Tag: Stress

I’m Annoyed

Not going into specifics here, but has tonight been the most annoying night ever? I had errands to run after work and they all went down the crapper. My back is hurting. I don’t know if it’s a muscle thing or a kidney stone. I don’t know how to tell the different. My stomach has been pissed at me all day. I threw my diet into a tailspin while on vacation for a week, and then threw it into another tailspin just by trying to get back to normal.

I feel like the universe is pissed at me. Is the universe pissed at me?

Also, I really don’t want to drive to the office tomorrow. grumblegrumblegrumble.

Someone has a Case of the Mondays

It is Monday again. Blah.

I have two full work weeks (counting today) left before we go on vacation. Today is the start of what I expect will be a long two weeks. It’s weird how we just got through the holidays and their frequent days off, and yet after just one full week back at work I am already stressing out and needing to go away again. Does this mean I’m kinda spoiled rotten?

Yes. Yes it does.

Here’s a moody looking cat to lighten the moody:

Happy Monday, everyone. Blah, blah.

Mood

I woke up in a grade A shitty mood this morning and I don’t know why. Over tired? Probably. Stress? Maybe, but I can’t understand why or about what? Pissed off that the Bruins got smoked last night? Definitely.

I was starting to feel a little more relaxed over the last hour or so. Just generally calming down. Unfortunately I now have to go into a two hour meeting so… yeah.

Happy Tuesday, boys and girls. Let’s try to keep the grrrrrrrrr to a minimum, if we can.

Another Day

Today is Wednesday and it is my third consecutive day in the office. The traffic was bad. I want to go home. It’s not even 9:00am yet and I already want to go home. I am going to have a super busy, super stressful work day today. I just don’t feel up to it. Ugh.

As I walked in this morning the guy who sits next to me said good morning. I said good morning in return, but the thought that went through my head was something like good morning apart from the usual soul crushing existential dread. Another day, another walk through the shadow of the valley of emotional wreckage. You know how it is. Of course I exaggerate a little, and I also… ya know… edited my thoughts… like you do.

That lead to another thought. A lyric from a Triumph song. “Another day, another dollar, another pretty face. Another chance to lose yourself in this endless race.” That’s from the song Hold On from the album Just a Game. It’s a good record.

I think I am feeling gloomy for a physical reason. Let me tell you all about it.

When I was a high school brat I had a period where I dealt with some pretty bad acne. Not as bad as some of my classmates, but for a little window of time there it was bad. Bad enough that we asked a doctor about it. They put me on some Retin A (or whatever it was called) and it helped a little. Mostly, just getting through puberty is what resolved the issue. Fast forward to yesterday and I felt like something was in my eye. Weird. My right eye kept getting watery and that would blur my vision just a tiny bit. I thought maybe it was the start of a little conjunctivitis. Yippee for me. This morning I discovered the truth. It’s not pink eye or anything like that. It’s a pimple… on my lower eye lid. No, let me rephrase… it’s a great big muther of a zit and it’s on my lower eye lid. What the hell?

A zit on my eye that is big enough to cause my eye to water a little and I can just about almost see it. Again I ask, what the hell?

So if you’re wondering why I am in a weird funky mood today, that is probably it. Chalk it up to teenage acne coming back for another round of fun in my 50’s and punching me right in the freakin’ eye. Stupid zit. Stupid, stupid zit.

Stressing Out

Work is stressing me out like mad today. I don’t know why. I have half a mind to crawl under my desk and hide until 5:30. I won’t, obviously, but… damn.

The upside is that the Bruins have a 1:00pm game which is about to start. Good! Unfortunately they are playing Florida… again… ugh. I hate the Florida Panthers. I hate that we can’t seem to beat them anymore. I am also just really tired of playing them all the time. Can we get someone else in here for a game instead?

Hopefully the Bruins will win big and it will calm my stressed out brain a little bit. We’ll see.

Frustrated

Dude, you need to calm down. I know you’re in a fragile state right now, what with the impending wake and funeral, but you have to relax. You have to stop stressing. You have to stop letting everything get under your skin.

So what if the person sitting behind you in the open concept office space doesn’t have their laptop muted and you can hear the alert every time they get a Google Meet chat message, and so what if that alert is happening 2-3 times a minute all day long.

So what if that other person sitting near you doesn’t have their phone muted and it keeps ringing at 100 decibels and it also has the same ring tone you use on your own phone and every time it rings you simultaneously jump through the ceiling and reach for your own phone to answer the call that isn’t coming to you.

