Well, we all saw this coming.
Three bites into our pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner and my stomach rebelled. Pain, nausea, gas, the works.
It’s worth it but I was really hoping I’d be able to have thanksgiving with my family without having to focus all of my attention on not being sick in front of everyone.
Fuck.
Harry is home and it’s glorious!
Not sure what we have on the agenda today. Jen and Harry are going to go shopping for desserts for tomorrow’s mini-thanksgiving. I am going to make short visits to both parents. Also, in film camera news, there are train tracks running behind the rehab facility that Dad is currently visiting and I have black and white film in the camera… cliche, anyone?
I did 30 minutes of faux running today already. My sort of plan these days is 45 minutes on weekdays and 30 on weekends to give my feet a little bit of a break. I haven’t closed my calorie/move ring, but it’s 2/3 closed. I’ll close it today, no sweat.
What else? I want to play some guitar today, but I want to hang around doin’ nuttin’ with Harry and Jen more so… National Solo Album Month may be dying on the vine this year. I might try to get up stupidly early this week and spend an hour or so recording using DI and amp sims rather than my Deluxe Reverb. That feels like cheating after all these years of only using a real amp, but what can you do.
I mentioned yesterday that I had a really bad time with lunch. The same thing happened with dinner. I dished out a little less than four ounces of food, took 2-3 bites, and hit the pain/nausea failure point. I ended up pausing dinner for an hour or so and then I was okay. I was nervous about breakfast today after two bad experiences in a row, but I am almost finished an I feel okay. Here’s hoping lunch and dinner go okay too.
All right, kids. Time to go get my shit together and go visit a couple of parents. We’ll talk later, m’kay? M’kay.
I don’t know what I did, but I sure did something wrong.
I put about four ounces of chicken onto a little plate and brought it to my desk for lunch. 0.9 ounces into it and I was done. Pain, babie. Real pain. Not nausea this time, just stomach pain. It’s almost like one of the bites I took failed to make it into my little redesigned stomach pouch and then the next bites backed up behind it. Usually when that happens I feel like I need to throw up, and once or twice I actually have a little. Not this time, just stomach pain.
It’s been about 90 minutes since this happened and I am feeling mostly okay again. I need to have some lunch though so I am trying a protein bar. One bite down and, while I am definitely not all better, it hasn’t gotten worse.
Fingers crossed, my friends. Fingers crossed.
Right then, after last week’s disappointment, things are better this week. Happy Wednesday weigh in day, everyone. Last week’s five day check in was only 0.4 pounds and while it was positive movement, it was also significantly smaller than every other Wednesday weigh in and it upset me even though it shouldn’t have. Today, one week later, we’re down 3.4 pounds and hot damn does that feel good.
The totals won’t hit any milestones for a few weeks, probably, assuming I stay at a happy weight loss pace. The total lost since surgery actually hit a milestone last week, despite the tiny result. I’m up to 163.6. The total weight loss since the first check in is at an astronomical 184.2. I’m only 15.8 pounds away from the unthinkable 200 pounds. Can I still get there by our January 4th Disney World trip? That is seven weeks away. Can I average 2.26 pounds per week for seven weeks? That would be amazing, but after last week I am not holding my breath and I have no expectations anymore. Just move in the right direction. As for BMI, I am still obese, by definition at least, at 32.6. Just inching closer to that magic moment when I drop below 30 and my status changes from obese to overweight. That will be a pretty groovy day, don’t you think?
Okay folks, it’s time to go make myself some breakfast. Scrambled eggs anyone?
Today I went to two stores to buy new clothes. That in itself is kind of amazing. For years I’ve only been able to buy clothes from Casual Male XL, or whatever the hell they are called now. I call them Tall and Fat in honor of Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Back to School. That was the name of the store his character owned. Anyway, I bought clothes at a Kohl’s today and I can’t remember the last time I was able to find clothes that fit me at a normal department store. It’s kind of amazing.
