again, or at least variant me.

It’s a strange new world we’re living in, isn’t it?

I Don’t Recognize Myself

Most of yesterday sucked. So far today has been better. I had one mile on my faux jog that had a much slower time than the other four. I only needed about 46.5 minutes to get to 1000 calories. That’s not as good as Tuesday’s 45, but it’s tons better than yesterday’s 60. I think if I stay in one place the numbers line up. If I move around a little, like say from my one jogging spot to my desk and back, then the numbers get screwy.

I also rebelled against the scale. After only losing 0.4 pounds over five days I broke my rule and stepped on the scale again. I was down a pound from yesterday. Sounds like a karmic adjustment of some kind. It made me feel a smidge better. I didn’t log it. It wasn’t an official weigh in, but it did lessen my self-pissyness. A little at least.

After this morning’s little trot, my legs feel a little like rubber. Walking in place used to make me feel that way. It doesn’t anymore. That’s a good thing, right? Right. How long before faux running in place isn’t enough to get the heart rate up? What’s going to be next?

One other item to note on the post-surgery subject. I’ve been experimenting with something for the last day or two. I have been testing myself by eating meals without the stopwatch running. I doubt I’ve been waiting 30 seconds between bites but so far I haven’t had any issues. That 30 second rule was something I put in place, not something that I was told to do. At first they suggested 15-20 seconds and I just bumped it up to 30 out of fear. If I find myself getting nauseous during meals I’ll use the clock again, but so far I have been okay. We’ll see how it goes.

Right then. Time to punch in to work. Happy Thursday, folks.

Week 27 – Worst Weigh In Ever

Everything has sucked this morning. Almost everything. The election in Massachusetts went well, as if there had been any doubt. Today’s new episode of Star Wars Andor was absolutely fucking amazing. Kenneth Branagh in Henry V. That nazi piece of filth Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Now add Andy effin’ Serkis to the list of amazing inspirational speeches before a battle, fictional or historical fictional or otherwise. Holy shit that episode was giving me chills, and I am secure enough in my masculinity to say that I may have teared up a little. Damn!

Star Wars not withstanding, everything else has sucked today. I have said the last few weeks that I was waiting for a weigh in that leveled off. It came today. I am down, but only 0.4 pounds. It’s only been five days since the last weigh in so I should really get over myself and take it as the plus that I know it is, but for some reason it just pissed me off. I have been feeling like I was slipping into a really shitty bad mood for the last day or so and seeing the scale pushed me over the bad mood edge. It’s completely irrational but it’s true.

Exercise made it worse. For the last few days I’ve been running in place and going five miles in about 42 minutes. Today the same exercise needed 60 minutes to hit five miles. Why? My first mile pace was normal. The second was a little slower than normal. I don’t know why. The third was normal. The fourth was double normal. The fifth was also double normal. What the fuck?

So now here I am in a full blown shitty headspace. Maybe I’ll just watch Andor again and see if it helps.

Addendum: I should also add that another reason I was falling into a pissy mood was this blog had the worst day stats-wise that it has had in over four years. I had less than a fifth of my normal hits. That shouldn’t effect my mood at all because this page is completely and totally pointless, but it did so there you go.

Six Month Weigh In

Six months ago today I had my stomach and my intestines chopped up and rewired. Since then I have lost a little bit of weight. I did my weekly weigh in two days ago and I expected today’s monthly weigh in to be seriously underwhelming. Possibly so underwhelming that I wouldn’t report it to the universe in this way.

I was wrong. In two days I have lost 1.8 pounds. Back in the weight watchers (WW) days I would have been thrilled to lose 1.8 pounds in a week. That much in two days though? To quote the brilliant Pam Poovey, “holy shit snacks!”

The BMI is down to 33.1 from 33.3. The loss since the surgery is at 159.8. Sooooo close to 160. The loss since the first check in is now at 180.4 pounds. When people ask I can honestly say that I have lost ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY!

The next weigh in is Wednesday, five days from now. Until then, happy exercising and only eating 80 grams of protein a day.

We Didn’t Win

The bad news is we didn’t win 1.2 billion dollars in the Powerball lottery last night. The good news is no one else did either. I guess we just have to wait until Saturday for all of our financial fantasies to start coming true. That’s fine with me.

I weighed in yesterday morning, as usual for Wednesdays. I said I was going to weigh in on Friday (tomorrow) as well, as usually for the 4th of each month. Why then did I weigh in today as well?

