There may be time for me to play my guitar tonight. Not only that, I may have an opportunity to play through an amp at ear bleeding volume. Nice, huh?
How much do you want to bet that I’ll sit on the new couch watching television instead? I have zero motivation for anything right now. No motivation at all.
This cat 100% looks like I feel. She is absolutely my spirit animal right now.
I feel like I am losing interest in the photo a day challenge (after five years, maybe it’s time). How long until I lose interest in 50/90? Is my creative well just starting to run dry? I don’t know. We’ll see.
It’s an office day today. I’m up early to start my exercising and to get some shite* done and here I am typing in this completely useless blog post.
Motivation level = Zero.
Hey! I am trying to pick off another episode of Torchwood because I am trying to finish off the show (even though I don’t exactly love it) and here is season three episode one and Peter Capaldi is in it! Doctor Who Number 12’s actor in his second of two Doctor Who related roles from before he was actually cast as The Doctor. Fascinating.
Where was I?
Oh yeah. The morning routine. Let’s start my exercising and maybe get some shite done before I have to drive in to work.
*Back in the 1980’s I started obsessively reading the novels and short stories written by Clive Barker. Mr. Barker, in at least one of his works, used the word “shite”. I had never heard or read that word before. Mr. Barker is from Liverpool. Is shite a Liverpudlian thing? I don’t know. I do know that I am currently a little more than half way through the audio book version of Weaveworld and hearing the word shite get used again is making me feel nostalgic for the old days of language discovery and shite.
Following up on the previous post. I looked out the window to make sure the bird feeders survived the night (as you do) and saw a squirrel had made it past the anti-squirrel baffle and was chowing down.
Fuck it. I don’t want to play that anymore either. I give up.
We’re going to see Harry for a few minutes today. If it weren’t for that, I think I would be crashing into a major depression right now.
Fuck it all, I’m going fishing.*
*Not literally. That would take effort and clearly that is beyond me right now.
Motivation… I just can’t…
What is wrong with me?
I keep coming up with ideas for creative things to do and I keep failing to do them. I can’t even get myself to start them, never mind finish them. What the hell, Robert?
Did I get up early and go to the ocean to take pictures? No, of course not. Don’t be fucking ridiculous. I slept three hours past the alarm. Of course I did.
DoI play the guitar every day? Do I play the guitar once a week? Don’t be stupid.
Did I plant peanuts? Did I make sugar free ice cream? Am I going to do either? Don’t be stupid, of course not.
Literally the only thing I can bring myself to do as far as projects are concerned is watch the fucking television. I’d say I was going to melt my brain but clearly it’s already been completely liquified.
Today has been a tough day. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. I was up until about midnight and then I was out of bed before 5:30am today. I was extremely productive this morning, but round about lunch time the lack of sleep caught up to me and I’ve been struggling ever since.
I think today is my last day working in the cellar. At least for a few weeks. I should be back in my step son’s room tomorrow. that’s good because it is ridiculously cold down here right now. It’s 85 degrees outside, but 66 degrees at my desk and I am freezing. We are supposed to be having a heat wave roll in starting tomorrow (I think). That’s fine with me. I probably won’t wear a sweatshirt if it is 100 degrees out. Maybe. We’ll see how it goes.
I had some trouble with lunch. I made a little piece of chicken and some french fries. I think I went too fast eating the fries and something got stuck. It took about an hour to clear. That made me sad on top of being tired. The fries were really good and I had to stop. Bummer, dude.
I need to take the cameras out and shoot some photos. I can’t seem to dredge up any motivation though. I need to play guitar. I can’t seem to dredge up any motivation though. Bummer, dude.
How’s your Sunday going? Relaxing? Nice weekend day off? I hope so.
