Pills

It’s 10:37am. Did you miss me? I usually have a morning hello post hours earlier than this.

What kept me?

Pills. Yeah, man.

No, seriously. I just filled my parents’ pill caddies for the week. There was a lot of back and forth with my brother and sister. There are pharmacy changes coming in the near future and it’s affecting how we go about filling prescriptions and two of my mother’s 10000000 scripts need to be refilled this week because there aren’t enough pills to get us through to next week. Their primary care physician (who is also my primary care physician) is on the case though. All is well.

The bathroom is the other issue today. Not in an accident way, just in a there-is-only-one-in-the-house way. It seems like every time someone needs to go really bad there is someone already in there. I’ve been toilet blocked twice today, and I toilet blocked someone else once. It’s minor chaos.

My mother just shuffled into the room and asked me if I was her son and did she actually give birth to me.

I want to go home so badly I cannot put it into words. I am so tired of neglecting my family in favor of my family, you know? I was afraid to text Harry last night but Jen let me know that he was texting her, so I snuck in a couple. It’s only been one day and I miss him so much, and missing him makes me miss Bellana even more, and missing them both makes me so upset that I am here and not with Jen because I know she feels the same way, and it’s just crushing me so much I can’t even punctuate a sentence properly and I keep writing these endless run on things that when I go back to read these at some hypothetical point in the future are going to piss me off and now I am just doing it just because I am pissed off and I want my future self to also be pissed off at my grammar shenanigans and this is stupid and I am so miserable right now I can’t deal.

I think I am going to go upstairs and try to take apart a twin bed. No reason.

Fuck.

Half Way

I mixed two songs tonight. They both kinda suck so I won’t post them. The first of the two was completed mix number 25. I have reached the halfway point of 50/90. Hooray, right? The pipeline is up to 41 songs now so I won’t have that much more to add in September. I’ll just have to finish off whatever is left. Good.

Might be Time to Leave Facebook

I’m really tired of the fascism and science denial and inability to know truth from lies on facebook. I think it’s time to bail. I am thinking about blocking everyone except Jen and the kids and the guys in the band. I’m sick of learning how stupid people in my life can be. How completely lacking in feelings or humanity so many people are when you remove the sham of direct personal interactions.

Right now I look at facebook and I just want to tell everyone there to go fuck themselves. I’m just so sick of it all. Obviously it’s not everyone, but I feel like I no longer want to worry about collateral damage, if you know what I mean.

Twitter and Instagram are the other social network services I use and they are both awful too, but so much of facebook is just bile and I think after 13 years it is time to flush away the puke.

Miserable

When I left my son today he was on the verge of tears. When I left my wife today she had just finished crying.

Now where am I when the people I care about most need me? I’m at my parents house for 24 hours, that’s where.

I am the worst parent, step or otherwise, in the universe.
I am the worst husband in the universe.
I am the worst person in the universe.

The Caravan is Rolling

Well folks, here we are. The caravan is rolling. I checked Find My on my iPhone and it shows me that Harry is traveling north on route 89. The plan was for him and his dad to leave a couple of hours ahead of us so we don’t all get stuck in the dorm room together. Covid, ya know?

We should be leaving in a moment (though I just remembered I forgot to do something for work at the end of the day yesterday and I need to do that. It’ll only take 2 minutes).

We can’t deny it anymore. We gots two college kids now.

I am so excited for him and so proud of him and I think I might explode.

It Begins

Harry is spending the night at his father’s house tonight. He just left a few minutes ago. Our nest is officially empty. I know we’re going to see him tomorrow when we help him move in, and we’re going to see Bellana too, but…

…is it Christmas break yet?