Tag: nhl playoffs

NHL STanley Cup Playoffs Predictions – Round Two

Dude, you literally just said you weren’t going to do a predictions post until the Canadian Division’s first round was over, Yeah, well I say a lot of things that don’t come true, don’t I.

I will add an addendum to this after the Maple Leafs beat the Canadiens, because we all know that the Maple Leafs are going to beat the Canadiens. I will review all of my picks, and my coin flip picks, as they stand now and when the Canadiens are eliminated (likely sometime tonight) I’ll finalize everything. The second round is going to start tonight though so I should do something before then and this is it.

Let’s review 7/8ths of the first round and see how I did. Also, remember that in all but the East Division I made my pick and flipped a coin, so let’s also see how the coin is doing.

First, the East Division.

The Penguins and the Islanders. I picked the Penguins because I hate New York and the Penguins lost because I hate the Penguins and apparently they hate me right back. The Islanders won and I am officially 0-1.

The Capitals and the Bruins. I picked the Bruins but I thought it would be a tough series. It started out pretty tough with overtime in the first three games, but now that it’s over we have to ask ourselves if the Capitals ever really had a chance. I picked the Mighty Mighty Bruins and the Mighty Mighty Bruins won! WOOHOO! I am now 1-1.

Next up is the North Division.

The Maple Leafs vs the Canadiens. Winner still TBD, and by TBD I mean the Leafs are likely going to murderize the Habs in game six tonight. Until they make it official, I am still 1-1 and the coin flip is nil-nil.

The Oilers and the Jets. You know, dumbass, you literally said you wanted to pick the upset on this series but nooooo, you went and picked the higher seed. The stupid coin flip picked the same and we both look stupid, We picked the Oilers and the Jets won in a four game sweep. Smooth move, ex-lax. I am now 1-2 and the coin flip is 0-1.

On to the West division. Have you noticed that I forgot to do the Central? I sure did. Looking at my previous post I went and scrolled right over them to get to Canada. I’ll double back in a minute.

The Avalanche vs The Blues. I picked the Avs. The coin picked the Blues. One of us was right and one of us was wrong. The Avalanche won in a four game sweep. I picked the Avalanche. The coin picked the Blues. I was right. It was wrong. Suck it, Blues and suck it, coin. I am now 2-2 and the coin is a pathetic 0-2.

The Golden Knights vs The Wild. This series has the honor of being the first hockey I watched this season that didn’t have the Bruins on the ice, and that was last night. I picked Vegas and Vegas won and I was right. The coin picked the Wild and the Wild lost and the coin was wrong. I am now 3-2 and the coin is a shameful 0-3.

Oh hey look, it’s the Central Division. Remember them?

The Hurricanes and the Predators. The coin and I both picked the Whale and we were both correct because the Whale won it in six games. I am now 4-2 and the coin is on the board at last at 1-3.

The Panthers and the Lightning. I went with the upset and picked the Lightning. The coin did as well, though I don’t think its choice was based on the same logic. I think its choice was based on randomness or some shit. The Lightning won, regardless of the reason. I am now 5-2 and the coin is 2-3.

So I had a pretty good first round. If the Leafs win I go 6-2. If they lose I’m still a decent 5-3. I can live with that. I usually have really bad luck in the second round though, so all the more reason for the Leafs to win. If the Leafs win the coin will be an even 3-3 which is exactly how this is supposed to go, right?

Now for the second round… well, 3/4 of the second round at least.

As always, we start with the East Division…

No. 3 Boston Bruins vs No. 4 New York Islanders: Can you guess who I’m picking? Go on, guess. Let me give you a hint. I hate everything about all New York sports teams. You still can’t guess? Okay, another hint. I live in Boston and once held partial season tickets to the Bruins and I am currently wearing a Boston Bruins t-shirt and if you cut me I would literally bleed black and gold. Still can’t guess? Are you serious? Okay, I’ll make my pick. The Bruins will win. Hopefully quickly and easily, but more likely it’ll be six or seven games. The Islanders scare me, and not just because they are from the effin’ New York.

In the Central, because I didn’t forget all about them this time…

No. 1 Carolina Hurricanes vs No. 3 Tampa Bay Lightning: I’m not sure who to pick here. Do I go with the higher seed or the team that was unstoppable last year? I don’t know. Okay, I am going to pick the Lightning even though the idea of the Bruins facing them in round three yet again is kinda horrifying. No, I’m sticking to my gut and picking the Lightning to win. How about the coin flip? Heads for higher seed, tales for lower. The coin picks the Lightning too.