I bought two pairs of jeans and a pair of khakis. The waist size is four inches smaller than the jeans I bought last month. They are also 12 inches smaller than pre-surgery. I never, ever would have dreamed that could happen. I’m very happy and very shocked. You’d think after shrinking for six months I’d no longer be surprised to see evidence that I am shrinking, but I am.
The waist size was one thing, but the shirts? I bought two collared shirts and three t-shirts. They are two sizes smaller than when I started. I was wearing 4XLT and today I bought 2XLT. What the freakin’ hell? Again, I never even dreamed I would buy a 2X again. Never in a million years.
Now I have to pack up all of the too-big-for-me clothing that I have in my bureau and donate them somewhere. Probably Goodwill again. I have a bunch of old 3X shirts that are still useable. I have a bunch of 4X shirts that are no longer useable. There are a couple of pairs of jeans that are too big but not terribly too big. I kept one pair of jeans from before the surgery because someday it’s going to be really friggin’ funny to put them on to see how much I’ve lost. That day has not arrived yet, but someday.
My exercise is done for the morning. I only faux ran for 30 minutes. Just giving my old and tired legs a break. I have so much to do today. It’s raining again so raking leaves is pretty much out of the equation until tomorrow. My primary goal for the morning is to reboot my wardrobe. I’m thinking two pairs of jeans, two collared shirts, two t-shirts, and a pair of khakis. That should get me through the wake and the funeral this weekend, and four work days in the office between now and the end of the year.
I need to take a shower before I do any of this but I made the mistake last night of trying to rewatch the last four episode arc of Andor (one way out!) and I still have about 15 minutes left to go so I really can’t stop watching at the best part, right?
I want to make short visits to both parents today too. That’s the second most important thing. After that, it’s spend time with the love of my life, who is attending a virtual conference today. Dinner and a movie tonight, maybe? That will help me avoid feeling sad about the rest of the universe. For a while at least.
And that’s the state of the world right now.
There are only a few minutes left in my lunch break and I feel like I should add to the internet noise, you know?
3.5 hours left until the weekend. That seems like such a long time. On Saturday there will be rain in the morning, assuming the forecast I read today is correct. I need to rake some leaves, but that will need to wait until later in the afternoon. I need to go and buy clothes. My jeans are too big and need to be replaced. Almost all of my shirts, both work appropriate and otherwise, are also too big and need to be replaced. I am going to try going to a normal person store instead of a tall and fat person store. I expect I’ll have to go to both, but I really forget how to shop at normal people stores.
Dad has been moved from the hospital to a rehab. He moved last night and my sister was with him this morning. It sounds like he’s not in a very happy place. He’s not having a good rehab experience. I need to visit him tomorrow, if only for a few minutes. I also need to visit my mother, again if only for a few minutes. My aunt’s wake is Sunday afternoon. I hope to sneak a little more raking in before that, but we’ll have to see how far I can get. I expect that when the weekend is over we’re still going to have a front yard full of dead leaves. My aunt’s funeral is Monday morning. I took the day off from work so that I can go. There is a reception afterwards, but I don’t think my covid fear is going to let me attend. I’ll go to the church and I’ll go to the cemetery, but I think that’s all I can muster. I hope that’s enough.
The band has been talking again. Our singer has been the hang up, as he travels to Maine every weekend. We need to figure out how to get all of us into the same room at the same time. It will likely be a week night. We’ll see. I need to play at an obnoxious, obscene volume and I need to do it soon.
I am starting to get psyched up for Thanksgiving. The dinner itself isn’t a big deal anymore, as I can’t eat most of it and what I can eat won’t amount to a lot. No, the weekend after turkey day will see the kids coming home. That’s going to be awesome. Sure, we’ll start decorating for Christmas and I will bitch at how it’s too early, but that’s okay too. I don’t mind losing that fight. Not that it’s even a fight, you know? The weird thing is that I have this strange urge to start putting together a Christmas list. Insert demented laughter here.
