Tag: Family

More Stuff

Not to be left out of the birthday fun, my nephew is 10 today. Double digits. He’s a mini-me. He’s lucky in two ways. If you’re going to have the misfortune of looking like me, it’s good that you didn’t lose your curly hair the way I did, and also it’s extra lucky that you’re skinny while I was already well on my way to being a fat ass by the time I was 10. He is keeping all the good stuff that I had when I was little. He’s also hysterically funny and he’s not afraid of his own shadow. Two things I didn’t have at 10. So basically, if you eliminate all the stuff that I was bad at when I was 10 you have my nephew. He’s awesome and I love him and I hate that I haven’t been able to visit in forever. I am so sick of the pandemic. It’s killing me.

My father showed some improvement on Tuesday. On Wednesday he seemed to take a bit of a step back but was still better than he had been. Today the word is he seems to have improved a little bit again. We have tentative plans for next steps starting next week. It’s all scary.

We should have the bedroom done tomorrow night… assuming we don’t come up with any new ideas. The mattress is going to be the killer. We have plans in place though. The kitchen stuff starts coming next week. Next weekend is going to be another crazy furniture assemble-fest.

I made a works in progress playlist for RPM. Still not 100% invested yet. Maybe if I can get some guitar parts down it will trigger me. Maybe.

https://hearthis.at/roberjames1971/set/rpm2021-works-in-progress/

I haven’t played with blog themes yet. I browsed a little before bed last night. We’ll have to book some time soon. I have so many reminders in my phone right now. I have to schedule everything with myself or I forget everything.

I’m tired and sad and I want everything to go back to normal and I want it now.

Birthday Part 2

I don’t know if I’ve told this story here or not… I’ve probably told it 100 times but I can’t even remember what I had for lunch yesterday never mind if I wrote a blog post about something that happened 14 years ago or not.

Back in 2007 when Jen and I first started dating, she had a rule that we needed to stick to. Anyone she dated had to be around for six months before they were allowed to meet the kids. I liked that rule, not because I was insanely nervous about meeting the kids (I was, of course) but because it was a sign to me that she cared more about them than anything in the world including any potential new relationships she might find herself in. It meant that the kids came first, and she wasn’t going to let them get attached to someone who might not be around for the long haul.

Six months later we were still going strong and the day came when I was to meet Bellana and Harry. The plan was to go to a Chuck E Cheese near my office in Framingham after work. Obviously I was terrified. I had zero experience with kids and if they hated me right off the bat it was all going to be over for me and Jen. She told me that Bellana (age six) was a little more outgoing and probably would be more interested in me. Harry (age four) was a little more shy and would probably clam up.

We met outside of the building so that we could all go in together. It went exactly the opposite of how we expected. Bellana hid behind her mother and was very shy. Harry, with all the confidence in the world, walked right up to me and asked if I wanted to see a paper he had worked on in pre-school that morning. He was completely fearless.

By the end of the evening both kids seemed comfortable with me and I was already loving them. They accepted me right away, and they accepted the idea of me and their mother being together right away. I can’t thank them enough for that. Even now, 14 years later, I am pretty stunned at how well that night went. I will never forget it, and I will also never forget that Harry was the first one to welcome me into the family. I love both of those kids more than I ever dreamed I could love anyone.

Once again, happy 18th birthday, Harry.

Birthday

Today is my step son Harry’s 18th birthday. I am so proud of him. He has grown up to be a fine man. He is smart, he is kind, he is caring, he is considerate, he is funny, he is charming, he is woke like a boss (which is nice). The last year has been a complete shit show but he’s managing it well. He’s going to be leaving for college in August and that is painful to think about so I don’t think about it, for now. I love him more than I can express and I can’t wait to see the great things he accomplishes in the future. Happy Birthday, Harry.

Improvement

I think there may have been some improvement over at the hospital. Not sure. There aren’t any answers, but there was a little more clarity. A little. A tiny bit. It’s something and I’ll take it.

Cautious optimism (I use that phrase too much, I think, but it’s appropriate here). Raise a glass to continual improvement. I mean, I don’t drink but if ever there were a time to start….*

*Ellipses are supposed to be three dots. Why then do I almost always use four or five? The compulsion….. annoys me. Something else I am not very good at, in the long line of things I am not very good at.

Scary

My father is moving out of the intensive care unit into the intermediate care unit. His physical issues are stabilizing. That’s excellent news. Unfortunately, none of the physical problems that were uncovered when he got to the ER on Friday are the reason he went to the ER on Friday. The reason he went to the ER was his confused and disorientated mental state. Even more unfortunately, that situation is getting worse.

