No Sugar for Me

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite candy?

There are two answers to this question for me. Favorite candy before weight loss surgery and favorite candy after weight loss surgery. When I had my insides rewired by Gastric Bypass I lost the ability to digest sugar. If I eat more than the tiniest amount my guts will reject it and I will get seriously sick for hours. Basically I will expel everything out of both ends at the same time… so just imagine that and accept that I will never eat sugar again.

So what was my favorite candy before having my guts carved up back on May 4, 2022? That’s a tough one. There are so many options. I think Snickers bars might be the traditional answer as they were often my go-to candy. M&M’s could be the answer as well. I ate a lot of plain, milk chocolate M&M’s over the decades. One other possible answer would be more of a dark horse in the race. I really liked Reeces Fast Break bars. They were fantastic. 

All of those choices could have been my favorite candy, but there was one other that probably wins out over everything. I didn’t have them often because they were only available during the xmas season. Cadbury Mini Eggs. Imagine M&M’s on steroids. Bigger, better candy shells, way better chocolate. They were like a delicacy. I had a couple of friends who felt the same way and we all used to stock up on them every holiday season. We horded them and were not ashamed to admit it. They were candy perfection to me.

Then we get to May 4, 2022 and my gastric bypass surgery. No more sugar for me. No more candy for me. Or was there? There are a few sugar free candies out there. I find myself drawn mostly to sugar free cookies and pudding cups, but I have been stock piling a couple of candies. Reeces makes a sugar free bite sized peanut butter cup and they are wonderful. Are they as good as the real thing? Probably not. Are they good enough for me in the new world? Yes, yes they are. I think they get my vote for my current favorite candy. A very close second is bite sized sugar free Hershey bars. They are excellent too. There is also a caramel filled sugar free Hershey bites that are excellent but my digestive system sometimes expresses displeasure the day after I eat sugar free caramel. It’s not bad and I am not going to boycott caramel, I just try to make sure I only eat it when I am going to be home the next day. I don’t think things will get that unpleasant, but I’ll error on the side of caution, you know?


Hey Google Bard, generate a photo of a Jedi Knight eating candy.

Litter

In between contractor consults we did something huge. Something… Earth shattering. Not for us, but for the cats.

We have replaced the two litter boxes with one new box. The Earth shattering part? It’s a self cleaning, automatic litter box thing.

It has an app. A litter box app. Literally a shit app. It told us that one of the cats has used the box. Based on weight we are guessing it was Robin. 

We are going to know everything about our two cats’ bathroom behaviors.

Like I said, Earth shattering.

Give Me a Break

Daily writing prompt
Do you need a break? From what?

Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that kit-kat bar.

You deserve a break today at McDonalds.

I hate myself for typing the two previous lines.

Do I need a break? Yes. Of course I need a break. Who, living in the American capitalistic rat race (see the first two lines of this post), doesn’t? I need a break from work, from stress, from guilt, from pain, from thought (sort of), from… well… life. Take me and my wife and my step kids and put us on a plane heading west. Drop us off in San Diego, CA right on the shore of the Pacific ocean and let us flake together for a few weeks. 

That’s the kind of break I need. Just leave us alone and let us… be. Just for a little while.


Hey Google Bard, generate an image of a Jedi Knight relaxing by the shore of the Pacific ocean…

I asked for a Jedi and it gives me red light sabers? I don’t recall asking for a Sith Lord, thank you very much. Oh well. Close enough for a Wednesday morning.