Category: Family

Stress

Why is it that missing a day of work makes things 100 times more stressful when you return the next day? I was out Friday and it seems like nothing really happened in my absence, but here we are today and I am stressing out over every tiny detail?

I thought this week would be a normal two-days-in-the-office week but now it’s three. I have three pieces of paperwork that I need to have done by (probably) Thursday. It should be super simple. In fact, there were four pieces of paperwork and I’ve already cranked out one of them. I’m freaking out over the remaining three though. Why? I have time off booked for Monday and Tuesday next week. I thought they were going to be music days, but now will the be spent with dad in the hospital? I don’t know. Maybe. Part of the time at least.

Seriously. Stop freaking out over nothing, Robert. You’ve got this shit covered. You can handle it. Stop stressing. Work is okay. Dad is going to be okay. Calm down and just get it done like you always do.

I think I might just be reacting to being sad that Bellana left for Vermont this morning. No clue when we’re going to see either kid again. I’m guessing that’s the real root of my struggles with this particular Monday.

Over all it’s not a bad day or anything, I am just stressin’ like ya do. May your Mondays be easier on the ol’ stomach, as it were.

Sunday Stuff

Lots of stuff going on today. It started with car music. I put vocals onto the four songs that were ready and then wrote the lyrics and the melodies to two more as I was recording. One of them suuuuuucks. The other might be okay.

Errands run, chores done, worry over my dad worried. I am hoping to spend some time with Bellana today before she goes back to Vermont tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been missing her visit.

Random picture time. First, my “recording studio” view. Can you believe how terrible the light is? The weather is dreadful right now.

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Next, the center of town. Clock included.

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353/365
353/365

And in closing… cats.

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That was Tough

The point of this blog is to bear my soul to the universe (no it’s not, there literally is no point to any of this) but how can I accurately do that without sharing any specific details about the current situation?

Let’s just say that it was tough today. I was at the hospital with him for a smidge more than five hours. Most of that time was quiet and uneventful. The rest? Yikes.

Being there was tough for me. I can’t even imagine how tough it was for my father who actually experienced everything.

I’m home now with my wife and my step daughter. We’re watching The Fall Guy and I’m trying not to stress over things.

Dizzying Day

The funeral was lovely. I went to a post-funeral lunch and it was nice.

I then went to the hospital and within minutes of arriving my father was moved to a new room and I had to run out to help with something that suddenly came up at home.

It has been an insane day and it’s going to continue to be insane for the foreseeable future. My step daughter is here though, so that’s good news.

Random Thoughts

The last few days have put me into a prolonged, slow burning state of freak out. Fun.

My friend’s father passed away on Monday. My father went into the hospital on Tuesday. No details on either situation will be forthcoming. We just got clobbered by a thunderstorm which, it turns out, was rough enough to knock out the power in the hospital. The backup generators kicked in a second later, but woah.

I am planning to go to the hospital after work tonight. I need to make dinner first but then I’ll go for a quick visit before visiting hours end. Tomorrow morning is the funeral. I’ll go to the hospital afterwards. How’s that for a tough day? The last few days have been bad, but tomorrow… woah.

On less important (re: not important at all) topics, I have one more episode of The Umbrella Academy’s final season to watch. I strongly suspect that once I finish that final episode I will immediately start a rewatch of the entire series from season one episode one. I think that is going to happen.

Earlier today I was looking at Threads (the twitter alternative social network made by the same assholes who make instagram and bookfayce which begs the question why the fuck am I giving this new social network site the time of day) and I posted that musically speaking, today is a Porcupine Tree kinda day (from a mental health standpoint, of course… meaning heavy and complicated and confusing if you’re not paying close attention). TWELVE MINUTES LATER I got a notification that the Porcupine Tree instagram account had been ported to Threads. They haven’t posted anything yet but I guess I should say you’re welcome?

I don’t know what the dad situation is going to be like this weekend but I do know that Bellana, my step daughter, is coming over for a visit. All the bad, scary stuff going on feels a little more bearable when the kids come by. I am really looking forward to seeing how she did at her conference this week. I want all the sciency details.

Speaking of science, from a nutritional standpoint I screwed up yesterday. I spent the whole day at the hospital with Dad and when I left the house I forgot to take my pill case with me. I took my breakfast vitamin pills before I left, and took my lunch vitamin pills when I got home for dinner. I was going to take my dinner vitamin pills before I went to sleep, but I fell asleep earlier than expected and missed that dose. Dummy. Note to self: bring the friggin’ pill case tomorrow. Dumb ass.

What else? Word from the hospital this afternoon is that Dad is starting to show early signs of coming out of whatever was wrong. My fingers and toes and eyes are all firmly crossed. Again, I am not sharing details beyond a small hint of optimism. Enjoy it while you can.

Okay, Robert. Stop stressing and get back to work. You have stuff to do. Do it.

Stressing Out

After writing about my friend’s tough day without sharing any details, I am now finding myself writing about my own stressful day without sharing any details.

There is stuff going on. I am not going to say what. I just need to tell the universe that I am trying very hard not to freak out. Yes I am an old man yelling at clouds, but what’s a red head to do besides just hang in there and hope for the best?

Yeah, I know this post doesn’t make sense. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay.

Tough Day for My Friend

Mike, the bass player in my band, is probably my oldest friend. It was 1000 years ago or so, but I believe we met in 4th grade which was probably 1980 or ’81 or so? Somewhere around there.

I am not going to share details because it’s not my place, but his family is going through something right now and I just want to wish them all my best.

I am spinning one of my favorite records by Mike’s favorite band from our high school days right now in solidarity because I don’t know what else to do and I feel like I should do something even if it is some meaningless gesture.

ADDENDUM: Rather than say that Mike is the bass player in my band, I think it is probably more correct to say that I am the guitar player in his band.

A Day to Celebrate Me

Today, August 12th, is National Middle Child Day and it’s all about me.

Lisa, my sister, was born in 1968. I was born in 1971. John, my brother, was born in 1977.

I was the baby in the family for six whole years. Six. Whole. Years. Just long enough to really get used to it. Then, as the story goes, on the day I got on the school bus for my first day of kindergarten, as the bus pulled away my mother turned to my father and asked if they could have another baby. They did.

Thus I was no longer the baby, I was now the middle child and I suffered all of the slings and arrows of misfortunate that went along with it. My sister was always in charge of everything. My brother got away with everything. I was just there in the middle getting overlooked.

Fortunately, all these years later, I finally have a day that allows me to proudly embrace my middle childhood. Sure I am a screwed up mess of a human, but at least I get a whole day. What does it really mean to be a middle child? I haven’t a clue. Click the link and read about it there.

Unrelated, today is also apparently National Vinyl Record day. So not only did I get overshadowed by my smarter, funnier, better looking siblings… I also get overshadowed by vinyl records. Okay. I get it. That’s just how it is.

You know this is all sarcasm, right? I don’t have to explicitly spell that out for everyone, do I? Wait… I think I just did. Damn it.