I am finding motivation very hard to come by. I got up a little late, did my exercise, ate my breakfast, wrote my daily writing prompt post, recorded a bunch of songs worth of crappy vocals, made the bed, and…
Apart from making lunch for me and my wife (burgers in a frying pan and french fries in an air fryer) I haven’t been able to push myself to accomplish anything else. I am going to try and play some guitar right now. Maybe for an hour or so. I am going to make dinner later, another Dinnerly meal like last night only hopefully my wife will cook it with me. If she does, she does. If she doesn’t, that’s okay too. I just wish I had a little more pep in me step, so to speak. I slept okay last night. Not great. I woke up at 3:30am and couldn’t get back to sleep right away. Eventually I did, and then I overslept a little. Funny how that happens on the weekends. Tomorrow is a vacation day (not related to the presidents day holiday which post-trump I will no longer capitalize) and I am wondering if the oversleeping will happen again. Who knows. Who cares.
It’s been an hour since I ate anything which means (by gastric bypass rules) I can drink something now. I think I’ll top off my water bottle with some sugar free Crystal Light lemonade and trek down to the cellar to play some guitar. What do you think? Good plan?
Get to it, red head.
I mentioned in yesterday’s daily writing prompt post… I think it was yesterday’s at least… that I’ve been writing pointless blog posts for about 17 years. I did something today that I have never, in all that time, done before. It has to do with my dumb haikus for you’s thing.
I have a new note on my iPhone where I have already written tomorrow’s haiku for you.
I did prep work. Really. I feel so gross. Like, this page is supposed to be spontaneous brain droppings, right? Where do I get off doing prep work?
Whatever. Anyway…
I have a couple of tasks for work that I wanted to crank out this weekend. It’s 7:11pm on the final day of this glorious three day weekend and I haven’t even started them yet. What the hell is wrong with me?
I had a bad case of what my mother used to call “the hungry horrors” after lunch today. I feel like I had a full days worth of between meal snacks in the space of about 30 minutes. It turned me into a giant gas bomb that’s ready to burst at any moment. It wasn’t bad enough to ruin dinner (I didn’t eat anything for four hours prior to dinner) but it’s left me uncomfortable and distracted. Blah. I have to push through and get that work done before I go to sleep tonight. Moron.
Okay, time for Robert to buckle down.
Well, the new cat is back under the vanity. Jen tried to coax her out of the bedroom and she got spooked by a noise from the dishwasher and back to the vanity she went. I am about to go and sit with her and try and get a response. I think we just need to be patient, that’s all. She’s a good kitty but she needs time to adjust. Poor little thing.
I took my father to see my mother today. It was rough. She was completely unresponsive. He held her hand for a while but she didn’t stir, not even a little. It’s heartbreaking and gut wrenching. I miss my mom.
I haven’t done any work today. I will, but I just can’t dredge up the motivation to get anything done. My stomach is bothering me. Sometimes when I feel this way having some food straightens me out for a while, but that doesn’t seem to be working right now. Crud. Also, it’s starting to snow.
Crud.
Motivation is tough to come by right now. I woke up at 5:40am, did my 30 minutes of exercise, ate some breakfast, watched an episode of Pennyworth and a bunch of film photography youtube videos, and that’s it. It’s almost 8:00am now and motivation is sort of escaping me.
The whole getting up early to get my exercise in before anyone wakes up thing is kicking my ass. Both in the exercising sense and in the not sleeping enough sense. I kinda feel zombiesque this morning. The background music on this particular grainydays episode isn’t helping.
It’s not like I have a lot on the agenda at the moment. The kids aren’t coming until late morning so all I really have to do is take a shower and clean off the exercise sweat. I could maybe put up some more outdoor christmas lights too, but other than that and prepping some lasagna for dinner there isn’t much on the docket this morning. Really all I need to do is stand up, walk upstairs, and take a friggin’ shower. I just don’t wanna.
Oh, and yesterday I said I needed to do car music this morning or NaSoAlMo was going to die a slow, painful death. Re-read the above three paragraphs and take note of how I did not mention car music at all. Rest in Peace 2022 NaSoAlMo… we hardly new ye.
Okay… wake up, asshole. Go get some shit done.
Inside the Red Head's Head 