I’m kidding. Blindness is not funny. Being a dumbass who wears glasses however can sometimes lead to funny stuff.
This happened while I was at my parents house yesterday and I laughed at myself, but by the time I straightened it all out I wasn’t in a funny mood anymore so I didn’t write about it. I’m at home today and it’s getting funny again. A little. Sort of.
My parents have a bottle of lens cleaner in the bathroom. My glasses were dirty as hell after having balled my eyes out into them for a while the night before. I went into the bathroom, ripped some tissue off the roll, took off my glasses, grabbed the bottle and sprayed the shit out of my lenses. That’s when I smelled it. A nice, fresh, sweet scent that wafted back to me from my glasses, and from the hand holding my glasses. What the hell? I looked at the bottle, but without my glasses I couldn’t read the label. Pretty clearly I grabbed the wrong bottle.
I cleaned the glasses as best I could, put them back on, and through the streaks and the fog and the haze I could see that I did not, in fact, spray my glasses with lens cleaner. Instead I sprayed them with scented body wash, which was in a nearly identical bottle right next to the lens cleaner.
12 pounds of actual lens cleaner later and I could see again. The reason I bring this up now is…
…Man, my glasses are dirty again. Where’s my lens cleaner?