Blindness Can Be Funny

I’m kidding. Blindness is not funny. Being a dumbass who wears glasses however can sometimes lead to funny stuff.

This happened while I was at my parents house yesterday and I laughed at myself, but by the time I straightened it all out I wasn’t in a funny mood anymore so I didn’t write about it. I’m at home today and it’s getting funny again. A little. Sort of.

My parents have a bottle of lens cleaner in the bathroom. My glasses were dirty as hell after having balled my eyes out into them for a while the night before. I went into the bathroom, ripped some tissue off the roll, took off my glasses, grabbed the bottle and sprayed the shit out of my lenses. That’s when I smelled it. A nice, fresh, sweet scent that wafted back to me from my glasses, and from the hand holding my glasses. What the hell? I looked at the bottle, but without my glasses I couldn’t read the label. Pretty clearly I grabbed the wrong bottle.

I cleaned the glasses as best I could, put them back on, and through the streaks and the fog and the haze I could see that I did not, in fact, spray my glasses with lens cleaner. Instead I sprayed them with scented body wash, which was in a nearly identical bottle right next to the lens cleaner.

12 pounds of actual lens cleaner later and I could see again. The reason I bring this up now is…

…Man, my glasses are dirty again. Where’s my lens cleaner?

Glasses – Progressive Lenses – Bifocals – History

My eyes are getting worse by the day.  I’m okay, but the day is coming when it’s going to be a struggle.  I tried to use this blog to figure out when I got my current glasses and it failed me.  It failed because I was searching for either two broad a keyword, or the wrong keyword.

“New glasses” got me a ton of hits, mostly posts concerning the kids getting their first pairs of glasses.  Bifocals got a hit from sometime in 2016 with me speculating that I needed them.  I needed to search for “Progressive Lenses”.  That would have brought me to the right post, but I didn’t think of that.

Instead I went to Flickr.  I started in Spring of 2018, thinking it’s probably been two years or so.  I scrolled back in time until I found a picture of myself without glasses on, and then scrolled forward and there it was.

September 11, 2017.  Not only an anniversary of tragedy, but also the day I got my first pair of non-reading glasses.  My first pair of always on’s.

Once the COVID-CRAZY ends, I have to get myself to an eye doctor and get my prescription updated.  Maybe I can get some frames that are less likely to slide down my nose… unlikely given the size of that nose.  Yikes.

Here’s a pic of my glasses, taken on 9/12/17. A little more than 2.5 years ago. I think it’s safe to say I’m due for a check up, at least.
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What I learned today

I’m sitting here waiting for my new glasses, thinking about what I’ve learned today.

First, my eyes aren’t falling apart the way I had feared.

Second, I learned that for every 20 minutes you spend staring at a computer at work, you should look away for 20 seconds. This will let your eyes relax and keep them from getting fatigued.

Third, I know how to access the emoji keyboard in iOS 7. 😎

Finally, glasses are WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than the last time I bought them. Woah!