Tough Morning So Far

I went to sleep really late last night. It was almost 1:00am. I slept for less than six hours and it was pretty crummy quality. I got out of bed a little before 7:00am and started my 30 minute exercise only to have to stop after 10 minutes because we had an air conditioner tech coming out to service our central air and our mini-split. He left just as I was starting work so it didn’t interfere with anything in a problematic way, it just messed with my routine. At least I was able to put the laundry away and do the dishes and setup the PlayStation 4 in the rearranged living room. There will be surround sound Rush blu rays spinning in the near future.

My stomach is a bit of a mess today. I was short on my protein counts yesterday so about an hour before I went to bed I had about an ounce of peanuts to get myself over the 60 gram goal. I finished over an hour before I conked out for the night, but my stomach still feels off. Maybe peanuts late at night is a bad idea. I did eat some scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning and boy am I gassy now. The burps are seismic. Let’s keep an eye on this today, shall we?

Speaking of Rush, today would have been Neil Peart’s 70th birthday. His brother asked fans to wear Rush t-shirts today in his memory. I am partaking, but should I need to join a conference call with a customer I’ll change into a collared shirt.

On the topics of weight loss and collared shirts, I bought some new clothes on Saturday. Two office appropriate shirts and two pairs of jeans. The shirts are one “X” size smaller than what I bought pre-surgery. The jeans are four inches smaller on the waist than the last time I bought jeans, and eight inches smaller than what I was wearing pre-surgery. I’m wearing new jeans right now and boy does it feel nice to wear clothes that fit. Oh, yes.

Okay, back to work. Talk to you later, kids.

Clean

The CPAP machine has been cleaned like crazy and it has a new air filter. Here’s hoping we get a good night’s sleep tonight. If not I might change the mask, but I’m sure I’ll sleep like a baby tonight.

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Bad Night

I went to sleep last night at a little after 11:00pm and woke up a little before 1:00am. My CPAP mask was slipping and sliding all over my face and it was leaking like nuts. I pulled the straps as tight as I could stand it and went back to sleep. I woke up again a little before 4:00am with a splitting headache. Were the two things related? I don’t know, but I couldn’t get back to sleep for a while. I got up and walked around for a bit (earning two stand hours! Bright side, babie!) and then managed to get back to sleep.

When I got up at about 7:00am my head was still a little funny, and I was extra tired, but as I started going through my morning routine I definitely felt better. I wouldn’t say I’m feeling 100%, but I’m getting there. I’ll probably take a Covid test this morning, just for paranoia’s sake. I’m sure I’m good though.

Harry has spent most of the summer at our house. Yesterday he went to his dad’s and he’s not coming back here until next Friday. Then he goes back to school on Sunday. We are effectively empty nesters again and we’re both feeling pretty sad about it. I need to play guitar this weekend to cheer myself up. I also need to play photographer this weekend to further cheer myself up. When I spoke to the psychologist during my pre-surgery prep time he asked if I had anything to use instead of food for reward behavior and cheering myself up. I said it would probably end up being guitars and cameras… now is the time, my reward behavior friends.

Also, I started a candle time lapse today because I am a total freakin’ nerd. Also…

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Early Morning

I have to be at my parents house in Tewksbury before 7:00am tomorrow. Holy schnikies, that’s early! I will leave around 8:00 so that I can get home for work, but jiminey crickets, that’s early!

It’s quarter to 10pm right now. If I had half a brain I’d go right to sleep, but I think I’ll watch some photography videos on the YouTubes instead.

Moron.

Tired

I am in the habit of going to sleep later and later and then waking up later and later. That habit needs to end right now. Right this minute. I was doing so good. I was going to sleep around 11:00pm and waking up at 6:00am. Four of the last five days have seen me push those times up an hour at least. I need to get up early enough to get my morning walkies in and still have time for breakfast. I don’t like eating breakfast while I work. This needs to change.

Also, I am tired and I don’t want to be. The tiniest change to my sleep schedule messes me up for days. Days, I tells ya.

Okay, I have to go make my breakfast and then go back to work. Ugh.

Sleep Apnea Thoughts

I was tested for Sleep Apnea because I couldn’t get a good nights sleep to save my life and I was snoring so loud that I couldn’t stay in the room with Jen anymore.

When I started looking into Gastric Bypass I was told that the surgery would result in enough weight loss to cure my apnea. That sounded good to me.

101 pounds later I’m trying to decide how I’ll know when my apnea is cured if I never stop using the CPAP machine. It seems the only course of action is to just stop using it and see what happens.

But when? I asked Jen what she thought, given that my snoring keeps her awake even more than it keeps me awake. We were both on the same page. If I lose 30 more pounds I’ll do an experiment where I don’t use the machine for a night and see what happens. I’ll be curious how it affects Jen’s sleep, and what the sleep numbers my AppleWatch records look like.

