Tag: dad

Starting to Get Nervous

The nervousness is creeping up on me.

No details will be forthcoming, but we have an appointment with my father’s doctor today. It will be Dad, the doctor, my brother, my sister, and me. There is a potential for some difficult conversation about my father’s care going forward. There isn’t anything wrong right now, but it’s just day to day stuff that might need to be adjusted, and those adjustments might lead to some tough talk.

The appointment is about 2.5 hours from now. I have some errands to run (I might share the source of those later because it’s a “funny” story) and then I have to go and pick up my dad.

Stay calm, Robert. It will be okay.

One Year

We lost my mother one year ago today. After years and years of dementia she was finally free of all of her physical pain and mental confusion. Would she see it as release the way we hope she would? I have no idea.

I got to spend a little time with my father tonight. He was mostly okay, but he’s having an annoying, persistent health issue of his own that flared up quite a bit yesterday and sent him briefly to the ER. He’s fine, he just needs to do what the doctors tell him to do. When he does, he improves. He just doesn’t do it enough. Insert the frustrated sigh here. 

Now that I am home I have spent the last 15-20 minutes asking Google Bard to generate images of Jedi Knights in goofy situations like being a contestant on The Bachelor, riding a tiger, or watching a baseball game. I feel like I’ve found my new favorite internet hobby.

No music progress today. It’s getting close to bed time and I haven’t accomplished anything. Well… I picked off a few things at work today, which was nice. Just no musical accomplishments, that’s all. There is also a zombie movie that I want to watch tonight so that I can listen to a podcast discussing it on the drive to work tomorrow. 

So many things to do.

2023 50/90 Challenge Days 23 & 24/90

Not much to report on the song writing challenge front over the last two days. Day 23 was Wednesday and I didn’t do anything. Day 24 was yesterday, Thursday, and I didn’t get shut out but I also didn’t do much. I wanted to do a car music and track some vocals and maybe get a mix or two in and maybe write some lyrics but instead all I did was add two new song ideas. Just a couple of bass lines and a drum groove. All midi. I’m a little disappointed in myself for two days with very little progress, but the weekend is almost here and I am hoping to get a ton of music in (as well as more photography goofiness). Jen has plans to work on a project this weekend, so I will dedicate myself to a project or two as well. Harry will be paying a visit too so I will dedicate however much time he is here to him. I also want to visit my father on Saturday. It’s his anniversary, and the first since my mother passed. It’s going to be very sad and I don’t know if I am up for it. Mother’s day was rough but I fear this is going to be rougher.

So now we’re up to date on (more than) the current music project.

Easter Dinner

Jen and I just got home from having Easter Dinner (which was actually at lunch time) with my father. My sister’s family was there too. My brother was with his in-laws today so he couldn’t make it.

Dinner was lovely (choice of lamb or ham, I went with the lamb). I was feeling like I had had enough and thought, I’ll have one more bite… It’s been an hour and a half and the foamies are still raging. Stupid one last bite.

Up next for me is an MRI appointment over at the hospital formerly known as Saints Memorial in Lowell. Having a medical appointment on easter just tickles me. Come, giggle with me.

Jen and I are also looking at maybe making a change to the back yard. While we were out there on a fact finding mission I filled the bird feeders because it’s spring time, babie and that’s what you do!

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Easter

I stopped in to see Dad this morning. Just for a minute. We’re going back for lunch later. It’s our first holiday without Mom. It’s going to be tough, but we’ll get through it. After lunch I will have an MRI on my noggin’ to see if there’s anything causing these stupid migraines. After two weeks without one I had a mild one on Wednesday, and then another milder one yesterday. I’m ready for them to stop now, thank you very much.

Until then, Happy Easter, I guess.

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We Made It

We made it through the funeral and the cemetery and the after luncheon. That’s actually still going on but it’s wrapping up.

It was painful but good. We all came unglued a few times but we are all okay. My dad did great. He left the lunch a little early but he made it nearly all the way through. I’m proud of him.

Day Two

We made it through the wake last night without issue. Dad and I got there at 3:00 for the 4:00 start. I didn’t expect him to be able to hold out for long but he made it until a little before 8:00, which was the end of our time anyway. I was very proud of him.

We saw family and friends and friends of the family and many many more. The turn out to say goodbye to my mother was wonderful and heart warming. It wasn’t exactly a social event, but it made me realize how starved I’ve been for random interactions with other people over the coarse of the pandemic. Sure, Robbie the introvert was thriving stuck at home for three years, but there was definitely something missing, and I am starting to really need that something now.

The funeral is this morning. Three hours from now. I need to take a shower and get dressed and then the four of us will head out together. We need to be at the funeral home by 8:45 so that we can be in the procession to the church. The church and the cemetery are both in Tewksbury, but they are on the opposite ends of town, so there is a little drive. After the cemetery we will have a lunch at the same venue Jen and I had our wedding reception. Again, in Tewksbury. It’s going to be a Tewksbury kind of day.

Again, I am nervous even though there really isn’t anything to be nervous about. Again, I am worried about how my father will do. Last night was a long haul. I know it took a lot out of me, I can’t imagine how wiped out he’s going to be today. Whatever he needs to get through, we’ll do for him. Even if that means leaving early.

Wish us luck today. It’s going to be rough.

Suit Blues

Guess how much of dad’s suit fit. Go on, guess. Give me a percentage.

I’ll tell you… zero percent. 0%.

Everything has been returned and replaced. We’ll have another fitting in the morning. Here’s hoping it goes better and we don’t have to have another suit returning blitz.

Fingers crossed.

Getting Through the Prep Work

My brother and sister and I met last night to work on the planning for the funeral. We picked music and readings and started asking cousins to play the various parts. We have one reader but still need one more. We have three pall bearers but still need three more. We have offers out for the remaining parts and are just waiting to hear back.

Jen and I were a little late getting out of the house. I called my father to let him know we’d be late for the planned suit fitting and he said he was tired and asked if we could reschedule to tomorrow, which is now today. I put in for a couple of hours at the end of the day so that we can head over earlier. Jen is off today so it should all work out. That still gives us the weekend to replace anything we bought that doesn’t fit him. We’re still in good shape.

I’ve been really hungry the last couple of days. My meals have gotten significantly larger and I’ve had more between meal snacks. I have to assume it’s an emotional thing. The good news is that yesterday I had actual food with every meal. I had protein supplements along with each meal, but that was just to make sure I hit my goal. Eggs for breakfast and chicken for lunch and dinner. I also had peanuts as snacks instead of protein bars. It wasn’t a lot of snack-level protein intake, but it felt pretty good to do it that way.

No music last night. Not sure if tonight will be any different. I am 2/5 of the way through Star Trek Picard season 1 episode 6 though. I’m more than 25% of the way through the two season rewatch with season three kicking off in six days. Probably not going to make it unless I do an alarmingly intense binge over the weekend. Of course The Mandalorian season three kicks off on March 1st. Can I follow the two season Picard rewatch with a 2+ season Mandalorian rewatch by 3/1? (2+ seasons due to the two episodes where The Mandalorian hijacked The Book of Boba Fett, right?)

Right then. Time to start getting ready for work. Talk to you later. Parents, tell your kids you love them. Kids, tell your parents you love them.

Scenes from a Park Bench

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I visited my father today. We had a conference call with my brother. It was a difficult talk but it was necessary and we’re all on the same page… even though it’s an awful page to be on. I’ll talk about it someday, but not quite yet.

I’m home for a quick lunch and then heading to the hospital to see my mother.