Okay, lunch break is over. Back to work, red head.
I threw off my morning routine before I even went to sleep last night. I forgot to start the dishwasher. The little blender I use to mix my protein shakes was in the dishwasher. That means I couldn’t have half a shake like I’ve done every morning for the last two weeks.
To further the fails, I started doing my 45 minute trotting in place thing. After 30 minutes I stopped. I did the 5k, I did the whole exercise ring. I did not finish the calorie ring and I did not hit the five miles. I had actually told Jen this morning that I was going to close the exercise ring by walking over the weekend because my legs are hurting and I thought they could use a break. I decided on the fly today to start that break a smidge early.
Changing the subject, I’m saving this for later. It’s my Aunt’s obituary. I’ve already saved off the service information somewhere else, but I want to keep it all here too just in case.
Change of subject again, it is Friday. I could really use an easy day today. Fingers crossed. Happy Friday, everyone. It is also Veteran’s Day. I tip my hat in thanks to all who served and serve. It’s also a date that can function as a math problem. 11/11/22. 11+11=22. Get it?
Sometimes my brain gets all fluttery. I had something I wanted to write about in the last post. I wrote the title appropriately and then never touched on the topic at all. Doofus.
So weight loss surgery. I’ve lost 160 pounds in the last six months. A normal side effect of the surgery is hair loss, and my hair has definitely thinned out a ton over the last few months. It’s also starting to get curly again, for the first time since I was about four years old. It’s very weird. Yesterday my hair was past the point of just being too long and was starting to get downright clownish. I could stand it no more and after dinner last night I went and got a haircut.
It was a very strange experience. Having lost over 150 pounds, when I see myself in the mirror it’s a little disjointing. I don’t really look like what I think of as “me” anymore. I look like an alternate universe version of me. A variant, for my fellow Loki show fans. It’s odd, but last night as I was watching my hair getting lopped off in the mirror it went up to a new level. For 51 years I have had ridiculously thick hair. There is just so much of it. Even when it’s cut it still looks like a mop on top of my head. Last night it looked really thin. It looked… wrong. I didn’t really recognize myself.
Whatever it was in the moment, it isn’t that way now. I still look different than what I usually expect of myself, but that odd unfamiliar sensation I had at Supercuts last night is gone. I look like me again, or at least variant me.
It’s a strange new world we’re living in, isn’t it?
Most of yesterday sucked. So far today has been better. I had one mile on my faux jog that had a much slower time than the other four. I only needed about 46.5 minutes to get to 1000 calories. That’s not as good as Tuesday’s 45, but it’s tons better than yesterday’s 60. I think if I stay in one place the numbers line up. If I move around a little, like say from my one jogging spot to my desk and back, then the numbers get screwy.
I also rebelled against the scale. After only losing 0.4 pounds over five days I broke my rule and stepped on the scale again. I was down a pound from yesterday. Sounds like a karmic adjustment of some kind. It made me feel a smidge better. I didn’t log it. It wasn’t an official weigh in, but it did lessen my self-pissyness. A little at least.
After this morning’s little trot, my legs feel a little like rubber. Walking in place used to make me feel that way. It doesn’t anymore. That’s a good thing, right? Right. How long before faux running in place isn’t enough to get the heart rate up? What’s going to be next?
One other item to note on the post-surgery subject. I’ve been experimenting with something for the last day or two. I have been testing myself by eating meals without the stopwatch running. I doubt I’ve been waiting 30 seconds between bites but so far I haven’t had any issues. That 30 second rule was something I put in place, not something that I was told to do. At first they suggested 15-20 seconds and I just bumped it up to 30 out of fear. If I find myself getting nauseous during meals I’ll use the clock again, but so far I have been okay. We’ll see how it goes.
Right then. Time to punch in to work. Happy Thursday, folks.
Inside the Red Head's Head 