At this rate that will be 4-5 weeks from now. Until then I’ll keep sticking that mask over my face.

Sleepy Monday

It’s Monday. Back to work today. I’ll punch in about 30 minutes from now. How will the new work week feel? Last week was weird. It simultaneously felt like I never left and like I was completely out of touch and clueless.

Will I feel more like myself and less like an imposter this week? I don’t know. I assume whatever weirdness was happening last week will cease eventually, but when?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that I am trying to have a little chicken for breakfast and I think I went too fast or didn’t chew a bite thoroughly enough because my stomach is acting unhappily. It feels like a little pressure in my digestive track. Almost like there’s a bite of food sitting outside of the stomach, waiting for the bouncer to let him in. I may have used that analogy before. Have I? I can’t recall for sure. I think I’ll wait five minutes or so before the next bite. How exciting is this?

Speaking of post-op recovery. One of the restrictions they put on me was not lifting anything heavy for six weeks. 25 pounds was the limit. I’ve been wanting to swap the amp out of my music nook, but both amps are over 40 pounds. Fortunately my six weeks are up on Wednesday. Vox out/Fender in, the day after tomorrow.

Last night was the first night since before the surgery that I failed to get six hours of sleep. Five hours and 40 minutes. I’m feeling sleepy right now. My sleeping hart rate dip was 21%, and my restful sleep time was four hours and five minutes. Those numbers are pretty good. The total though… early to bed tonight?

Okay. I think I will punch in now.

Step Back

I don’t know what to think right now. My mother seemed to take a step forward yesterday. It was good. There was a bit of optimism. I just heard that last night she took a big step back. I don’t know what to think now. I am just so sad.

We slept a little late this morning and it’s thrown off my mojo a little. Work is weird. I feel like I never left, but I also feel completely out of touch. I mean, it was only four weeks. It’s not like I forgot how to do everything. I said the other day I was feeling like an alien. That’s it. Totally. I feel like an alien posing as me. I blame my new stomach, but only because I have nothing else to blame it on but me.

Harry is at his dad’s this week but he came over to watch part four of Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was awesome. We did not, however, watch the first episode of Ms Marvel. I’m trying to sneak it in before work. I should just make it. That means I am not watching this week’s episode of Star Trek Strange New Worlds. That will have to wait for later tonight. All in all, I’d rather be seeing my mother moving to a new facility rather than anything Marvel or Star Trek or even Star Wars.

Chicken for breakfast. I’m starting to get a little sick of scrambled eggs. Is that new? I never used to get sick of food. If I ever get sick of chicken I am screwed. Hold on while I start my 30 seconds-between-bites clock.

Tough Night

I hit my goal for protein yesterday and I only missed my fluid goal by one ounce. I felt like I was in a good place as bed time approached.

It was about 11:00pm and I was trying to decide if I wanted to hate watch Fear the Walking Dead on the 11:15pm AMC replay or just pack it in for the night. I was sitting up in bed surfing around on my iPad when I realized I could only see the edges of the screen.

Ah, hell.

I don’t know about anyone else, but that vision thing has happened to me 3-4 times in my life and it’s very clearly the start of a migraine. In those few previous experiences the only help was darkness and sleep. It was bed time anyway so I quickly killed the lights, put on the CPAP mask, squeezed my eyes shut, and pulled the covers over my head. Fortunately I was asleep before the headache pain kicked in. I did wake up for a while a couple of hours later and there was definitely a headache. Fortunately, again, I was able to fall back to sleep pretty quickly.

When I woke up, at around 6:30am, I was better, I guess. My head was a little mushy but the pain was pretty much gone and my eyes were back to normal. Now, about four hours later, I am better still. I’m not 100%, but I am okay. I took out the trash, scooped the litter box, filled the bird feeder, and did a load of laundry. That’s a lot of work for me right now. I think it’s time to just watch some TV and calm my ass down for a while.

Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen again, and if it does let’s hope it waits a few years at least.

Boy, am I Tired

A little less than six hours of sleep two nights ago. A little less than five hours of sleep last night.

It is catching up to me. Yikes, friends and neighbors.

I cleaned all of the pieces of my CPAP machine today in the hopes of karmically getting myself some good sleep tonight. Yes, that use of the word “karmically” doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t apply to this situation at all. I used it ironically to point out how mentally exhausted I am. It’s the English Language, boys and girls. It’s like jazz, you can use the rules of the language to justify and legitimize all sorts of mistakes. Dig that crazy sound, man.

What the heck was I talking about before I stopped making sense? Huh… I should really give Talking Heads another look one of these days. If Adrien Belew liked them then maybe my 80’s ambivalence was misdirected.

Does any of this make sense? I don’t know if I got this point across or not, but I am really tired.