I’m kidding. Blindness is not funny. Being a dumbass who wears glasses however can sometimes lead to funny stuff.
This happened while I was at my parents house yesterday and I laughed at myself, but by the time I straightened it all out I wasn’t in a funny mood anymore so I didn’t write about it. I’m at home today and it’s getting funny again. A little. Sort of.
My parents have a bottle of lens cleaner in the bathroom. My glasses were dirty as hell after having balled my eyes out into them for a while the night before. I went into the bathroom, ripped some tissue off the roll, took off my glasses, grabbed the bottle and sprayed the shit out of my lenses. That’s when I smelled it. A nice, fresh, sweet scent that wafted back to me from my glasses, and from the hand holding my glasses. What the hell? I looked at the bottle, but without my glasses I couldn’t read the label. Pretty clearly I grabbed the wrong bottle.
I cleaned the glasses as best I could, put them back on, and through the streaks and the fog and the haze I could see that I did not, in fact, spray my glasses with lens cleaner. Instead I sprayed them with scented body wash, which was in a nearly identical bottle right next to the lens cleaner.
12 pounds of actual lens cleaner later and I could see again. The reason I bring this up now is…
…Man, my glasses are dirty again. Where’s my lens cleaner?
My eyes are getting worse by the day. I’m okay, but the day is coming when it’s going to be a struggle. I tried to use this blog to figure out when I got my current glasses and it failed me. It failed because I was searching for either two broad a keyword, or the wrong keyword.
“New glasses” got me a ton of hits, mostly posts concerning the kids getting their first pairs of glasses. Bifocals got a hit from sometime in 2016 with me speculating that I needed them. I needed to search for “Progressive Lenses”. That would have brought me to the right post, but I didn’t think of that.
Instead I went to Flickr. I started in Spring of 2018, thinking it’s probably been two years or so. I scrolled back in time until I found a picture of myself without glasses on, and then scrolled forward and there it was.
September 11, 2017. Not only an anniversary of tragedy, but also the day I got my first pair of non-reading glasses. My first pair of always on’s.
Once the COVID-CRAZY ends, I have to get myself to an eye doctor and get my prescription updated. Maybe I can get some frames that are less likely to slide down my nose… unlikely given the size of that nose. Yikes.
Here’s a pic of my glasses, taken on 9/12/17. A little more than 2.5 years ago. I think it’s safe to say I’m due for a check up, at least.