ER

Everything is fine, but I’m getting sick of hospitals. That’s a problem given my line of work, but what’s a red head to do?

No News

I was able to get about 7.5 hours of sleep last night and that was very much needed. I didn’t get any news about mom overnight. My sister was there last night. I think my next overnight is tomorrow. My brother, Jen, and I got to meet with the doctor yesterday afternoon and he reiterated to us that every patient in this situation is different, so we don’t really have any signs to point to that will tell us how things are progressing. She’s in Care Measures Only, or Hospice right now so it’s just a waiting game.

I just heard from my sister that, as I suspected by the lack of text messages, overnight was quiet. We will see how things go today. I am going to try and work through the morning. We will see how that goes too. Hopefully I’ll be able to get Dad to see her again today. He isn’t able to stay for long, but I hope we can get him as much time with her as we can.

Overnight

Jen and I spent the night in mom’s hospital room. We both slept a little but not too much. There was no real change in mom’s condition other than she actually seems to have fallen asleep, and that has slowed down her breathing rate.

My sister is planning on getting here around 8:00. We will go home when she gets here, check in briefly with work, check on our pair of cats who don’t like each other very much, and then sleep for a while before heading back to the hospital.

Mom

We are not at the end yet, but we are probably down to the last days. It’s heartbreaking.

Last Rites

When I woke up this morning I knew it was going to be a tough day. I didn’t think the catholic kid I used to be long ago would see the last rites performed for the first time ever.

What a massively suck day today has been.

Painful

I’m at the hospital with my mother. Every time I see her like this it’s terrible and every time is worse than the time before.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Scenes from a Park Bench

I visited my father today. We had a conference call with my brother. It was a difficult talk but it was necessary and we’re all on the same page… even though it’s an awful page to be on. I’ll talk about it someday, but not quite yet.

I’m home for a quick lunch and then heading to the hospital to see my mother.

This Week Has Sort of Sucked

Between me feeling sick for a few days and my mother going into the hospital with pneumonia and me dropping the ball on something at work for which I will never forgive myself and our new cat being very anti-social, it’s been a pretty crappy week. It’s only Thursday so you’d think there would be time to straighten everything out and salvage the week, but we’re going to a wake for a 20-something year old on Saturday and that is not exactly a day brightener, you know? We are picking up our new cat’s four month old kitten this weekend so hopefully that will lighten the mood a little. The cats were named Disco and Boogie but we are changing them to Robin (or Robin Sparkles) and Lily after two characters on How I Met Your Mother. Robin is mom and Lily is kitten, even though Robin and Lily were not related on the show. Give me a break, okay? It’s better than Disco and Boogie. I mean, I don’t want a kitten named for a synonym for snot.

I’m not sure what the issue was that made me feel sick. It was definitely stomach related, but it was different than the usual post-surgery stomach problems. I wonder if it just had to do with my eating schedule going down the crapper starting on Saturday and not clearing up until Wednesday. I had two stomach problems on Wednesday but they were the usual you-ate-too-fast-and-your-stomach-couldn’t-handle-it problems. Not a stomach ache that gets worse when you’re standing or laying down and gets better when you are sitting up straight. Yeah, I don’t get it. Hopefully that goes away and stays away.

My mother will be in the hospital into the weekend at least. They are giving her antibiotics for pneumonia and a UTI. On her second night they found that she was a little anemic but as of yesterday they haven’t figured out why yet. It’s all really scary and stressful, but we know she’s in good hands. We just need to put our faith in the hospital. I’m still worried though. My brother spent the day with her yesterday, and my sister will visit her today. I’ll be going back tomorrow. After that, I don’t know. There’s a chance she could be going back to the nursing home on Saturday. I don’t know how good of a chance, but there is a chance.

As for the cat, the two year old cat I mean, Robin Sparkles, she spent the first few days hiding, but she’s starting to do a little exploring now. She was very friendly to me for a while, but now she seems scared to death of me. I don’t know why, but I hope she gets over it. She’s more friendly to Jen, but still not too friendly. I want to give her a month or so to adjust before I pass judgement on her behavior. I’m curious to see how she behaves when the kitten gets here (on Sunday… or maybe Saturday if the stars align). When we first met them at the shelter, the kitten was the friendliest feline I’ve ever seen. Here’s hoping that hasn’t changed in the intervening week.

Okay, it’s 9:00am. Time to get to work. May your Thursday go better than my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday have gone. Thumbs up, brothers and sisters.

Scream

That sound you’ve been hearing off in the distance since about 2:00am is just me screaming in fear and frustration and uselessness and incompetence and all sorts of things like that.

You know how things get at 2:00am.

Last Five Minutes of Lunch Break

There are only a few minutes left in my lunch break and I feel like I should add to the internet noise, you know?

3.5 hours left until the weekend. That seems like such a long time. On Saturday there will be rain in the morning, assuming the forecast I read today is correct. I need to rake some leaves, but that will need to wait until later in the afternoon. I need to go and buy clothes. My jeans are too big and need to be replaced. Almost all of my shirts, both work appropriate and otherwise, are also too big and need to be replaced. I am going to try going to a normal person store instead of a tall and fat person store. I expect I’ll have to go to both, but I really forget how to shop at normal people stores.

Dad has been moved from the hospital to a rehab. He moved last night and my sister was with him this morning. It sounds like he’s not in a very happy place. He’s not having a good rehab experience. I need to visit him tomorrow, if only for a few minutes. I also need to visit my mother, again if only for a few minutes. My aunt’s wake is Sunday afternoon. I hope to sneak a little more raking in before that, but we’ll have to see how far I can get. I expect that when the weekend is over we’re still going to have a front yard full of dead leaves. My aunt’s funeral is Monday morning. I took the day off from work so that I can go. There is a reception afterwards, but I don’t think my covid fear is going to let me attend. I’ll go to the church and I’ll go to the cemetery, but I think that’s all I can muster. I hope that’s enough.

The band has been talking again. Our singer has been the hang up, as he travels to Maine every weekend. We need to figure out how to get all of us into the same room at the same time. It will likely be a week night. We’ll see. I need to play at an obnoxious, obscene volume and I need to do it soon.

I am starting to get psyched up for Thanksgiving. The dinner itself isn’t a big deal anymore, as I can’t eat most of it and what I can eat won’t amount to a lot. No, the weekend after turkey day will see the kids coming home. That’s going to be awesome. Sure, we’ll start decorating for Christmas and I will bitch at how it’s too early, but that’s okay too. I don’t mind losing that fight. Not that it’s even a fight, you know? The weird thing is that I have this strange urge to start putting together a Christmas list. Insert demented laughter here.

Okay, lunch break is over. Back to work, red head.