He keeps trying to get out of the bed because he keeps forgetting why he’s in the bed. He called home today and talked about everyone who has visited him, including a couple of cats. There is a global pandemic. The hospital does not allow visitors, period. They especially don’t allow cats.

I just want a diagnosis. I want root cause. At this point I’ll settle for a decent theory. I’m completely freaking out. I am trying to be the good Male Irish Immigrant Stereotype* and bottle it all up but I’m failing miserably. I am completely freaking out and constantly on the verge of falling apart. What the hell is going on?????

*I’m a great grandson of Irish immigrants via my paternal grandmother’s line, but the stereotype still applies. I have the red hair to prove it. I probably have the alcoholic gene too. See what I did there? That was a joke based on a stereotype. See how it all ties together? I told you I was coming unglued.

No News Doesn’t Feel Like Good News

Dad is still in the hospital. No new news. His hematologist said it looked like he had a heart attack. His cardiologist disagreed. He didn’t have a heart attack, but the anemia is putting added stress on his ticker. He’s still losing blood and they still don’t know where it’s going. He’s still confused and having false memories and they still don’t know where it’s coming from. He’s doing a great job of hiding it. The staff can have lucid conversations with him. He knows his name, he knows the year, all that. He also insists that his daughter is a nurse and that he needs to move to another room in the hospital and that the doctor told him he was having heart surgery and that he’s had visitors and that he was once kidnapped. None of that has happened.

On a personal note, the foot issue that I believe is plantar fasciitis started coming back on Thursday and is now back with a vengeance. My foot hurts like holy hell. Just a touch of icing on the shit cake. I’ve somehow managed to stick with my intermittent fasting bullshit through this. I will be clear to start stress eating again in 14 minutes. Bring it.

That Wasn’t Fun

Yesterday started okay. The company I work for paid out the annual bonus. A little less than last year, but given the circumstances it was very nice. I was happy.

That’s about when the first customer issue of the day started blowing up. It was something slightly similar to something that happened at another customer site a few weeks ago so I brought the guy who worked through that in to help me.

That’s when the texts started coming. My father was out of it mentally. He told my sister a story about how he was kidnapped once and if she came to the house the kidnappers would come for her too. WhatWhatWhat? My sister got there first. My brother’s kids were home with a possible covid exposure so he was stuck. I told my boss about our customer issue and asked my staff member to keep on it and headed to my parents house.

My sister called his doctor and they said go to the ER. I told her to call an ambulance rather than drive him herself. Not long after, dad made the same suggestion. The paramedics came, and an ambulance, and a fire engine. They were there within about two minutes of my sister placing the call. Thank you all.

Lisa followed the ambulance to the hospital where she, obviously, was not allowed in with him. She stayed in the parking lot and snuck into the building when the freezing cold got to her. I stayed with my mother. She can’t be left alone.

The ER found that my father was severely dehydrated (again, because he doesn’t drink water even when it’s basically thrown into his head) and severely anemic and the anemia is putting a strain onto his heart… they think. Something’s up with the heart and they think it’s related to his blood counts, but no one knows for sure yet. Why is he low on blood? We don’t know. They gave him a transfusion but last we heard his counts are dropping again. He’s bleeding somewhere and we don’t know where.

While all this was going on, the customer issue at work completely blew up all over the poor guy I left it with. I’m not sure yet if it would have blown up if I had been there, but regardless I stuck that guy with the problem and it turned out to be a mess and I feel terrible about it.

Dad was admitted, eventually. They put him into the ICU which just tickled us all so much (that’s sarcasm). I spent the night on the couch so that my mother wouldn’t be left alone. She had a very bad night as far as back pain and leg pain and everything pain is concerned. She takes a heavy duty pain medication but it seems to take forever to kick in. Once it did she was able to sleep, thank goodness.

Around the time we learned my father was going to be moved to the ICU my sister tried to start her car to run the heater for a few minutes and her battery was dead. How’s that for icing on the cake, eh? Her husband came and jump started the car and they both went home.

My sister relieved me around 9:00 this morning and I’m home now. Assuming my brother’s covid scare comes back negative (three of the four tests are confirmed negative, they are just waiting on one more) he will relieve her at some point today and stay the night, assuming dad isn’t discharged. Lisa can cover tomorrow night.

So how was your Friday?