No Prep Left

Jen and I are sitting in the living room (the old one, not the new one) and I’m letting my mind wander.

Where is it wandering to?

Where do you think?

I went for my pre-surgery Covid PCR test today. I got an email saying that I had a new entry in my patient portal. I don’t speak hospital but I think it says the results were negative.

So what’s the significance of that? Apart from not having Covid, of course.

That was the last thing I had to do before the surgery. The next step is literally getting a call from the hospital telling me what time to show up.

I’m not freaking out per se. Well… not exactly. I am, but I’m okay with it. Really it’s just getting hard to focus on anything else. I’ll be doing one thing and about a third of my thought process is on my weight and the surgery instead of what I’m doing. I think that counts as a minor freak out.

Overall I feel like I’m keeping my shit together, but I’m pretty sure the next two days at work are going to be a struggle.

Lunch Break

I’ve been eating too much at lunch. I’ve been eating too much at dinner. I’ve been eating too much after dinner. The rest of the day is generally aces.

We’re six days away from the surgery. Gastric Bypass. It sounds like road construction and to a degree it is. I’ve probably said this a few times before, but as scared as I am of having my guts chopped up I am more afraid of what comes after. This isn’t just a cosmetic surgery thing where you loose tons of weight and then carry on with your life. The surgery itself is just one small part of the process. You need to follow it up by completely changing everything. That’s what’s stressing me out today. Well… that’s part of it.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. It’s the first of a series of classes where they will teach me what to do when I get home. I have to relearn how to eat and drink. I have to relearn how to prepare food. I have to relearn how to react when my guts talk to me. Miss a hint from your insides and end up praying to the porcelain god for an hour. that sort of thing. The first class covers living through the first couple of weeks. The second class is the second couple of weeks, and so on and so forth.

I’m doing my best to stay optimistic about the whole thing, but it’s getting hard to focus on the positive. It’s getting hard to focus on anything. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Until then…

Back to work.

Weigh In

I weighed myself this morning. I thought I was down something like 240 pounds. Wow! Incredible! I stepped off the scale and stepped back on and it was the same number. Holy cow, I haven’t been this light since Junior High!

That’s when I noticed I accidentally hit the English/Metric switch. Oops.

I weighed myself a third time and I was exactly at my pre-surgery goal weight. Exactly. Precisely.

I guess they can chop me up now.

Note: This was my bathroom scale. I am guessing the number would have been like five pounds higher on the hospital’s scale. I mean, I will be wearing my watch and stuff when I weigh in on the hospital scale, right?

The Next Appointment

Are you folks up for another somewhat obnoxious post about doctors appointments and irrational fear?

Good, cause here it comes.

This afternoon I have a pre-screening for the surgery, which is two weeks from today. I guess that means I am going to meet with the anesthesiologist and he/she’s going to calculate how much knock out juice it’s going to take to put my gigantic king-kong sized ass out for 90 minutes or so. I’m guessing whatever it is they’ll use, it’s going to take a lot.

The timing is going to be funky. The hospital is 24 minutes away and they had to reschedule the appointment for 30 minutes after I get out of work. I’m going to have to split the second after my sick time kicks off. We’re going to be cutting it close.

After that I think I need to get my haircut because if I don’t I’m going to look like Cousin It come surgery day.

On the cellar front, fingers crossed the floor is wrapped up today. We have some furniture being delivered over the weekend. We don’t need everything to be finished by then, but it would make things easier. If everything works out, I may have an office to work from down there by next week. Just in time to go away for a month.

Am I freaking out? Maybe a little. I would say on a scale from 1-100 my freak out level is about a 33 and slowly but steadily increasing.

Duck and cover, kids.


Surgery is in 16 days and I am stressing a little. Not about the surgery itself, but about some things that go along with it.

I need to book a Covid-19 test three days before the surgery. They gave me a few clinics I can go to. I spent a lot of time on the phone with two of them today, trying to schedule a test, and never spoke to a human. Jen reminded me that today is a state holiday in Massachusetts, so that might be why. Still… if you’re not home today, add that to your voice message.

I haven’t had caffeine since February 3rd (I think). I haven’t missed it. Even last Wednesday when I did my 38 hour sleep-free stretch, I was never wishing I could have some caffeine. I am today though. I am jonzing go-juice in a big way. I’m exhausted and I could really use a little help staying focused. I can’t though. I can never have caffeine again.