Go West, young man…

No 1. Colorado Avalanche vs No 2. Vegas Golden Knights: I want to say that this is a tough choice, and I guess on some level it is… but I’m pretty sure Colorado is going to win the Cup this year, so I am picking the Avs to win. Does our friend the coin flip agree? No. It disagrees. The coin picks Vegas and watch that son of a bitch be right. Stupid coin.

And finally the North division which isn’t even set yet…

Somebody vs No. 3 Winnipeg Jets: How about I make two picks for this round. One if the Leafs win and won if the Canadiens win. That sounds good. Then I don’t have to worry about the backlash when I pick later. Okay. I don’t think there is any doubt that the Maple Leafs are the team to beat in Canada. If the Maple Leafs advance to the second round they will win. If Montreal advances, Winnipeg will spank their asses the way Toronto should have, and the Jets will win. For Mr Coin Flip, if the Leafs advance they are the higher seed so heads is the Leafs. In that case the coin picks the Leafs. If Montreal wins they are the lower seed so the Jets would be heads. Should I do a separate flip or use the first flip? Screw it, I’ll use a separate flip. It’s my friggin’ blog post, I can make any stupid rules I want. It’s tails, so if the Canadiens advance, the Canadiens will win.

So there you have it. I technically don’t need to add an addendum after the Maple Leafs dismember the Canadiens tonight (or in game seven, if needed, but most likely tonight), but I probably will anyway.

The second round starts tonight with the Islanders at the Bruins at 8:00pm. Go Bruins! Stanley Cup or bust!

NHL Stanley Cup Quarterfinals Predictions – Round One

Here’s the thing about the NHL this season. I didn’t watch a single game outside of the East Division. There are 12 teams in the playoffs this year that I know literally nothing about. Here’s how I am going to handle it, predictions wise. For the East it is business as usual. For the other three divisions, I am going to make a gut feeling pick based mostly on the standings, but I am also going to make a coin flip pick. After the first round is over, I’ll compare the two and see how it went.

First, though, the East Division…

No. 1 Pittsburgh Penguins vs No. 4 New York Islanders: The Islanders have two strikes against them and the Penguins only have one. The Islanders are from New York (BOO!) and I have no faith in them at all. Two strikes. The Penguins’ only strike is that they are the friggin’ Penguins and I really hate the friggin’ Penguins. Still, I gotta pick them for this round. Pittsburgh will win.

No. 2 Washington Capitals vs No. 3 Boston Bruins: So there I was, at the trade deadline thinking, Taylor Hall? Really? He’s not going to put us over the top. He’s no winner. Well… I might have to stand here corrected. I am standing here beside myself corrected. I hope. My heroic, triumphant Boston Bruins have had a few clunkers of late, but I see them steam rolling the Caps in the first round. Please please please please please don’t make me eat those word too. Boston will win.

Next, the Central Division…

No. 1 Carolina Hurricanes vs No. 4 Nashville Predators: Not much doubt about this one, even without knowing anything about the two teams. I say Carolina wins this one. The coin flip (heads for the higher seed) says Carolina wins too.

No. 2 Florida Panthers vs No. 3 Tampa Bay Lightning: I’m picking the upset here. Probably because I am still thinking of the Lightning in terms of last season. I say Tampa Bay wins. The coin flip also says Tampa Bay wins. Weird.

On to the North Division…

No. 1 Toronto Maple Leafs vs No. 4 Montreal Canadiens: I hate the Montreal Canadiens with every fiber of my being. I hate them I hate them I hate them. Also, Toronto doesn’t have to play Boston in the first round so they won’t automatically lose again. I say Toronto wins, and probably wins the next round too. The coin flip says Toronto wins too. Is the coin like, reading my mind? Spooky.

No. 2 Edmonton Oilers vs. No. 3 Winnipeg Jets: I could maybe try a spoiler here too but I won’t. I say Edmonton wins (and probably pretty easily too). The coin says Edmonton wins too. Okay, this is starting to creep me out now.

Finally, the West Division where I will once again just pick the higher seed.

