Tag: sad

Down

Why am I feeling down this week? Hey Robbie, why so blue?

I don’t know. If I knew, I’d fix it but I really don’t know.

I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything. Is this what being stuck in a rut means when people say they are stuck in a rut?

I want to play guitar and write crappy songs and record crappy home demos but I stare at my guitars in their cases and I stare at the GarageBand icon on my laptop and I just can’t bring myself to do anything.

I wanted 2026 to be the year of live music. I’ve been to one show an have tickets to two more but there is a Jenny Owen Youngs show in Portsmouth next month that I’d love to see and I can’t bring myself to do anything about it and The Pineapple Theif is playing in Somerville in November and the tickets go onsale today and I just can’t bring myself to do anything about it.

I want to start taking advantage of the Spring-ish weather and go outside and shoot pictures. I was thinking of the sunrise at the ocean visit for this weekend but the forecast calls for heavy clouds both mornings and any thoughts of anything else just vanished into thin air.

I want to read books, and I’m in the middle of one, but I just look at the cover and sigh and don’t even pick it up. I’m following a bunch of TV shows (The Boys, The Testaments, For All Mankind, Daredevil, Star Wars: Maul) but I only pay attention in the mornings when I’m exercising or at night just before bed (which I stopped doing last year because I was waking up with headaches every day and don’t think for a second I’m not scared shitless that that particular bullshit is going to start up again) and even when the episodes are excellent I find my mind wandering away.

Work is… work. I have a thousand things going on and I am having a hard time covering all of the things that I have to do.

Shit.

I don’t know. We’re one work day away from the weekend. We’re going to a live comedy show tomorrow and on Sunday we’re going to see Project Hail Mary again, this time on an IMAX screen. Maybe I’ll cheer up. I hope so. This sucks.

One More Day

Three days in a row this week I have worked in the office. Tomorrow will be the fourth day. I don’t think I’ve done four days in the office in one week since before Covid came along and fudged up everything. It’s only a half day tomorrow thanks to a doctors appointment. It’s still a day in the office though, and the office isn’t my usual office, it’s the one that’s way further away from home. Crud.

The traffic coming home tonight was insane. At one point I looked down at Google Maps running on my phone and it told me to get off route 128. I did. The traffic was only slightly better than stopped so I exited. Maps then told me to get back on the highway in the opposite direction. I think we all can wrap our heads around the GPS telling you to drive the wrong way is a bad sign.

Eventually I got onto route 3. I had a moment… I drove past the assisted living place my parents lived at before they passed away. I haven’t been there since we finished cleaning out Dad’s apartment. It made me sad. Then the route took me past the exist in Tewksbury that I would take to go to the house I grew up in. For the first time since it was sold I felt sad driving past. Yeah… today’s evening commute sucked in multiple ways.

It’s 9:47pm now. I am going to post this masterpiece and go try to get a little songwriting work in before I go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow to make the most difficult of my four consecutive morning commutes. It’s like the pandemic never happened. Crud.

Good News and Bad News

I feel like I’ve been doing this a lot recently. Sharing some information on the ol’ bloggie page without giving any details at all.

I am going to do it again… twice.

I had something on my schedule at work for tomorrow. It happened today instead and it went well. It was good news. It made me a little bit happy. It also took some pressure off of my schedule for tomorrow. Good stuff, indeed.

Then I got some really bad news. I am not sharing specifics, partly because I don’t have any specifics to share. Suffice to say things went down outside of work and outside of my home that are really scary and awful and oh shit I really hope they are not accurate. Bad news that has the potential to become terrible really bad news.

So… yeah… I am the very definition of mixed feelings right now. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going or what.

Happy Tuesday, ya’ll.

Crummy

I’m feeling kinda blue today. I don’t know why. The weather is ugly today and I am in the office when I’d rather be home and I just don’t feel like today is going to be a good day. Once I am home I am sure my mood will turn around.

Part of me thinks that maybe I feel low because the summer is flying by and we are missing out on what it has to offer. I don’t think that’s true. The summer has been good so far. Lots of cookouts, lots of kid visit time. What more could we ask for? That can’t be it. No, I think I just needed to be at home on a sunny day today and neither is the case.

Blah.

Here’s today’s photo a day pic. It’s the same guitar again because I don’t have time or energy to think of anything else. If I get a chance to play some before work tomorrow I am going to use a different guitar. I think. Maybe. We’ll see.

