Rest in Peace Jim Gordon

This is one of the sadder rock and roll stories out there.

Jim Gordon has died. He was a session drummer. He played in Delany and Bonnie and Friends on the tour they did opening for Blind Faith in 1969 which lead to Eric Clapton upending his entire career. Clapton started spending his free time with members of Delany and Bonnie. Then he started sitting in with them for their sets. Then he left Blind Faith and went on tour with them. Then Delany Bramlett produced the sessions for Clapton’s first solo record, which was backed by the Friends. Then Clapton stole Gordon, Carl Radle, and Bobby Whitlock from the Friends and they all backed George Harrison for some of the All Things Must Pass sessions. Then they started playing shows to support Clapton’s solo record under the name Derek and the Dominoes. Then they moved from the UK to Miami, FL, hooked up with Duane Allman, and recorded Clapton’s best work, Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs. Then the drugs went out of control, Duane Allman died, Clapton retreated to his home in the UK to be a full time heroin addict for a few years, The Dominoes crumbled, and then I sort of lose track of Gordon’s career. I think he played in Traffic for a bit (hehe, I just re-read that… he played in Traffic… hehe) but I believe he mostly went back to playing sessions.

Then he murdered his mother and spent the rest of his life in a mental institution. Now he has passed away.

The guy could play. He was fantastic. Listen to his drum solo on Let it Rain from the Derek and the Dominoes In Concert record. It’s magic. His mental health problems were terrible and from a purely musical point of view, they resulted in a tremendous waste of talent.

Rest in Peace, Jim Gordon. Your suffering is at an end.

Planning

My mother passed away on Sunday. On Monday, my brother and sister and I met with the funeral director. He gave us a packet of homework. We need to pick readings and music and some other things related to the funeral service. I didn’t do much on Tuesday or Wednesday. We’ve had some discussions on things over text but nothing concrete from me. I am getting back into the swing of it tonight. We bought a suit for my father on Monday. We’re (Jen and I) going to him tonight to let him try it on. It’s probably not going to fit very well, but hopefully it’s close enough. After that, we’re having a meeting to go over the homework. Speaking as an Atheist, I don’t have a lot of interest in the readings that happen during the mass. I’ll give my $0.02 but I might have more input on the music. There is one song that was played at my grandmother’s funeral that brought my mother to tears. That one will be included. They played it at my Aunt’s funeral a few months ago as well, for exactly the same reason.

It might be a mildly long night tonight. We’ll see. I am working today and need to try and have actual food for dinner at some point. I’ve been so dependent on protein bars and supplements for the last few weeks that I expect my stomach to start rebelling at any moment. I just had eggs for breakfast and I hope to have some chicken for lunch. Dinner… we’ll see.

With all of this going on I am starting to think that my RPM Challenge success streak is in jeopardy. Not that that matters at all. I am, however, about to finish season one, episode three of Star Trek Picard. Maybe I should have been working on some recording instead of watching TV. Forgive me, I am a little screwed up right now. Working on Tuesday and Wednesday was a little tough but the normalcy felt pretty good after the insanity of the last couple of weeks. I’m working from home today and tomorrow and then taking three days of bereavement time on Monday through Wednesday next week. I am allowed to take five days, but I don’t want to. I was even hesitant about taking the third day, but I think it will come in handy, mental health wise.

Okay, it’s time to start getting ready for work. Wish me luck today.

55 Years

Today is my parents’ 55th wedding anniversary. On this day in the summer of love, 1967, those two crazy kids got hitched. They are not currently living in the same facility. Dad is in an assisted living place in Billerica and Mom is in a nursing facility in Andover. It’s devastating. Any time I visit Mom I try to call Dad so they can connect a little, but my Mother mostly doesn’t get what’s going on and it fails. Dad was insistent that he see her today, rightly so, and my brother is taking him. My brother saw Mom yesterday and it sounds like it was a pretty rough day for her. The fear is that the same thing will happen today and it will some how make things worse for both parents. When I try to pretend I am an optimist, I try to envision something in Mom’s head snapping into focus when she sees Dad. Fingers crossed. Really hoping something like that happens. Seriously.

Anyway, 55 years is a huge number. Do me a favor and take a second to wish my folks a happy anniversary. Maybe some happy vibes from the electronic universe will help them connect today. Wouldn’t that be great?

Lunch Break

I have nothing to say right now. It’s felt like a long day, but it really hasn’t been. It’s one of those days.

I just had 2.9 ounces of tuna fish for lunch. Isn’t that special? I’m up to 59 grams of protein for the day. The goal is 60 grams and I still have dinner to go. Sweet. I am feeling like I am on top of things today.

I want to play my guitar. I want the mental boost that I used to get from junk food to come from music, but there is so little time in the day. I want to play but I want to spend time with my family more. The band will help, but I don’t think I can try to get the band happening again until my parents are settled. I hope that will be soon, but who knows.

I’ve been having this thought go through my head about maybe starting a second band. I absolutely want Lizardfish to go on with the same four guys for the rest of time. I absolutely love playing in that band. It’s absurd how much fun it is. I was thinking of a second band that would play only original music, like we did back in the 90’s. I think I would like to do that, but I don’t think I would like to do the work to put it together, and I also don’t think I would like to be the only person contributing songs. So I doubt it will ever happen.

