Oh thank you, thank you, thank you hockey gods. Last night the Tampa Bay Lightning won the Stanley Cup giving me one final correct prediction and making my full post season record a tiny bit better than flipping a coin.
Here are my win/loss records per round: First round: 6-2 Second round: 1-3 Third round: 1-1 Final round: 1-0
That gives me a record of 9-6. That looks like a 60% success rate to me. Much better than the 53% it would have been if Dallas had won. So even though I hate the Tampa Bay Lightning with a passion because they beat my Bruins in the second round, I have to tip my cap to them, congratulate them on their second(?) franchise championship, and thank them for making me look good in the end.
For a minute there, I was worried I was going to get both third round picks wrong. I hate you and you suck, Tampa Bay, but thank you for fulfilling my prophecy. Or something like that.
Going into the third round I was 7-5 for the playoffs. I was at risk of going into the finals at .500, but thankfully I’m still on top of things. I’m still better at this than flipping a coin.
My third round results:
Lightning vs Islanders: I picked the Lightning even though they are the slime that knocked out my Bruins. The Lightning won. I was right.
Golden Knights vs Stars: In Vegas, the house always wins in the end. I picked Vegas and Vegas beat me. Dallas won and I was wrong.
First round: 6-2 Second round: 1-3 Third round: 1-1 Total so far: 8-6
One round to go. The whole enchilada. The be all end all. The Stanley Cup Finals.
Stars vs Lightning: I have no idea. None at all. No clue. They’ve both screwed me over. The Lightning screwed me over by beating the Bruins. The Stars screwed me over three times by beating a team I picked. Should I go with Dallas just because of that? I don’t know. I think I have to pick Tampa Bay because… well… they are awesome and kinda deserve it. They deserved it last year too (it pains me so much to say that… I really freakin’ hate them) but choked in spectacular fashion. Will they choke again? Ah crud, who knows. I’m picking the Lightning.
The series starts tonight. The last hurrah for the bubble. During the pandemic in 1918 they made it to the finals before they canceled the season. This time, the bubble seems to be working. I think we’re going to have a champion this year. Unfortunately, it won’t be the Bruins. Crud.
The tradition has been continuing long enough that I just have to face facts. I suck at predicting the second round. I mean… I just plain suck. Royally. Certifiably.
Remember the first round? I did great in the first round. I correctly picked six of the eight series. Look at me being all 6-2 and stuff. Then comes the second round and everything falls apart.
Let us recap:
Flyers vs Islanders: Oh look at that, the Flyers lost. Welcome to the Conference finals, Islanders.
Lightning vs Bruins: Heartbreak. Devastation. I picked my hometown heroes the Boston Bruins to beat the Lightning and the Bruins lost in five. Sadness. Pain and suffering. Not only that but I got the whole Eastern Conference wrong.
Golden Knights vs Canucks: Who woulda thought that betting on Vegas would pay off, huh? I got one right. I’m not a total loser!
Avalanche vs Stars: I picked the Avalanche over the Stars and the Avalanche (who I also predicted would win the third round too) blew it and lost.
First round: 6-2 Second round: 1-3 Total so far: 7-5
At least I’m still on the upside.
So now we move on to the Conference Finals. All four teams are supposed to be in Edmonton now. Game one of the Western series is tonight at 8:00pm Eastern time, so I’d best get my picks in, eh?
In the East:
Lightning vs Islanders: Oh why don’t you just kiss my big fat ass, fate. The team that bounced my team matched up with a team from New York? How the hell do I handle that? I have to pick the Islanders because I can’t pick Tampa, even though Tampa’s probably going to win in four and then go on to the Cup Finals and win that in four. Ah hell, I have to pick with my brain instead of my heart and I hate both of these bastards anyway… shit… I’m picking the Lightning. Crap.
Over in the West:
Golden Knights vs Stars: At least this one’s easy. Well… I thought it would be easy in the last round too. I thought the Stars were cannon fodder and then there they are winning. Not this time though. Vegas is the team to be. I’m picking the Golden Knights.
And there we have it. Two more series. If I get them both wrong I’ll be exactly 50/50 for the playoffs which means I’m as accurate as a coin flip which is probably the only accurate thing I’ve thought all day.