No. 1 Colorado Avalanche vs. No. 4 St. Louis Blues: Hey St. Louis, I got your Stanley Cup right here! (imagine me making a very rude hand gesture) You buncha jerkies. I’m not picking the Blues because I’m still pissed off about the last time. Also because I have a sneaking suspicion that the Avs are going to have a parade this year. They might get to do some on ice celebrating, possibly in Toronto. Hashtag foreshadowing. I say Colorado wins. The coin says St. Louis wins because the coin is an asshole. At least we finally have one where we didn’t pick the same team. Hey coin, I got your randomness right here! (imagine me making a very rude hand gesture)

No. 2 Vegas Golden Knights vs. No. 3 Minnesota Wild: Did you know that Minneapolis, MN is the only city outside of Boston, MA where I’ve attended an NHL game? Think that will lead me to pick them to win this series? Think again. I say Vegas wins. The coin, however, says that Minnesota wins. We shall see, Mr. Coin… we shall see.

There you have it, my first round playoff predictions for this the second 2021 playoff season which is also the second Covid-19 playoff season.

Go Bruins.

Bruins First Round Matchup

The Bruins still have one more game in their regular season, but with their win over the Islanders last night they locked up their final spot in the standings. They will go into the playoffs as #3 in the division, and their first round matchup is already set.

They will play Washington, starting Saturday night.

Washington scares me a lot, but really so do all of the teams in the division. Except Buffalo, I guess. The sad part of the series is that they have to play against former captain Zdeno Chara. That’s kinda sad. Not that sad though. He was our captain last year, this year he’s the enemy. I hope they mop the ice with the ancient bastard.

Go Bruins.

Game Sevens

I feel like we’re missing out. The Bruins were unceremoniously bounced from the NHL playoffs in game five of their second round series. All of the other series have gone to game seven. All three of them. I’m listening to Dallas/Colorado right now and I think I just heard them mention that all of the remaining three series had a team come back from being down three games to one to force their game seven.

As mentioned, Dallas/Colorado is happening as I type this (it’s 2-1 Avs in the first intermission). Vancouver/Vegas is tonight at 9:00pm (Eastern time, as always). Islanders/Flyers play tomorrow at 7:30pm. It’s still possible for these jerks to make my predictions look good. I think I need the Avalanche, the Golden Knights, and the Flyers to win, which would put me at 3-1 for the playoff round. I’d trade it all for another Bruins game though.

#sadface

The Bruins are Out

The Bruins are out, the Red Sox are historically awful, we lost our entire Spring to the Covid shut down, and now that it’s September 1st we have also lost our Summer.

I listened to a little bit of the second period. I heard the Bruins score their first goal. That was nice. I watched some of the third period. I shut it off because I just couldn’t bear it (pun kind of intended). I have to say that after the game three slaughter my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I was keeping an eye on the score. I saw it go to overtime. I saw it go to double overtime. I was asleep when it ended.

Summer is about to end. Lock down is not about to end. That math sucks. I feel like Covid-19 may have cost the Bruins a Cup this year. It definitely cost Pastrnak a 50 goal season. I know a lot of fans will pin this on Tuukka. Not me. He did the right thing.

Everything sucks. My epic binge watch of Agents of Shield just reached the episode where Bobby and Hunter leave. Those two actors got shafted. They left the show to get a spin off of their own, only to have the spin off cancelled before it went into production. That story fits in nicely with the general vibe of 2020, doesn’t it.

I want my summer back. I want my hockey season back too.

The Long Way Home

For the second day in a row I did some car vocals. Last night I wrote up lyrics for five more songs, all while watching The Bruins let game two slip away. I thought they were going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat as Tampa Bay completely outplayed them, but no such luck. The Lightning took it in overtime.

So I had five more songs ready for bad singing and I drove to the movie theater again and cranked ’em out. There were no weird spectator moments like yesterday, but I did manage to wrap it up quickly (simply by choosing to not add harmony parts to one of the songs) so I decided to take the long way home.

361/365
This used to be the high school. Now it’s city hall. We have a nice, gigantic, city hall.
I asked the barrel to move. It ignored me. I yelled at it. It continued to ignore me.
Obligatory

NHL Stanley Cup Predictions

You are all really impressed with my hockey playoff predicting skills. Six of eight in the first round, two of four in the second round (boo), and now two of two in the third round!

I picked the Penguins over the Lightning even though I hate the damn Penguins and I was right. I picked the Sharks over the Blues because Joe Thornton is winning the cup this year.

That’s 10 out of 14, I think. Let me do the math again… 6+2+2=10 and 8+4+2=14. Yes, 10/14. That’s 71.4%.

Now for the Stanley Cup finals. I think I gave my prediction away two paragraphs ago. When the playoffs started I said the Sharks were going to win the cup. Then after the first round I backed off a little and said they’d get to the Cup but they might lost to Washington. After the second round I doubled down on the original prediction. San Jose, Stanley Cup or Bust!

