The Waiting Room

You should listen to the Genesis song called The Waiting Room while you read this post. Actually, maybe you shouldn’t. It’s an atonal noise-fest and it might scare you off. Listen to Firth of Fifth instead. It’s not related at all, it’s just magic.

My weight on the scale here was 291.6. About four pounds higher than last week’s weigh in at home. I blame my shoes and my wallet and my keys and my phone. Yup. They also said my blood pressure was a smidge low. We will have to keep an eye on that, I think.

Check In with the Surgeon

I’m taking half a day off of work today for a doctors appointment. Today is my five month (approximately) check in with the surgeon. I don’t expect anything beyond how are you doing, that’s great, any issues, that’s great. That’s what I am hoping for at least. We’ll probably be booking the next round of appointments too.

I got a decent night’s sleep last night. I only got one of those last week. Here’s hoping I don’t make that a habit. Let’s have another good night tonight, please.

This morning’s exercise was different than usual. I went 3.2 miles as normal but I did it in 32 minutes. 18 of those 32 minutes was done at a trot. I kinda sorta ran for half of the time. It hurts my feet and my calves but it cranks up the ol’ heart rate. That’s good, right?

Check in today. Weigh in tomorrow. Here’s hoping for a good week all around. Right on, brothers and sisters.

The Next Step

Today marks two weeks on the post-surgery recovery plan’s Stage II diet. (It might be phase II, not stage II, but who cares) Where do we go from here?

In about 5-10 minutes I will be heading out of the house to go to my Stage III class. That is, I believe, when they start letting me eat solid foods. Actual chewing will be involved.

I gotta say, I am a smidgen nervous about this step. I really want to eat food again, but I also really want to keep babying my little baby stomach.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck.

Spoke a Little Too Soon

Okay, so when I wrote a post about being on the stage II diet, I posted a smidge too soon. Tomorrow. Or Thursday. Tonight we’re still liquid.

My first appointment today was the stage II diet class. I will be able to eat small amounts of food, but only if they are pureed down to the consistency of applesauce. On the one hand, gross. On the other hand, kick ass. It’s a Strange New World.

My second appointment was a post-surgical follow up with the nurse practitioner. There were two main topics of discussion. One was, you’re doing everything right. The other was, let’s try to get rid of all of this light headedness. We’re going to try a combination of keep doing what I’m doing, add an extra protein shake if I can hack it, and stop taking one of the meds. I can do that.

I weighed in today for the first time since before the surgery. I have a spreadsheet keeping track of my weight throughout this whole process, but I just scrapped it. It was a combination of my bathroom scale and the scale at the clinic. I have decided to just go with the clinic scale for now and to keep that as the official count. I can do a separate sheet for the home scale.

I want to share the weight loss numbers with the universe, but I don’t want to share the actual weight. I will try to do that with algebra. Hold on to your butts.

My first visit to the clinic was on January 19, 2022. That visit consisted entirely of checking my vital signs, including my weight. On that day my weight was calculated at x.

I’m sure I stood on the scale a few times in subsequent visits but I didn’t write those official numbers down until the day of the stage I diet class, April 29, 2022. On that day my weight was calculated at y=x-20.6. That was a couple of pounds higher than my pre-surgery goal, but it was good enough to proceed. I weighed in again today at the stage II class and the new number is z=y-22.4=x-43.0. Down a little more than 22 since the Friday before the surgery and down 43 since the first weigh in.

The question then is, which number is the accurate/official one? When I think of how much I’ve lost, should it be since the surgery, which is approximately 22.4 pounds, or should it be from the start of the process, which is 43? I don’t know. I also don’t really care.

Appointments Today

I am on day six post-surgery. The only negative so far is just really the dehydration. I’m trying to my best to stay on top of things, and for the most part it’s working, but it’s definitely a thing. One of the two appointments today is just a check up. Maybe they can give me a tip or two to help out going forward.

The other appointment is a big one. It’s a potential game changer. It’s the stage II diet class. In English, stage I is liquids only. That’s what I’m doing now and frankly I’m tired of it. Stage II is pureed food. Does that mean I am going to be able to eat actual food at some point today? If not today, then soon? Oh please. Stick some chicken salad into the blender and actually eat it? Scrambled eggs? Mashed potatoes?

The question I still have is, how much can I fit into my new little stomach. I haven’t ever really felt full, so that’s a question that needs to be answered. We may have the answer soon though.

On a much more painful note, my mother is still in the hospital. No details, just send her all the positive energy you can. It has not been a good experience for her.

So wish her luck, and if you have a little luck to spare, wish me luck too.

Day six. Hanging in there.

No Prep Left

Jen and I are sitting in the living room (the old one, not the new one) and I’m letting my mind wander.

Where is it wandering to?

Where do you think?

I went for my pre-surgery Covid PCR test today. I got an email saying that I had a new entry in my patient portal. I don’t speak hospital but I think it says the results were negative.

So what’s the significance of that? Apart from not having Covid, of course.

That was the last thing I had to do before the surgery. The next step is literally getting a call from the hospital telling me what time to show up.

I’m not freaking out per se. Well… not exactly. I am, but I’m okay with it. Really it’s just getting hard to focus on anything else. I’ll be doing one thing and about a third of my thought process is on my weight and the surgery instead of what I’m doing. I think that counts as a minor freak out.

Overall I feel like I’m keeping my shit together, but I’m pretty sure the next two days at work are going to be a struggle.

Lunch Break

I’ve been eating too much at lunch. I’ve been eating too much at dinner. I’ve been eating too much after dinner. The rest of the day is generally aces.

We’re six days away from the surgery. Gastric Bypass. It sounds like road construction and to a degree it is. I’ve probably said this a few times before, but as scared as I am of having my guts chopped up I am more afraid of what comes after. This isn’t just a cosmetic surgery thing where you loose tons of weight and then carry on with your life. The surgery itself is just one small part of the process. You need to follow it up by completely changing everything. That’s what’s stressing me out today. Well… that’s part of it.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning. It’s the first of a series of classes where they will teach me what to do when I get home. I have to relearn how to eat and drink. I have to relearn how to prepare food. I have to relearn how to react when my guts talk to me. Miss a hint from your insides and end up praying to the porcelain god for an hour. that sort of thing. The first class covers living through the first couple of weeks. The second class is the second couple of weeks, and so on and so forth.

I’m doing my best to stay optimistic about the whole thing, but it’s getting hard to focus on the positive. It’s getting hard to focus on anything. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Until then…

Back to work.

The Next Appointment

Are you folks up for another somewhat obnoxious post about doctors appointments and irrational fear?

Good, cause here it comes.

This afternoon I have a pre-screening for the surgery, which is two weeks from today. I guess that means I am going to meet with the anesthesiologist and he/she’s going to calculate how much knock out juice it’s going to take to put my gigantic king-kong sized ass out for 90 minutes or so. I’m guessing whatever it is they’ll use, it’s going to take a lot.

The timing is going to be funky. The hospital is 24 minutes away and they had to reschedule the appointment for 30 minutes after I get out of work. I’m going to have to split the second after my sick time kicks off. We’re going to be cutting it close.

After that I think I need to get my haircut because if I don’t I’m going to look like Cousin It come surgery day.

On the cellar front, fingers crossed the floor is wrapped up today. We have some furniture being delivered over the weekend. We don’t need everything to be finished by then, but it would make things easier. If everything works out, I may have an office to work from down there by next week. Just in time to go away for a month.

Am I freaking out? Maybe a little. I would say on a scale from 1-100 my freak out level is about a 33 and slowly but steadily increasing.

Duck and cover, kids.