Jen has this really cool Bluetooth enabled scale. She steps on the scale and it sends the result to an app on her iPhone, which then calculates a bunch of values including BMI, and then updates the Apple Health app. When all of this surgical fun started I had to buy a second scale because the groovy Bluetooth scale didn’t read anything above 350 pounds and I was over 450. I bought a scale that went up to 500 and I’ve used it ever since. Yesterday after I stepped on my scale, Jen asked me why I am not using the groovy Bluetooth scale. I didn’t have an answer.

Last night before bed I setup the app on my iPhone and used Jen’s scale for the first time. It told me I was up 0.8 pounds. Nope. No thank you. This morning when I woke up I stepped on the scale right away, which is how I do things on Wednesdays. It had me down 0.4 from my official weigh in yesterday. That’s better. From this point on, I am using the groovy Bluetooth scale. Tomorrow I will step on the scale again to celebrate the monthiversary and I will use that number to update my spreadsheet. Today’s number will not go on the spreadsheet. Today’s number is unofficial. This is the way. I have spoken.

While doing my morning trotting in place today I finished the forth and final Pierce Brosnan Bond movie, Die Another Day. It’s not awful, but it did feel a little too… Austin Powers-ish for comfort. The good news is, the next movie in line is Casino Royale, and that’s the single best non-Sean Connery Bond movie that exists. I’ll start that one at some point tonight and hopefully finish it in the morning. The Daniel Craig era is imminent.

My father is in the hospital. He went to the ER yesterday and was admitted last night. I don’t have any news. I’m seriously worried about him even though the rational part of me knows he’s going to be fine. My brother and sister were with him yesterday and will be with him today. If he’s still in the hospital tomorrow I’ll take over. I just let my boss know that I might need to be out. I should be all set. Now I just need some news, and I need to stop worrying.

For now though, back to work with you!

Week 26 Weigh In

For the second week in a row I was worried that my great big increase in my protein goal which resulted in a great big increase in food intake would lead to an underwhelming loss this week, or maybe even a gain. I was seriously nervy when I stepped on the scale this morning.

Nope, I lost almost as much this week as last week. I am down 4.6 pounds, which brings me to 273.4. Epic.

No weight loss milestones this week, but I’m nearly in position to hit a few next week, assuming this pace continues. Total weight loss since surgery is now 158 pounds exactly. Total weight loss since the first check in at the clinic is now 178.6. My BMI has dropped from 33.8 last week to 33.3 today.

I guess my change in exercise helped out this week. I have gone from ~45 minutes of walking, or a walk/jog hybrid, to jogging in place for ~40 minutes. For the second day in a row my exercise and calorie goals (as set on my Apple Watch, not by a doctor) were both closed before I started my work day. That’s ridiculous.

This is just me speculating right now, it’s not anything like a goal or anything. We are scheduled to leave for Disney World on January 4th. I am 21.4 pounds away from hitting the 200 mark since the first weigh in. Am I going to be able to hit 200 pounds by Disney? I’m exactly 42 pounds away from 200 since the surgery. I don’t see that happening, but the trip starts 10 weeks from today. If I average four pounds a week… it maybe could happen. Holy shit!

The next weigh in will be the six month weigh in on Friday 11/4. I don’t expect to be down four pounds again, but if I am down anything at all, 0.01 pounds even, then I will consider it a successful two days. Maybe I’ll do an extra 40 minute run tonight, just for fun. Or more accurately, just for “fun”.

Down the Tubes Day

I overslept a bit and threw off my schedule for my day off today. Then, as I was trying to get back on track, my scrambled eggs breakfast disagreed with my stomach and threw me off more.

I am punting on the haircut, and probably the guitar playing too. Early voting, grocery shopping, and pumpkin carving are still on the table. Some Bond movie silliness too. I don’t know if Moonraker is the worst Bond movie, but it’s sure the dumbest so far.

Okay, time to see if I can get through those scrambled eggs in one piece. Wish me and my rebuilt digestive system luck.

Week 25 Weigh In

Was this morning’s weigh in good?

Oh yeah, this morning’s weigh in was good.

I’ve been doing this for almost six months and I am still losing weight like crazy. Today gave me another five pounds. Five. Pounds.

