Lots of people in the office today. It’s a little unsettling in this post pandemic, haiku for you kinda world.
Lots of people here,
All wanting a piece of me.
Let me eat my lunch.
Author: robertjames1971
I'm wicked tall.
Dumb Bird
Want to hear a story about a bird with a low IQ?
Here we go.
I got up early today and did my morning exercise in the basement. When I was done I went upstairs and started packing up my lunch bag as today is a work in the office day. I was standing in the little space between the living room and the dining room, digging through the pantry closet where my protein bar stash lives and I heard a weird nose. It was a low, metallic rumbling sound. It only lasted for a second and then it stopped. A minute or so later I heard it again.
What the hell was it? My first thought was maybe there was a problem with our central air system? No, it’s not that. It happened again and it sounded like it was coming from the living room. I don’t get it. I asked Jen if she knew what it was but she hadn’t heard it. When it happened again I found it was coming from the fireplace. That eased my mind a little. It was probably something outside and we were just hearing it through the chimney. It happened again and it seemed really loud, but it was definitely in the chimney.
I went outside, where it was a crisp 36 degrees out, and took a look. From the front of the house I couldn’t see anything. I walked around to the back, with a sneaking suspicion of what I was going to find, and sure enough my suspicion was accurate.
There is a metal cap on the top of our chimney. It sits on top of a metal, mesh thing so that the smoke can escape, but it’s literally a cap on top of the opening. Standing next to this cap was a freakin’ woodpecker. Every minute or so this moron was bashing away at the chimney cap (or whatever you call it) trying to… eat something? I don’t know. This bird was an idiot. I laughed at its stupidity and it heard me, got spooked, and flew away.
Dumb bird.
Positive Changes
This is easy. The single most positive change I have made in my life was agreeing to meet Jen in person, back in April 2007. That meeting lead to us dating, which lead to us moving in together (the anniversary of which is next week), which lead to me popping the question and her (thankfully) saying yes, which lead to us getting married, which lead to every good thing that’s happened in my life since then. If that isn’t a positive change then I don’t know what is!
In second place behind Jen and all of the family positivity that came with falling madly in love and sharing my life with her… it’s a distant second, but still second, is my weight loss surgery. Here’s an example. Last night I had to carry a bunch of things from the dining room and the living room downstairs into the cellar storage space. I think I made two or three trips in total. Had I done that two years ago I would have been ruined for hours. One trip to the cellar and back would have left me short of breath with huge back and leg pain. Just carrying all of my massive weight around was painful and difficult and awful and I was constantly in a state of wondering whether or not the next step was going to kill me. It was a pretty bad way to live. I was useless. I couldn’t do anything without having to stop after a minute or so and rest to get my wind and my strength back.
Now, two years removed from the gastric bypass? If Jen needs me to do something, I can do it. Back pain and leg pain are still a thing, but I can do 100 times more before they start creeping up on me, and they are never as bad as they were before. As for shortness of breath? I have to really kick my own ass for that to ever happen now. Physically speaking, I am living in a new world. I can’t believe how different I feel. Sure it’s been a difficult process. Hell, I had all sorts of stomach issues over the last week alone. I have to be extra careful about what I eat and how I eat it and when I eat it and all of that. I have to keep track of everything that goes into my stomach (though I am starting to wonder if I still need to track it as closely as I do, though I do find that keeping tabs on everything is good from a mental well being stand point. Also, I am a lifelong stats geek so it works on that level too) and that stresses me out sometimes. It’s a difficult road, but the results can’t be denied. I feel so much better now. Healthcare wise, that’s the biggest positive change. It’s still a distant second behind meeting Jen though. A far distant second.
SQUEE!!!
It’s growing! Bertie Botts Every Flavour Plant Clipping is growing!!!!!
Thoughts on Sashimi
Salmon sashimi dipped in soy sauce:
Nectar from heaven.
Salmon Sashimi straight, without soy sauce:
Tree bark smeared with old chewing gum.
I just thought you should know.
Practice
I need to practice my guitar for this weekend’s band rehearsal.
I need to practice.
Did I mention I need to practice?
I really need to practice.
I need a lot of practice.
Goodness gracious, do I ever need to practice.
Haiku for You #174
Another Red Sox home opener at Fenway Park. This one comes with a haiku for you.
112 years
Of baseball at Fenway Park.
It’s opening day.
Happy Home Opening Day
Finally
Today at a little after 2:00pm Eastern Daylight Savings time, the Boston Red Sox will play a home game.
Finally.
Happy Fenway Opening Day, everyone. Happy we finally will have a string of games we can actually watch on TV or listen to on the radio without sacrificing an entire night’s worth of sleep.
Finally.
The pictures are old because I haven’t been to Fenway Park in about a decade. Maybe I’ll sneak to a game this year. Maybe I’ll grab a standing room only ticket to some random night game. Standing room only, of course, because Fenway Park is not friendly to tall people. Leg room apparently wasn’t a thing in 1912 when the park first opened.
Exercise is Fun?
Wait a tick here… you put the word “fun” into the same sentence as “exercise”? That does not compute. Exercise is fun in the same way that breaking bones is fun. In the same way that surgery without anesthetic is fun. Am I being over dramatic? Yes, of course I am. Does that make my prior statements false? Absolutely not.
I do 45 minutes of exercise each day at a minimum. I jog (pronounced “yog”*) in place for what my Apple Watch tells me is about 10 kilometers worth of trotting steps and then I stop. As the day goes on I will do a little more jogging (yogging) in place to try to get my daily calorie count higher and higher. Sometimes I’ll walk in place while doing other things. I just picked up one of those stair stepper things too in the hopes that I’ll use that for at least a few minutes each day. I have an exercise bike and I look at it every day, but I haven’t been able to make it part of the daily routine. I want to move it next to my work from home desk in the hopes that I will be inspired to jump onto it for a few minutes a day. We’ll see.
Is any of that fun? No. Not even a little bit.
I guess there are some things that are fun to do that also just happen to be exercise. Walks in the woods. Visits to theme parks. Stuff like that. Want to know one super fun thing that shouldn’t really be thought of as exercise but always gets my heart rate up nice and high and works up a sweat and leaves me worn out like I’d had a major workout? Band practices. Yes, you read that right. I’m not the jumping around rock and roller type, but it does work as an aerobic workout somehow.
I guess what I am trying to say is that exercise in and of itself is never fun for me, but some things that are fun sort of double as exercise? Yeah, that’s the ticket.
*I make the “pronounced yogging” joke on this page all the time. I stole that from a movie. If you aren’t familiar with it, go watch Anchorman with Will Ferrell (and about 100 other A-list comedy celebrities). It’s one tiny throw away line that bares no significance for the rest of the movie, but it’s a funny movie so it’s worth a watch.
One of These Days