I do have one little piece of good news, surgically speaking. I checked the documentation they gave me to see what restrictions there are on lifting things immediately post-op. It says not to lift anything over 25 pounds for six weeks after the surgery. Why is that important to me? The average weight of a Gibson Les Paul is around 10 pounds. That’s a ton in the guitar world, but it’s far below my limit. Sigh of musical relief.

Doctor’s Appointment Day

When I met with the psychologist he told me that I would know I’m coming to the end of things when they book a second meeting with the surgeon. This afternoon I have my second meeting with the surgeon. I thought I would book a surgery date after this, but I already have a date so there’s no mystery left.

Well… I don’t exactly know what we’re going to discuss today. I can speculate, but why bother. I know I am still not at my pre-surgery goal weight, but I still have a couple of weeks to go.

The main difference between today and all of the other appointments is that I am not even a little bit nervous. Likely that will change as the time gets closer. We’ll have to see.

I’ll let you all (and by you all I mostly mean my future self as I look through all of this stuff years from now) know how it goes.

Shit is About to Get Real

I just had my Zoom call with the dietician. Woah boy, here it comes.

Insurance requires me to have sign off from a psychologist, a cardiologist, and a dietician. I already had psych and cardiology. The psychologist* told me that I would know things are close when they scheduled a second meeting with the surgeon.

The call I had today said the next step is a second meeting with the surgeon.

I have the dietician’s sign off.

Holy shit. This thing could actually be happening. Still zero clue on a timeline, but the thing I was told would be the sign that surgery is imminent is the next thing I have to do.

In the immortal words of the guy from Quantum Leap:

Woah boy.

*Should I be capitalizing the names of the departments? Should I be capitalizing psychologist when I am referring to a specific psychologist without using his/her/their name? Grammar is a bitch, you know?

Getting Close

It seems contrary to everything else, but during this period of preparing myself for weight loss surgery I have avoided weighing myself too often. At my first consultation appointment they gave me a goal weight. They wanted me to drop 5% of my tonnage in order to make the surgery a little easier to perform. I have my second appointment with the dietician tomorrow so I figured today would be a good day to step on the scale.

If the rudimentary math skills I acquired during my days earning my Bachelors Degree are correct, I have lost about 4.2% of my initial bulk. I don’t feel any different, but my jeans do feel a smidge looser. I haven’t been doing a very good job with all of the things the dietician asked me to do during our first meeting. I have been trying to implement new things one at a time so that I don’t drive myself nuts and lash out against it by eating the whole town. Unfortunately, one of the things I started working on was really difficult and took me a while to get used to. Then we spent two weeks without a kitchen. I’m trying to track my meals but I’ve failed the last few days.

I don’t expect that tomorrow’s meeting with the dietician will clear me for surgical take off, but I am hoping it won’t be too long before I get the okay. I am thinking another month, but not being a dietician and never having been through this before, how the hell would I know? It doesn’t really matter though. The point is I am getting closer. I feel pretty good about that.

Non-Lunch Post

We’re coming to the end of another work day spent in the office. How many more will there be at this desk? I don’t know. A few, probably.

It’s been a hectic and stressed out day. I’m not sure how, but I managed to do everything right as far as the weight loss surgery prep steps are concerned. I’m up to date on my vitamins (still have one more to take with dinner), and I tracked all of my food, and I stopped drinking more than 15 minutes before eating, and I didn’t drink again for over an hour after eating.

My exercise ring is half closed. That’s due to the long walk from the car to my desk, and the long walk from my desk to the kitchenette and back, and the long walk from my desk to the bathroom and back. I think wearing a mask contributes to the increased heart rate as well, but I don’t have proof of that.

The building recently switched from masks required in all common areas to masks optional for vaccinated folks. I think it’s too soon for that, but I have to deal with it. My mask was on in all common areas but I was in the minority. Will peer pressure eventually remove my mask? I don’t think so but I can’t say for sure. The Covid numbers are way down for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I would like to take approximately 1/6,893,000th of the credit for that. At least that much. I kept my mask on and kept those around me safe from the virus that I don’t have. That’s not sarcasm. That’s honesty. Wear your effing mask.

Anyway, I was able to eat lunch today, but I was not really able to take a lunch break. That’s why there’s no lunch post from today, and that’s why I titled this post the way I did.

I might look into a new theme for this page. It might be time. Maybe something black and gloomy. Yeah, that would be cool. Black and gloomy is tight.

Now I need to get my exhausted ass home so I can eat dinner with the love of my life, check out how far the paint job got while I was out, watch the new episode of Star Trek Picard, and then finally get some of that sleep that I didn’t get any of last night.

Almost quittin’ time, babie!