Milestones galore, babie. The 10’s columns all changed. Like… all of them. I went from 283 pounds to 278 pounds. I weigh less than 280 pounds for the first time since… infancy? Something like that. Seems that way, at least. The amount lost since the surgery has topped 150 pounds, coming in at 153.4. The total lost since January has topped a colossal 170 pounds, reaching exactly 174 pounds.

One hundred seventy-four pounds. My brain might literally explode. That would increase the total weight loss by about three pounds, but I don’t think I want to lose those particular pounds.

My BMI has dropped from 34.4 to 33.8. That means I am 3.8 away from not being obese anymore. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I thought that having a week or so where I am trying to increase my daily protein intake by 20 grams a day might have some effect on my weight loss for the week, but nope. Things went well this week. I am pretty stoked. I have to admit that I did step on the scale once over the weekend. I really wanted to see if I went below 280. I was at 280.4 or something like that. I didn’t mark it down, but I did break my only-weigh-myself-once-a-week pledge. I figured it was okay. I just don’t want to make a habit out of it, you know?

Happy week 25. Next Wednesday marks week 26, and two days later will mark Six months. Should I weigh in on both days? Should I only mark the month? Should I not mark the month and only mark the week? We’ll see.

Busy Morning

Lots of meetings this morning. Busy busy. Lots of projects. Busy busy.

I have a day off on Thursday. A use it or lose it vacation time kinda thing. I just need to get there. It’s gonna be tough. I have a lot of things on my to do list for that day. A haircut*, early voting**, guitar playing***, maybe some photo walk stuff around town****. Stuff like that. There is also Bond movies. They are leaving Amazon Prime Video in 10 days and I am still only half way through Diamonds are Forever. I am half a movie away from Roger Moore.

Okay, breakfast is almost done, I’ve plowed through last night’s email. Let’s get crackin’ for really reals now. Have a good Tuesday, everyone.

*A side effect of weight loss surgery is hair loss. They told me it starts between three and six months (I’m nearly at six months) and it lasts for 3-4 months (it started about two months ago). Fortunately it will grow back… in theory. I am 51 years old. Maybe it’s just my time. I mean my hair hasn’t gone grey yet, which is miraculous in itself. Maybe my run of good hair luck is coming to an end. For now though, I have been too afraid of losing it to get it cut and it’s long enough to actually look long in the back and it hangs in my eyes. It’s time. It’s time to get it cut.

One other note, when I was a little little pre-school kid my hair was super curly. Somehow as it started to fall out it has also started to get a little curly again. How weird is that?

**I am pretty sure Methuen’s early voting is open on Thursday, I just don’t know where or what time. I think it’s at city hall this time, but I need to figure that out.

***Jen is scheduled to go into the office that day so I should be able to make noise without bothering her.

****I said no film until November but… maybe?

Another Bad Dinner

I got about a third of the way through my tiny main course tonight and my stomach started feeling like some bad times were coming. I stopped eating in the hopes that I could avoid it. After about 30 minutes I tried another bite and it was the same. Okay, dinner is over.

I am drastically under both my protein and liquid goals. I was thinking I would have a protein shake to help catch up on both fronts so I waited an hour after my last bite. Unfortunately my blender was in the dishwasher, dirty. I could mix the shake another way, but it’s just not that good unless I blend the holy hell our of it. Now I am having a protein bar that I haven’t tried before. Experimenting, you know? Does it taste good? Nope.

Just winning left and right tonight, aren’t I. Ugh.

On the upside, the Bruins won, the Riverhawks won, the Yankees lost, and the Padres are winning. Good night for sports around here.

How about windows? Not the computer kind, but the kind you look through. We’re getting a bunch of new ones. We have a few windows in the house that open via cranks and they are all falling apart. The cranks, not the windows themselves. Jen made an appointment with the folks at Anderson and their rep came today and inspected our situation and ended up selling us a bunch of new windows, including a replacement for our big bay window in the living room. It’s going to be six months or so before they come and install everything, but i can’t wait to see the results.

The Bond rewatch continues. I’m halfway through Goldfinger. I know the last time I said From Russia with Love was my favorite, and I stand by that statement, but you can’t deny that Goldfinger is the best. It’s just the perfect Bond movie. I desperately want that Aston Martin DB5. Best car ever.

Okay, I finished the protein bar. In 30 minutes or so I will have a high protein snack, and that should take care of the 80 gram goal. Then I will have to drink as much water as I can handle before bed. I think it’s going to be a tough night.

Tomorrow I try to replace the dryer’s exhaust vent. Wish me luck.