Author: robertjames1971

I'm wicked tall.

First Time at Work

Well, gastric bypass surgery fans, I just had my first mildly annoying post-surgical experience while at the office.

I scheduled a snack for three hours after breakfast. It was a protein bar. Not a big one, not a small one, just a Goldilocks style protein bar to tide me over until lunch and to avoid the empty-stomach-stomach-aches I get when I wait too long between eating anything.

I was fine until the last bite, then I felt the upset stomach that is a harbinger of The Foamies. That state I sometimes find myself in where something is hanging out just outside of my redesigned little stomach pouch (pouch is the technical term for it, I swear) and my body starts over producing saliva to help break it down so that it can get into my stomach. I end up spitting up a lot, and I sometimes end up gagging up whatever is stuck enroute.

Yes, it can be gross. Yes it can be uncomfortable. Yes it is annoying. It’s not really a bad thing, it’s just a thing.

The reason it is noteworthy today is because it was the first time it happened in the office. It’s not the first time it happened during work, but the previous weekdays between 9-5:30 instances were all while working from home. I had to excuse myself and go to the men’s room to spit up saliva and wait to see if my last bite or two of protein bar would come back out to say hello. They didn’t. I was all better again after about five minutes. No harm done. No co-workers grossed out.

I am going to keep a spit-up cup at my desk though. Hopefully I will never use it, but hopefully if I need to no one will see.

As usual, I feel I must state in closing that this is sooooo worth it. Yeah, it’s annoying and all but it is absolutely worth it given the weight loss and all of the other benefits to my health and well being. 100%. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Make Your Happy, Happy

Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Five things… I can do that. In fact, I will give you six because one of the things I want to include is no longer what you’d call an everyday thing. So five things and a bonus… and “everyday things” might be a bit of a gigantic understatement in one case, but I am including it anyway.

  1. Jen. When I say that the word, “everyday” might be an understatement, this is what I am referring to. Jen is not an “everyday thing”. Jen is more like a miracle that I get to experience every day. See the difference? I hope so, because it is massive. Jen makes my world go around. Jen is my universe. Jen is the love of my life. Basically Jen is the source of everything that matters. Happiness? You bet your ass she brings me happiness. She brings me all the happiness.
  2. Bellana and Harry. They don’t live with us anymore. I don’t hear from them everyday. Therefore we have to consider this one sort of a bonus entry on the list. They are my step kids and they bring me happiness everyday, I just don’t see them everyday. See the difference? I can’t write a list of things that make me happy without including them though, so while they are number two on the list, they are sort of a bonus. I love them completely and just knowing they are out there in the wilds of Vermont fills me to the bursting point with happiness.
  3. Music. Now we’re getting to actual everyday things. I listen to at least a little bit of music every day. Even if it’s just a song here and there, or maybe something that comes up on my YouTube suggestions and I give a quick listen to. It doesn’t have to be hours at a time listening to album after album or whatever, though I suspect we’ll get some of that today at work. Playing music, listening to music, writing music, recording music, talking about music, thinking about music… all of it.
  4. A good story. It could be a book, or a TV show, or a movie, or a website, or a news article, or a chat with a friend or family member. I just enjoy a good story.
  5. Going for a drive. I don’t do this one every day, and sometimes (like today in the pouring deluge of rain) it’s less enjoyable than others, but I do love going for a nice drive. The enjoyment level is often tied to the destination, but any drive is a good drive.
  6. Cats! Robin, Lily, the late great Miss Patches, the late great Fluffy Puffy P, the late great Floyd, Buddy, all of my friends cats, all of my family’s cats. Cats make me happy. You might be able to tell from all the cat pictures I post around here. I do enjoy a good cat.

And there you have it, folks. Five plus one things that make me happy. Hopefully you will have a few things make you happy today too. It is Friday, after all. Enjoy yourselves.

My Slightly Defective Brain

In 1982 King Crimson recorded a song called, “Neal and Jack and Me.” It’s on the album called Beat.

Recently I have been listening to an audiobook version The Testaments by Margaret Atwood. There is a character who often refers to her parents by their first names. Their names are Neil and Melanie. Every time this character says the name Neil my brain inserts “and Jack and me.” It’s driving me a little crazy. Neil (and Jack and me) and Melanie did this. Melanie and Neil (and Jack and me) did that.

Can you imagine?

Tonight my wife was telling me about someone she’s working with. His name is Neil. Every time she said his name my tiny little broken brain inserted “and Jack and me.” Neil (and Jack and me) said this. Neil (and Jack and me) said that.

Somebody stop me! Somebody fix me!

Haiku for You #176

I just heard that OJ passed away.

OJ Simpson died,
At 76 years old.
Who’ll play Nordberg now?

I want to give credit where credit is due, but I can’t remember where to give it to. The Nordberg thing comes from a joke I heard back when the whole OJ thing first happened, back in 1994. I think it was Bill Maher but I’m not sure.

High School

Daily writing prompt
Describe something you learned in high school.
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I learned a lot in high school… I think. I learned the basics of programming, which was really helpful given my profession as a programmer. That is probably the one thing I should take away from September 1985 through June 1989. It is not what I’m going with though.

I could write a book about what I didn’t learn in high school. Most notably, my math skills were garbage. How did I get good grades in Algebra II and Trigonometry if I didn’t learn anything at all? Who knows. I didn’t learn squat in two years of Spanish. By the end of Spanish II my grades were reflecting that, but I’ve never needed to use what I didn’t get. The math skills… I really could have used some of that in college.

During my high school years, music was the most important thing in the universe to me. When I graduated I went to college as a music major. That’s why when I think of the most important thing I learned in high school, it is music that I think of first. One thing in particular. Mr O’Toole, the band teacher my Sophomore and Junior years, during one jazz band rehearsal, taught us the basic idea behind improvisation. He gave us the guts, the thought process, the bare minimum of a plan toward a technique. For me, that was beyond profound. A door unlocked in my tiny little brain. A door swung open and it has never closed. I still use the things I learned that day literally every time I pick up my guitar. Every single time.

How does that work for you? Is that a good answer?

Baseball Blues

The Red Sox had a great road trip to start the season, but was it just an illusion? Would the team we expected to suck come back to us when they came home?

Looks that way.

The looked pretty bad in their opener yesterday. Tonight they had a 5-0 lead when I stopped watching. I just checked the score… they are down 7-5 in the eighth.

Yup, it’s gonna be a long season.