So what if two hours ago you asked someone to move an escalated issue they are looking at to another application, where it clearly belongs, so that management doesn’t start hounding you with questions and requests for updates that you will not be able to give and they ignored you (why?) and now you are both getting hounded by management with questions and requests for updates that you cannot provide because the issue does not belong with you and yet still they haven’t moved the fucking issue to the other application.

So what if the only thing on this Earth that you want to do is leave this fucking office and go work from home but you cannot for at least another three hours.

So what?

Just calm down, you psycho. Calm the frick down.

Stress

Why is it that missing a day of work makes things 100 times more stressful when you return the next day? I was out Friday and it seems like nothing really happened in my absence, but here we are today and I am stressing out over every tiny detail?

I thought this week would be a normal two-days-in-the-office week but now it’s three. I have three pieces of paperwork that I need to have done by (probably) Thursday. It should be super simple. In fact, there were four pieces of paperwork and I’ve already cranked out one of them. I’m freaking out over the remaining three though. Why? I have time off booked for Monday and Tuesday next week. I thought they were going to be music days, but now will the be spent with dad in the hospital? I don’t know. Maybe. Part of the time at least.

Seriously. Stop freaking out over nothing, Robert. You’ve got this shit covered. You can handle it. Stop stressing. Work is okay. Dad is going to be okay. Calm down and just get it done like you always do.

I think I might just be reacting to being sad that Bellana left for Vermont this morning. No clue when we’re going to see either kid again. I’m guessing that’s the real root of my struggles with this particular Monday.

Over all it’s not a bad day or anything, I am just stressin’ like ya do. May your Mondays be easier on the ol’ stomach, as it were.

Random Thoughts

The last few days have put me into a prolonged, slow burning state of freak out. Fun.

My friend’s father passed away on Monday. My father went into the hospital on Tuesday. No details on either situation will be forthcoming. We just got clobbered by a thunderstorm which, it turns out, was rough enough to knock out the power in the hospital. The backup generators kicked in a second later, but woah.

I am planning to go to the hospital after work tonight. I need to make dinner first but then I’ll go for a quick visit before visiting hours end. Tomorrow morning is the funeral. I’ll go to the hospital afterwards. How’s that for a tough day? The last few days have been bad, but tomorrow… woah.

On less important (re: not important at all) topics, I have one more episode of The Umbrella Academy’s final season to watch. I strongly suspect that once I finish that final episode I will immediately start a rewatch of the entire series from season one episode one. I think that is going to happen.

Earlier today I was looking at Threads (the twitter alternative social network made by the same assholes who make instagram and bookfayce which begs the question why the fuck am I giving this new social network site the time of day) and I posted that musically speaking, today is a Porcupine Tree kinda day (from a mental health standpoint, of course… meaning heavy and complicated and confusing if you’re not paying close attention). TWELVE MINUTES LATER I got a notification that the Porcupine Tree instagram account had been ported to Threads. They haven’t posted anything yet but I guess I should say you’re welcome?

I don’t know what the dad situation is going to be like this weekend but I do know that Bellana, my step daughter, is coming over for a visit. All the bad, scary stuff going on feels a little more bearable when the kids come by. I am really looking forward to seeing how she did at her conference this week. I want all the sciency details.

Speaking of science, from a nutritional standpoint I screwed up yesterday. I spent the whole day at the hospital with Dad and when I left the house I forgot to take my pill case with me. I took my breakfast vitamin pills before I left, and took my lunch vitamin pills when I got home for dinner. I was going to take my dinner vitamin pills before I went to sleep, but I fell asleep earlier than expected and missed that dose. Dummy. Note to self: bring the friggin’ pill case tomorrow. Dumb ass.

What else? Word from the hospital this afternoon is that Dad is starting to show early signs of coming out of whatever was wrong. My fingers and toes and eyes are all firmly crossed. Again, I am not sharing details beyond a small hint of optimism. Enjoy it while you can.

Okay, Robert. Stop stressing and get back to work. You have stuff to do. Do it.

Stressing Out

After writing about my friend’s tough day without sharing any details, I am now finding myself writing about my own stressful day without sharing any details.

There is stuff going on. I am not going to say what. I just need to tell the universe that I am trying very hard not to freak out. Yes I am an old man yelling at clouds, but what’s a red head to do besides just hang in there and hope for the best?

Yeah, I know this post doesn’t make sense. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay.

Let it End, Please

The first week back at work after a vacation. It has been a rough one. It’s always rough, but this week has been extra rough.

I was hoping it would end quietly and mercifully but I just got asked to join a 3:00pm meeting and it’s going to stress me out and piss me off and I am not looking forward to it.

10 minutes left before I have to join the conference call.

Crud.