Jen told me she found a cat vomit stash in Bellana’s room* and she asked me to clean it up. I took a look and found a cat vomit stash and didn’t think much of it. It took me a few days to get to it. It was nothing a little swiffer mop couldn’t handle in two seconds. I cleaned it up. Boom. Then I saw the actual vomit stash Jen was talking about. It was big. It was chunky. It was spread out over a surprising surface area. It was solid as a rock and stuck so thoroughly to the floor that it was essentially a part of the floor. The two had become one and would not be separated.
The swiffer mop didn’t touch it. Hell, the vomit laughed at the swiffer mop. The scouring pad on a sponge barely made a scratch. The vomit scoffed at the scouring pad. A quart of 409… well, that was a good start. That plus the scouring pad took up a lot of it. When I couldn’t get any more, I had to go at it with a second quart of 409, another round with the pad, and then another round with the swiffer.
Yeah, the vomit is gone, but I may have weakened the structural integrity of the entire house. Next time that cat pukes in Bellana’s room it might be the end of us all.
*I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but Patches the Cat likes to puke. She has some food issues that often upset her stomach and she ralphs it up. We didn’t know what was going on so we asked a Vet and after an examination, the Vet told us that she just eats as much as she can as fast as she can and then gets sick. It’s really gross. It’s even more gross because I am the one who cleans it up.
Bellana’s room is probably her favorite puke palace. She’s not terribly picky. She likes the living room too, and just the other day she let off a bomb in the office. Bellana’s room though… yeah, that’s the stuff. It’s probably because Bellana went to college first and her room is empty the most often so it’s nice and private. Patches sleeps in there a lot too, though when Harry’s not around she likes to sleep (and hurl) in his room too. Bellana’s is definitely the favorite though, and with her coming back on Wednesday we want it to be as vomit free as it can be.
Oh, and did I mention that Bellana’s sheets are in the washing machine because Miss Patches dropped a stomach bile bomb on the bed as well as next to the bed and under the bed?
Yeah, Patches sure loves to yack in Bellana’s room.
I’m really tired of the fascism and science denial and inability to know truth from lies on facebook. I think it’s time to bail. I am thinking about blocking everyone except Jen and the kids and the guys in the band. I’m sick of learning how stupid people in my life can be. How completely lacking in feelings or humanity so many people are when you remove the sham of direct personal interactions.
Right now I look at facebook and I just want to tell everyone there to go fuck themselves. I’m just so sick of it all. Obviously it’s not everyone, but I feel like I no longer want to worry about collateral damage, if you know what I mean.
Twitter and Instagram are the other social network services I use and they are both awful too, but so much of facebook is just bile and I think after 13 years it is time to flush away the puke.
We are obsessed with candles. Why? No clue. Let’s blame COVID-19.
I just lit a new candle called Tahitian Nights. Strangely it doesn’t really smell like anything. I would have expected that nightlife in Tahiti would smell like salt water, sweat, and maybe vomit. Nope.
Patches, our cat, would have felt right at home in ancient Rome. Specifically, she would have been a natural in the vomitoriums.
Yeah, that specially-designed-for-sensitive-stomachs cat food we’ve been giving her has really worked well. She only barfed twice yesterday, and the pile of puke the second time weighed nearly as much as she does.
I took my laptop and a microphone to the kids’ karate tonight so that I could do some singing/writing in the car while waiting for the class to let out. I drove over to the far side of the parking lot, set everything up, picked the song I wanted to work on, and started hiccuping. Sing a line, hiccup. Sing half a line, hiccup. Sing a syllable, hiccup. I couldn’t stand it anymore.
Bill Nye the Science Guy taught me that the way to get rid of hiccups is to take five quick sips of water. That always works for me. I didn’t have any water (nothing is worse than needing to take a leak while waiting outside in 17 degree weather) and the only drink available was an 11 hour old cup of dunkin donuts iced coffee. Damn, I grabbed it and sipped it five times.
That was the single most disgusting moment of my life. Never, ever, have I been that grossed out by anything. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to hurl. I wanted to blow chunks all over the front of the car.
The hiccups stopped though, and I was able to get a whole vocal done on RPMarch01. Granted, it’s awful and I’ll have to do it again, but I got it done for now.