Fail Averted

I’m not doing a photo a day thing. I did one from September 1, 2019 through August 31, 2020.

Success.

It’s just that once I finished I kinda forgot to stop. So from September 1, 2020 through April 11, 2021 I had a photo each day. Crazy.

When I woke up on the 13th I realized that I forgot to take a picture on the 12th. Fail. It’s okay because I am not actually doing a photo a day.

A few minutes ago I opened up Flickr and watched the last couple of days worth of pics upload. Much to my surprise there were two from the 12th. I took ‘em and forgot about ‘em. So I’m still on track for the photo a day I’m not actually doing. Cool!

The picture I took and forgot about was of a little gift an instacart shopper left for us. Thanks for keeping me on track!

I Hate Squirrels

Bastards. Little furry rodent adorably cute bastards. Squirrels. The bane of my existence.

Jen and Harry like to have bagels for breakfast now and then. Today is Instacart day so Jen included a bag of bagels in the grocery order. The delivery came and in good social distance practice they left it outside on the steps. There were only a few minutes between the delivery and me going out to get it, but that was enough time for a couple of squirrels to rip open the bag of bagels and have at it.

Damn you, squirrels! First my bird seed, now my bagels? Is there no end to your evil? Will the torment never end?

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 68

Quinoa. It’s not all the same. Who woulda thunk?

When I was still going to grocery stores I bought quinoa from what we’ll call Brand A. When I cook the one dish I know how to cook I put one cup of quinoa into two cups of boiling water and it takes about 15-16 minutes for the quinoa to absorb all the water.

For most of our lock down, instacart has been bringing us quinoa from what we’ll call Brand B. When I cook the one dish it takes about 9-10 minutes for the one cup of quinoa to soak up the two cups of water.

After months cooking with Brand B, instacart brought us Brand A again. Hooray! Not that it is better tasting (thought I think it might be) but just because it was fun. Unfortunately I was in such a groove of needing 10 minutes that having it take 15 completely threw me off my game.

In true stir crazy covid spirit though, I can’t help but wonder what the difference is? Why does one brand act so different from another? I mean, I can get two brands of onions and they cook up pretty much the same way. I can get two brands of chicken and they cook up pretty much the same way? What’s so special about quinoa, and is one brand normal and the other not? Is 15 minutes the industry standard while 10 is some kinda freakin’ freak?

Enquiring minds need to know.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 64, aka The Perfect Delivery Storm

I just survived a perfect storm of deliveries. George Clooney was there and everything. It was crazy.

First, a package delivery service. I don’t know which one. The two packages came from Amazon, so was it an Amazon truck? No clue. What I do know is that the delivery professional leaned the two boxes against my door.

Let me type that out again in case you missed it. He/she/they leaned the packages against my door.

How, dear delivery professional, am I supposed to go outside and get the delivery if I cannot open the door because you leaned the friggin packages against the door?

Prior to my finding out about the first delivery, Instacart came by and dropped off some groceries. They did not block the door, because the door was already blocked. There is a little porch outside of our front door that has three steps leading up to it. They placed the groceries on the first step. They completely covered the whole step.

That sounds worse than it was. If someone who has a physical issue and can’t walk well came to our house they might have trouble, but for a reasonably healthy person, walking over the first step should be doable. It’s not ideal, but it’s not as bad as leaning the boxes against the door.

When we received the notification that instacart had been delivered, I went out to get it. That’s when I noticed that I could not open the friggin door because of the first delivery. Have I hammered home how obnoxious it is for a delivery person to block the door with the delivery? If I haven’t, it’s friggin obnoxious. Anyway, I looked out the window in our door to see why I couldn’t open the door, and that was when the perfect storm was completed. The mailman was two houses down the street, and heading our way.

Our mailbox is next to the door, at the top of the three steps. If the mailman arrived he’d have to step over the groceries. Shit. I can’t ask the mailman to do that, can I?

I forced the door open. I had to push the boxes aside and then swing my foot through the small opening and kick the boxes further away. Once I was able to squeeze out I grabbed the two boxes and threw them into the house (not literally, I placed them inside the door) and then jumped over the groceries and cleared a path. I got back in the house just in time to avoid Covid contact with the mail carrier. I did see that he was wearing a mask, which made me happy.

A minute or two later I had all of the groceries inside and put away. The boxes are in our little package staging area waiting for me to open them up later.

Please… if you’re delivering stuff… don’t block the door. Don’t block the steps either, but more important, don’t block the damn door.

InstaCrack Strikes Again

It happened again. We ordered Diet Pepsi and they brought regular Pepsi. I’ve lost 17 pounds in the past month and suddenly instacart is trying to tempt me back to the soda dark side.

I must fight it. I must be diet strong.

Instacart is My Crack Dealer

We just had an instacart delivery. They did a pretty good job getting things we need. My hat is tipped for sure.

Except.

My weight problem may or may not be the result of decades worth of mass consumption of cola drinks. 90% of them coca~cola, but there’s plenty of pepsi sloshing around in all that fatness too.

I can’t kick my addiction to cola drinks, but I have successfully transitioned to diet soda. Diet Pepsi, to be specific. I now drink mass quantities of Diet Pepsi and while it’s not good for me per se, just look at those teeth, bro, it’s better than guzzling the regular stuff.

Today’s instacart order included a couple of six packs of bottled Diet Pepsi. They brought regular. Oh no. I have regular pepsi in my house. Why don’t you just bring a great big bucketful of crack to a crack addict and tell him to have a ball.

Yikes!

Small Instacart Fail

We placed an order with Instacart today. It included a half gallon of ice cream.

mmmmm Ice cream.

Instacart delivered it without issue. Except that it was mostly melted. I’m guessing we weren’t their only stop tonight.

Noted for future reference.