Joe Thornton was the first overall pick of the Boston Bruins in 1997 and then they traded him away to San Jose in the middle of his MVP season. It’s the second worst trade in Bruins history. At least the second worst that I know of. Only the Seguin for a bag of pucks trade was worse.

Then in San Jose Thornton played for a string of great teams that I always picked to win it but who choked their seasons away during the early rounds. I vowed never to pick them again. Then the Bruins puked away their season yet again and I was pissed off enough to pick San Jose.

And now here we are, with Joe Thornton and the Sharks poised to play against the Penguins. I hate the Penguins. I loathe the Penguins. Last round I picked with my head instead of my heart and I felt scummy every second of every game. Now my head and my heart are in sync and I get to pick against the effin’ Penguins again, and it feels good.

So I say the Sharks win it all, and Jumbo Joe Thornton finally gets his drink from the Stanley Cup.

Game one is tomorrow.

GO SHARKS!

San Jose Sharks Clarification

The Bruins have already won their first round series, and they already know they will be playing Montreal in round two. Game one is tomorrow night.

The first round will come to an end tonight after the completion of three game sevens. New York and Philadelphia, Colorado and Minnesota, and the game I want to talk about right now, San Jose and Los Angeles.

I beat on the San Jose Sharks a lot. One of my golden rules for playoff predictions is to always pick against the Sharks. One might think it’s because I hate them. No, that is not the case. In fact, I think they are awesome. During the regular season, in the days before the last lock out, I would often find myself dialing in Sharks games on the radio (by radio I mean iPad) when I couldn’t fall asleep at night.

Why then do I give them such a hard time? Simple. Playoff history. There was a stretch 5-10 years ago where I picked them to at least make the Western Finals if not win the Stanley Cup every year. They were a powerhouse. They owned the West during the regular season, year after year. They were awesome to watch. Then the playoffs would come and they would turtle and get their asses whooped by some clearly inferior team and I would have a big black mark on my playoff predictions.

At some point along the way I instigated the Sharks doctrine. Now I only pick them to win a series when their opponent is supremely awful. More often than not, when I pick against them I am picking right.

It just so happens that this year they matched up with the Kings. The Kings and the Sharks (and the Oilers, although not recently) have been the Western Conference teams I followed, again prior to last year’s insulting lock out. The Kings have an A-list goalie. I would have picked them against anyone. It was just a nice deal that I could pick them over San Jose.

Game seven is tonight, and I have one more huge reason to root against the Sharks.

We all remember the mental breakdown all Bruins fans suffered in 2010. The B’s took that magical 3-0 series lead over Philly and it turned into a curse as we watched in horror as Philly won game seven. It’s only happened three times in NHL history. Three times, a team has blown a 3-0 series lead and lost the round 4-3. The Bruins are just the most recent example.

Tonight, however, history could be made once again. The Sharks murderlized the Kings in the first two games. Then they won game three in overtime. Since then? The Sharks have lost by three goals scores in games four through six. The series is now tied at three games a piece. The Sharks have home ice advantage in tonight’s game seven, but I am optimistic that both the Sharks doctrine will be upheld, and that the Bruins will no longer be looked at as the last team to blow a 3-0 series lead.

The Kings. The Los Angeles Kings. They must, MUST win this game tonight. They must put the Sharks away. They must score early and often and break their spirit. Not because I hate the Sharks, not because I am rooting for the Kings so much (the Bruins are winning the cup this year, therefore I will not have to pick a back up team to root for like I did two years ago), but because the memory of 2010 still stings me, and I want another team to go through the same misery in the hopes that it will serve as a buffer between me and the memory of the Bruins failure. Not even winning the Stanley Cup in 2011 could erase the agony of 2010. Maybe this will at least ease it a little more.

I honestly hope that some day Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau will hoist the Cup in front of their Bay Area faithful. I mean it. Despite everything, I still consider myself to be a big Joe Thornton fan.

I just don’t want it to be this season, and I most definitely do not want to see them win tonight.

Go Kings.

Oh yes, Go Kings!

Stanley Cup Finals Game Five – Greetings from the Tobin Bridge

Hi everyone, I am writing this post whilst standing in line at the Tobin Bridge.  There are about 13,909 Bruins die hard fans here all  lined up to hurl themselves off the highest point on the bridge due to the sheer misery of last night’s loss.  I figured as my final act before throwing myself into oblivion with all of these other fine Bruins-obsessed folks, that I would talk to some people and maybe find out what is going through the minds of the fellowship of the miserable.

