It’s cold in our basement. My office space is in the basement. I am wearing a fleece jacket but I’m still a little cold. I have a space heater near my desk but I don’t like to use it too often. I sometimes turn it on around lunch time and let it go for part of the afternoon. It’s running right now.

Two hours ago our biggest, scariest customer had an issue blow up on them. It’s something that happens now and then and the case was assigned to me when it started. I got pulled into it and for some reason it freaked me out. I think (hope) I was able to stay on top of it and the issue is no longer occurring, but it got to me. I haven’t been bugged by a problem at work like that in a very long time. I can’t tell if my hands are shaking because it’s cold or because I am freaked.


The take away here though is that it’s not happening anymore and I did stay on top of it and I kept everyone up to date on all of the latest as it progressed. I did okay with it. Why did it freak me out so much?


Now I get to go into a 2.5 hour meeting and I didn’t really have any lunch. I snuck in a protein bar so I should be good to go, but I was hoping I’d be able to have a break during my lunch break. You know how it is.

Happy Tuesday, good people.


I was waiting on an insurance claim for my leave of absence from work in May. I expected it to be a formality that would be wrapped up in no time at all. I was wrong. I was stressing out over the open case the whole time and when I say I was stressing out… it was really stressful, you know?

I’ve been waiting for about a week now for the final document to come in the mail. Every day I was running up stairs and checking the mail box and every day I was left disappointed.

Until today.

I am so relieved. I am so happy that it’s all over. What an ordeal. Here’s hoping I never have to do anything like that again. At least if I do, I’ll know what to expect ahead of time. I won’t be this naïve again.


Sigh of Relief: Imminent

I am not ready to breathe a sigh of relief yet… but hopefully it’s just a matter of time.

I went on leave for most of the month of May and a couple of days in June. My company set me up with a claim for the Paid Family Medical Leave act and hooked me up with the insurance company they work with. It was this insurance company that is supposed to pay out my claim which, when combined with some sick time that I used to cover a small piece of the time off, will cover my salary for the month out.

I’ve had some trouble with the process. Partly just due to time zones but also due to some miscommunication and some difficulty getting documentation moved from point A to point B. There was a moment not long ago where I was thinking I was going to have to jump onto a plane, fly to the west coast, and staple a form into someone’s head.*

This morning I got an email from the insurance company telling me that I had a new document to review. What could it mean? I clicked the link in the email and their site was down. Most of the work I’ve done in this process was actually done through an iOS app so I tried to log into that and it was down too. Shit.

I carried on with my day and around 10:30 I tried the app again. It worked. My claim has been approved! Huzzah! Now what? I don’t know. I started drafting up an email to my rep but got pulled away for some work things.

A few minutes ago, as I was going to lunch, I checked the website to see if that was working. It was. There was one thing that didn’t show on the app. They cut a check. Yesterday. I checked the mail, symbolically, but it hasn’t crossed the continent in the last 18 hours.

This process has been more difficult than I ever would have imagined it would be. The latest update to my account shows that the end is in sight, but I am not going to breathe that sigh of relief until the check arrives and clears. Please please please let that be soon. Going a full month without a pay check is so stressful. You wouldn’t believe how stressful it is. I really want this off of my back. Please.

*Figuratively speaking, of course.

Back to Work

My month of post-surgery medical leave is officially over. I punched in to work for the first time at a little before 9:00am.

I am so far behind it’s insane, yet at the same time I already feel like I never left. There have been a bunch of staffing changes and some new policies and other fun things. I had 1,683 emails in my inbox when I started the day, and I think there have been 50 or so more come in today already.

I have had meetings all morning and that has made it tough to get my liquids in. I am in the middle of a slightly shortened lunch break right now and I am not sure if I will be able to finish my 2.5 ounce meal before the next meeting starts. In the past I would just eat quickly and then chug some water if I was feeling dehydrated. I can’t do that now though. My stomach won’t let me.

This will calm down over the next day or so, but for today I am stressing mightily. It will be okay though. I am happy to be back. I just want to feel a little less like an alien posing as me, you know what I mean? You probably don’t know what I mean, but that’s sort of how I feel.

Weird, man.

10 Minutes to Go

10 minutes until quittin’ time on this chilly, cloudy Thursday in April.

I really need a haircut. We’re talkin’ desperately need a haircut. I should really go and take care of it on the way home tonight, but guess what I am not going to do. I’ve been in the office all day and I just want to get home and see my brilliant, beautiful wife.

I could try to go tomorrow before my doctors appointment, but I think we can all agree that isn’t happening either. Depending on how long the “class” takes, I might be able to squeeze one in before I have to punch into work. That’s a definite possibility.

I don’t want to go over the weekend because Covid-19 is still a thing even though no one acts like it anymore. Well, no one but me and Jen at least. Maybe not no one, but you dig what I’m saying. If I have to I could probably do it before work on Monday. Not Tuesday though. On Tuesday I’ll be on my clear liquids only diet and I’ll be freaking out.

So I’ll have it done by Monday.

