The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 64, aka The Perfect Delivery Storm

I just survived a perfect storm of deliveries. George Clooney was there and everything. It was crazy.

First, a package delivery service. I don’t know which one. The two packages came from Amazon, so was it an Amazon truck? No clue. What I do know is that the delivery professional leaned the two boxes against my door.

Let me type that out again in case you missed it. He/she/they leaned the packages against my door.

How, dear delivery professional, am I supposed to go outside and get the delivery if I cannot open the door because you leaned the friggin packages against the door?

Prior to my finding out about the first delivery, Instacart came by and dropped off some groceries. They did not block the door, because the door was already blocked. There is a little porch outside of our front door that has three steps leading up to it. They placed the groceries on the first step. They completely covered the whole step.

That sounds worse than it was. If someone who has a physical issue and can’t walk well came to our house they might have trouble, but for a reasonably healthy person, walking over the first step should be doable. It’s not ideal, but it’s not as bad as leaning the boxes against the door.

When we received the notification that instacart had been delivered, I went out to get it. That’s when I noticed that I could not open the friggin door because of the first delivery. Have I hammered home how obnoxious it is for a delivery person to block the door with the delivery? If I haven’t, it’s friggin obnoxious. Anyway, I looked out the window in our door to see why I couldn’t open the door, and that was when the perfect storm was completed. The mailman was two houses down the street, and heading our way.

Our mailbox is next to the door, at the top of the three steps. If the mailman arrived he’d have to step over the groceries. Shit. I can’t ask the mailman to do that, can I?

I forced the door open. I had to push the boxes aside and then swing my foot through the small opening and kick the boxes further away. Once I was able to squeeze out I grabbed the two boxes and threw them into the house (not literally, I placed them inside the door) and then jumped over the groceries and cleared a path. I got back in the house just in time to avoid Covid contact with the mail carrier. I did see that he was wearing a mask, which made me happy.

A minute or two later I had all of the groceries inside and put away. The boxes are in our little package staging area waiting for me to open them up later.

Please… if you’re delivering stuff… don’t block the door. Don’t block the steps either, but more important, don’t block the damn door.