I picked Colorado to win their second round NHL playoff series against Dallas. I changed my mind while listening to game seven.
I was using the NHL app to stream the Avalanche radio broadcast. During the second intermission the Avs were up 3-2. The radio broadcast back-at-the-studio guy was talking about the scores in the other series. He mentioned that game one of the third round series is scheduled for Sunday, and whoever wins the 9:00 game tonight will have to play the Avs on Sunday.
Wait, play the Avs on Sunday? The Avs still had a period to go in their game seven and someone was going to have to play them on Sunday?
Can you guess what happened? I could. As soon as that arrogant putz said it I knew Colorado was losing, and I knew I’d be happy about it. They ended up losing the game in overtime and therefore they lost the series.
Whoever wins the 9:00pm game has to play Dallas on Sunday.
I feel like we’re missing out. The Bruins were unceremoniously bounced from the NHL playoffs in game five of their second round series. All of the other series have gone to game seven. All three of them. I’m listening to Dallas/Colorado right now and I think I just heard them mention that all of the remaining three series had a team come back from being down three games to one to force their game seven.
As mentioned, Dallas/Colorado is happening as I type this (it’s 2-1 Avs in the first intermission). Vancouver/Vegas is tonight at 9:00pm (Eastern time, as always). Islanders/Flyers play tomorrow at 7:30pm. It’s still possible for these jerks to make my predictions look good. I think I need the Avalanche, the Golden Knights, and the Flyers to win, which would put me at 3-1 for the playoff round. I’d trade it all for another Bruins game though.
For the second day in a row I did some car vocals. Last night I wrote up lyrics for five more songs, all while watching The Bruins let game two slip away. I thought they were going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat as Tampa Bay completely outplayed them, but no such luck. The Lightning took it in overtime.
So I had five more songs ready for bad singing and I drove to the movie theater again and cranked ’em out. There were no weird spectator moments like yesterday, but I did manage to wrap it up quickly (simply by choosing to not add harmony parts to one of the songs) so I decided to take the long way home.
The first round of the NHL playoffs ended last night without any series going to seven games. Kind of a bummer in the dramatic sense, but the Bruins won so it’s all good.
Here are the results from round one….
In the East:
Flyers vs Canadiens: I picked the Flyers and the Flyers won. I hate the Canadiens with every fiber of my being, but I still kinda wish they’d been able to knock off the #1 seed. Oh well. 1-0
Lightning vs Blue Jackets: I was rooting for the Blue Jackets but they didn’t pull through. They did it last year, but not this time. The Lightning won. 1-1
Capitals vs Islanders: I went for the upset and I was right. The Islanders won. 2-1
Bruins vs Hurricanes: For the second year in a row, the Bruins beat the Whale and all was right with the world. 3-1
In the West:
Golden Knights vs Blackhawks: I picked Vegas and Vegas won. 4-1
Avalanche vs Coyotes: I picked the Avalanche and the Avalanche won. 5-1
Stars vs Flames: I picked the Flames… woops. 5-2
Blues vs Canucks: I picked the Canucks and the Canucks won. As much fun as it would have been to get revenge on St Louis in the finals, there will be no 2019 rematch this year. 6-2
I picked the winner in six out of eight series. I feel like NostroHockeyDamas or some shit. Of course, I usually nail the first round before crashing and burning in the second round. Here we go…..
In the East:
Flyers vs Islanders: Oh crap. I hate Philly. I hate New York. I would like to see them both lose. Given the current standings I would prefer to see Philly lose. They won’t. I’m picking the Flyers, but rooting for the Islanders.
Lightning vs Bruins: The match up we were all afraid of last year that didn’t happen is finally happening. This year… without Tuukka… ugh. I’m picking the Bruins because they are the Bruins, but it’s a pretty even series. This one is going seven.
In the West:
Golden Knights vs Canucks: Our old 2011 Stanley Cup nemesis is about to become 2020 cannon fodder. Sorry, Vancouver. I’m picking Vegas.
Avalanche vs Stars: I’m jumping the gun a tad here, but the Avalanche are my pick to win the West. Sorry Dallas, I’m picking the Avs.