The other big question coming up… if my Surgery is on Wednesday, when am I going to get a chance to see the season finale of MoonKnight? I might watch it when Disney+ posts it at 3:00am Eastern time because I sure as shit am not going to be sleeping much. We’ll see. They are going to call me on Tuesday to tell me what time the surgery is booked. I won’t know before then. Just a little tiny thing adding to the little tiny (Himalayas sized) stress.


Lunch Break

I’ve been eating too much at lunch. I’ve been eating too much at dinner. I’ve been eating too much after dinner. The rest of the day is generally aces.

We’re six days away from the surgery. Gastric Bypass. It sounds like road construction and to a degree it is. I’ve probably said this a few times before, but as scared as I am of having my guts chopped up I am more afraid of what comes after. This isn’t just a cosmetic surgery thing where you loose tons of weight and then carry on with your life. The surgery itself is just one small part of the process. You need to follow it up by completely changing everything. That’s what’s stressing me out today. Well… that’s part of it.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. It’s the first of a series of classes where they will teach me what to do when I get home. I have to relearn how to eat and drink. I have to relearn how to prepare food. I have to relearn how to react when my guts talk to me. Miss a hint from your insides and end up praying to the porcelain god for an hour. that sort of thing. The first class covers living through the first couple of weeks. The second class is the second couple of weeks, and so on and so forth.

I’m doing my best to stay optimistic about the whole thing, but it’s getting hard to focus on the positive. It’s getting hard to focus on anything. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Until then…

Back to work.

Only Nine Left

I had a pretty crummy nights sleep on Sunday. I had a crummier nights sleep last night. Part of it is from having everything thrown off with the contractor staying super late. Part of it is knowing that one week from today I will be on a clear liquids only diet in preparation for having my innards ripped apart and stapled back together. Yeah, that might be it.

Maybe I should distract myself with something so that I don’t freak myself out.


Here is The Great 2022 Marvel Cinematic Universe Chronological Rewatch of 2022 Update:

  • Phase One-ish
    • Captain America: The First Avenger
    • Captain Marvel
    • Iron Man
    • The Incredible Hulk
    • Iron Man 2
    • Thor
    • Marvel’s The Avengers
  • Phase Two-ish
    • Iron Man 3
    • Thor: The Dark World
    • Captain America: The Winter Soldier
    • Guardians of the Galaxy
    • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
    • Avengers: Age of Ultron
    • Ant-Man
  • Phase Three-ish
    • Captain America: Civil War
    • Black Widow
    • Spider-Man: Homecoming
    • Black Panther
    • Doctor Strange
    • Thor: Ragnarok
    • Ant-Man and the Wasp
    • Avengers: Infinity War
    • Avengers: Endgame
    • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Phase four-ish
    • Eternals
    • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
    • Spider-Man: No Way Home

Doctor Strange is done. Check that one off. Interstellar Overdrive blared forth from the soundtrack and all was good. It’s a killer movie, but I have to admit he’s not my favorite character. I am looking forward to the sequel though. It looks pretty good.

Up next is Thor: Ragnarock. The moment when Thor stopped being over blown and pompous and a smidge on the boringish side and started being hilariously funny and really good. This is one of the MCU’s best moments. Also, I’m only two flicks away from Infinity War when the best of the best starts.

Been a While

It’s been almost a month since I played my guitar. It’s starting to effect my mental health.

At least I think it is. The lack of playing combined with the daily construction combined with the approaching surgery combined with the approaching lifetime of dietary and lifestyle changes that follow the surgery have all contributed to my current mental state. Given that information it’s hard to say if the guitar is all that big a part of the stressedness.

I think it is. I need to play.


Remember that post from this morning where I said I was hoping the stress level would be reduced from yesterday?

Good heavens, no. Yesterday’s work day stress times 100.

I think I am going to go outside and crawl under a car or something. Maybe stick my face in a fan. Something less stressful than today’s work day.


Today is Insane

I’m stressing out, bro.

There are so many people here. A three man electrician team, our regular contractor, his drywall subcontractor, and a landscaper team with at least four people. Talk about a perfect storm. We knew the electricians and our regular contractor would be here. Everyone else is a surprise.

The old cellar lights with the big fluorescent tubes are gone. The last of the drop ceiling framing is gone, the last of the un-insulated cellar walls have been insulated. The front and back yards have been cleaned, including the litter that the wind and the squirrels put into the edge of the woods. Most of it at least. They didn’t do the best job there, but they did a good job everywhere else.

As we speak, the new cellar lighting is being installed and wired up, and the wall board that is going to be installed starting tomorrow is being loaded into the cellar.

From a Covid safety standpoint, everyone is masked and everyone is entering the house through the cellar bulkhead. The cellar is a big open space so everyone can stay as distanced as they need, and no one has to walk through the main floor to get in and out.

Still… It’s stressful. It’s also loud. Lots of banging and hammering and crashing and cacophony and super loud leaf blowers and all of that stuff. It’s making it difficult to work.

Oh yeah, speaking of work. Insert frustrated screaming here. Nothing too terrible, but lots and lots of little things that are piling up and making me want to hide my head under the covers.

So yeah… stressful as hell kinda Tuesday. I’m ready for bed.