328/365
328/365

Sports are Making Me Sad

The Bruins were bounced from the playoffs last night.

The Red Sox have lost four games in a row and have dropped below .500.

Those are the only pro sports I follow, and they are both making me sad.

The Boston team in the new Professional Women’s Hockey League is in the finals. It’s about time I started following that league now.

Bad Vibes on a Bad Monday

I am not going to go into details but there was something in the track record of the company I’ve worked for for almost 19 years that made me very happy. As of this afternoon, that something is no longer in our track record.

It doesn’t affect me or anyone that I work with directly, but I really feel let down. I was proud of this little factoid and I can’t be proud of it anymore. It sucks.

Also, it’s gloomy and rainy out and I had a crappy night’s sleep last night and I don’t feel like I’ve physically recovered from this morning’s exercise. I guess I am just not having a terribly good day today and I am bummed out.

Visit

Visiting my mother. She’s asleep in the dining room. That’s not uncommon. It makes me sad, but as dad once said, if she’s sleeping she’s not in pain. That’s some bright side thinking right there.

I’m hitting the grocery store on the way home and might (if weather and population allow) stop at The Park and snap a pic or two. As always, we will see.

Sad Day

One of my father’s friends, who also used to be my boss (twice), passed away this morning. I haven’t had a chance to talk to my father yet. His friend (my former boss… twice) had been ill for a while. This isn’t a surprise. It sucks though.

It’s also sad that Queen Elizabeth II has passed away as well. It doesn’t effect me at all, but to all in the United Kingdom, my sympathies. 96 years old and 70 years on the job? I think that qualifies as a “good run.”

I am 51 years old and I have never lived in a world where England had a King. Is the correct saying now the Queen is dead, long live the King? I’ve never heard it said that way, but it makes logical sense.

Rest in peace, Charlie. Rest in peace, Elizabeth.

ADDENDUM: I should clarify that my father’s friend’s name is Charlie. Saying rest in peace Charlie was not a political commentary on the future of King Charles III.

Friday Night

Not much going on around here tonight. It’s Friday. We got take out for dinner. We’re just hunkering down, waiting for the snow to come. Jen’s playing World of Warcraft, I’m in the bedroom watching The MandalorianThe Book of Boba Fett.

I just found out that my Godmother down in Alabama isn’t well. I don’t have any information, but I’m worried. I hope she’s okay.

I still have 19 more minutes of exercise to get in tonight and I am sitting here watching TV. It’s Star Wars TV, but it’s still TV. I’m feeling like I am falling behind everything again. I am so tired of Covid. I am so tired of everything being off. At the same time, I have to start going back to the office next week. Only once a week, but we’re in a massive Covid surge and still we’re going back. I’m just confused. Messed up, tired, and confused.

Ah, fuckadoodle. Once this episode of The MandalorianThe Book of Boba Fett is over I will try to do another few minutes on the exercise bike and then maybe play guitar for a few. Anything to briefly take my tiny mind off of the state of the universe. The Bruins are out in Arizona tonight. The game starts at 9:00. That should distract me for a while.

I hate it when I feel like this. I was right as rain while Jen and I were eating dinner together. Now I am just blue.

This is the way.

Retail Therapy

It took me 50 years before I had a year where there wasn’t a christmas. This is it, folks. The year without a santa claus for reals.

On Saturday it will be pretty much a normal Saturday. Jen and I are planning on a nice dinner together. Maybe we’ll play some Mario Kart and watch a movie or maybe binge watch some TV or something. We’ll just spend the day together.

I was going to write this post about how I wanted to take my frustrations out on capitalism by buying a new guitar. A Les Paul Junior to be exact. I jokingly asked the love of my life if she would be okay with me buying yet another guitar and to my shock and amazement she said yes! That’s twice she’s said yes to me! Once in the backyard at the duplex when I was on my knee, and then again today. How wonderful!

That’s when she told me she was doing the same thing. Maybe a Nintendo Switch or a PS5. We had a good laugh. I’m not going to buy a $1,600 guitar, especially when it’s only a few months after Jen bought me a much more expensive guitar for my 50th birthday. There is a chance though that I might magically (though probably not christmas magic, given the circumstances) upgrade a pedal or two in the coming days. You know… magically.