I thought that maybe I might want to start pretending to be a photographer again. I thought about sunrise pictures at the ocean. Could it happen this weekend? Probably not. The 10 day forecast calls for clouds for the next 10 days. There goes that idea. Maybe we could take a stroll through the Methuen Bird Sanctuary one of these weekends and see if we could catch a pic or two of some eagles. I don’t know.

Okay. Lunch break is over. Back to it, red head.

Been a While

It’s been almost a month since I played my guitar. It’s starting to effect my mental health.

At least I think it is. The lack of playing combined with the daily construction combined with the approaching surgery combined with the approaching lifetime of dietary and lifestyle changes that follow the surgery have all contributed to my current mental state. Given that information it’s hard to say if the guitar is all that big a part of the stressedness.

I think it is. I need to play.

Super Stressed

Between the weight loss stuff and work and the kitchen remodel and Covid and my mother being in the hospital, I am super stressed. I feel like a rubber band that’s stretched out as far as it can go.

I need to punch in to work at 9:00, go to 3-4 meetings until noon, then go sit with my mother. I am going to be balls to the wall all day until they kick me out of the hospital room. Then I’ll come home and see the latest in the kitchen. That will relax me a bit. The contractor could be finished today. The other contractor will be finished tomorrow. Then it’s time to get into the pre-fab stuff. The contractor/Covid/Stranger-in-my-house-during-a-global-pandemic stress will be gone, but the building and hanging kitchen stuff will replace it.

If I seem a little punch drunk over the next week or two, all that combined is why.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

It Hits the Fan Tomorrow

I haven’t started freaking out yet, but I expect I will shortly. Or maybe not. I don’t know.

My for really reals first weight loss surgery appointment is tomorrow morning. I took the first half of the day off so that I can freak out, go to the Zoom meeting, and then cry and freak out again. Like, my whole morning is scheduled.

Then again, maybe the fact that I haven’t freaked out yet is a sign that I am for really reals ready to do this. It’s going to suck, and it’s going to suck for months and months, but as far as my health is concerned it’s the right thing to do, right? Right.

I don’t know what to expect. It’s safe to assume I will have a million questions and when the Doc asks me if I have any questions I will completely blank out and not be able to think of anything. Safe bet that prediction is going to come true. We’ll see tomorrow though.

Blah

Not sure what the deal is tonight but I find myself feeling really low. I was fine a couple of hours ago but right now I’m feeling pretty shitty mental healthily speaking.

I can probably blame it on Covid. I can pretty much blame every unhappy feeling on the ‘Rona, but I’m not sure that’s good enough.

Is it the imminent arrival of yet another locked down holiday? Is it work stress? I had a project on my to-do list this morning that I really wanted to get through but I ended up being so busy with other stuff that I spent exactly zero seconds working on it.

Is it the weather? Is it the calendar? I guarantee it’s not the love of my life who is sleeping next to me as I type this useless shit. I do miss the kids, but that feeling is always with me and whatever is bothering me tonight is on top of that.

I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. Or I won’t. Think I’ll listen to some music for a few and then go to sleep.

Sigh

Yesterday was Monday and somehow I was feeling optimistic about the state of the universe. Today is Tuesday and… sigh. Something about tomorrow being the start of December is messing me up today. I’m not sure exactly why, but it’s probably Covid-19 and holiday related. We’re not getting a normal Christmas for the second year in a row, which implies that our Covid Christmas is actually now the normal. Shit.

I had three projects to do at work in less than two weeks. I picked off one of them yesterday and was feeling pretty good about the state of things. Now, simply because it’s the next day, I am feeling a little defeatist about the remaining two. Why? Where is my rational brain hiding? Come out and play, brain. Pretty please?

I took the barrels out to the street this morning. The barrels are full to bursting, partly with Thanksgiving detritus, but they’ve spent the whole week in the new little shed thing so the squirrels weren’t able to get at them. 10 minutes after I took the barrels to the street I looked out the window and saw a squirrel sitting on the barrel snacking on some stuff. Sigh.

Okay. Time to punch in to work. Here’s hoping the state of the universe improves a little. Fingers crossed, folks.

Kids Come Tomorrow

It’s Thursday. Work days today and tomorrow and then tomorrow evening the kids come home for a week. Kick ass, dude.

The house is ready. Everything is clean and tidy and set for us to trick them into believing that I magically stopped being a slob over the last few months. I am sure this will fool ’em good.

We get them this weekend, then Dad gets them on Monday and Tuesday, then we get them on Wednesday and Thursday (Thanksgiving), then Dad gets them the weekend after Thanksgiving and then they go back to Vermont. We’ll be right back to the pre-college schedule as if nothing ever happened.

I fear I am going to be in a crummy mood today. I let shit get to me last night and I haven’t gotten past it yet. Rest assured, I am going to be as happy as the proverbial pig in shit come Friday evening. I am really excited to see both of them again.

Oh yeah, I have to move the office chair I was using in Harry’s room to the cellar. He has his own chair and doesn’t need two in his room. Don’t forget, you fat dumb ass loser piece of shit. Get ‘er done, as the saying goes.

Okay, it’s 8:53am so I am going to sign in to work. I have a meeting to go to and a potentially stressful issue from yesterday to get caught up on. Happy Thursday, ya maniacs!