First I spoke to a man named John Doe.  He was wearing a Bruins hat, a Bruins replica game jersey (black), Bruins pajama pants, and had Bruins shoe laces on his black and gold sneakers.  He looked very tired, as if he hadn’t slept since “the good old days” which is how he referred to life as a Bruins fan prior to the start of game four.  “I can’t take it,” said Mr. Doe.  “I can’t stand the thought of losing to those damn Chicago Blackhawks with their damn bandwagon fans.  I watched game two in a bar on the South Side of Chicago and I had one guy ask me if a goal was worth seven points, like a touchdown.  Another ‘fan’ says to me, ‘so if the ‘hawks lose tonight they’re out of it, right?’  One other fan took me aside during a commercial break and asked me, ‘what is this icing thing they keep talking about?’  I wanted to slit my wrist right then and there, but then we won the game so I celebrated like crazy for a couple of days instead.”

Later I spoke to a curiously dressed woman who told me her name was Jane Roe.  She was wearing a wedding dress that had a big spoked B painted on it.  After last night’s loss she took a black sharpie and covered the dress with black ink.  She even colored her veil black.  I asked her why she was wearing a wedding dress on the Tobin Bridge and she said she couldn’t remember.  She thought it had something to do with trying to tie the happiest day of her life, her wedding day, to the happiest day of her hockey life, winning a second cup in three years, but she said the details were fuzzy.  “I’ve been drunk since overtime started in game four,” she said.  I asked her why she was on the bridge and all she could say was, “Bergeron’s in the hospital.  No Bergeron, no cup.”  She repeated it constantly before her turn on the edge arrived.  Just before she threw herself off she looked relieved and said, “I’ll never have to live in a world where we lost the Cup to the friggin’ Blackhawks.”

A third gentleman I saw was wearing an impeccable tuxedo and holding a home made tin foil replica of the Stanley Cup.  I tried to ask him his name and what brought him to the bridge, but all he would say was, “friggin’ Jagr.  So close.  No goals.  Friggin’ Jagr.”  He stood there patiently for a few hours as fan after fan ended it all in Stanley Cup misery.  Then out of nowhere he lost his head completely.  He started screaming obscenities and forced his way past the security to the front of the line and then lept into thin air yelling, “screw you, Corey Crawford!”  It was one chaotic moment in an otherwise orderly mass hockey suicide.

That pretty much sums up the scene here on the Tobin.  Most people won’t talk.  They just stand there, waiting patiently for their turn on the ledge.  Most look dazed, pale, confused.  They are wondering what happened.  They are unable to figure out how the Bruins could be down three games to two to Chicago and they frankly can’t take it anymore.  The line is moving at a steady clip.  I figure my turn should come right around the start of game Six tomorrow night.  Maybe if they can get off to a good start, those who are still in line might change their mind for a while.  Umm… Bruins?  Speaking on behalf of everyone here… we could really use a win tomorrow.  I mean… really.  Really, we could seriously use a win tomorrow.  Just saying.  No pressure or anything but.  We sort of NEED A WIN.  If you know what I mean.

Go Bruins!

Bruins/Penguins Game Four Tonight

I used to think that a three games to none lead in a seven game series was a lock.  Then in 2004 the Red Sox came out of a 3-0 hole and beat the Yankees in the American League Championship series.  On the flip side there was 2010 when the Bruins blew a 3-0 series lead to the Flyers in the Conference Semi Finals.

Especially for Boston fans, three games to none series leads will never again feel safe.  We know better.

The Bruins have a three games to none lead over the Penguins and game four is tonight.  They took a 3-0 lead against the Flyers in 2011 and finished the sweep.  They took a 3-0 lead in the last round against the Rangers and finished the series in five games.  I should feel pretty confident.  I do not feel confident.  Cautiously optimistic, yes.  Confident?  No.

I need the Bruins to win tonight.  They have Pittsburgh down and they have to put them away without giving them any hope.  They have to finish them off quickly.  The Penguins showed us in game three that they are not going down without a fight.  However, in game two they showed us that if you rattle them enough they will cave in.  If the Bruins can jump out to a quick lead the way they have in the past two games… maybe that will do it.  Maybe that will break what’s left of the Penguins spirit.  Regardless, the Bruins have to play as if their life depends on it or else risk falling into that mean ol’ 2010 trap.

Win it tonight, Bruins.  Put them away while you can.

 

Go Bruins!