Tag: stir crazy

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 39: Monkey

I grew up in Tewksbury, Massachusetts.  Tewksbury, MA to us locals.

I just saw a post on BookFayce that is a screen shot of what looks like a reverse 911 text message stating that there is a monkey on the loose in Tewksbury.

A monkey.

Running amok (I assume) in my former town.

I am so fucking jealous I can’t even tell you.  I want a monkey to come to my house now.  Why should Tewksbury get all the monkeys?  Why can’t Methuen get a monkey too?  We get turkeys and deer and groundhogs and foxes and (once, I think) bobcats and (maybe) coyotes and hawks and eagles.  I want monkeys too!

I WANT AN EFFING MONKEY!!!!

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 38

I had a Google Hangouts chat on my computer going with Jen.  We were talking about returning a purchase to Best Buy.

I had a text chat on my phone going with Larry.  We were talking about Bellana’s birthday.

I answered Larry’s text chat in Jen’s Hangouts chat even though the two mediums have zero in common.  I typed a text on my keyboard instead of my iPhone…

and I didn’t notice until half an hour after I clicked send.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 37

Hey, did I mention that our dishwasher is dead?  It’s been sliding down a pretty steep slope for the last few weeks and yesterday it reached a point where we decided it wasn’t a good idea to use it ever again.

We have a new one coming, but it won’t be delivered for a month.  Get ready for lots of hand washing the dishes, folks!

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 36

The weather is spectacular today.  Sunny, 67 degrees, the slightest touch of a breeze, not a cloud in the sky.

When I looked at the forecast I was excited that I’d get to open every window in the house and make it feel like a Springtime paradise.

Nope.

Three houses down from us, our neighbors are having work done on their roof.  The crew doing the work are listening to music at a borderline absurd volume.  When I opened the windows in our bedroom (current home of my work-from-home desk) I was assaulted by lame music.

Damn it.

I was hoping for a quiet day with just the breeze to keep me company.  Instead I have to play my own music to drown out their music*.  Granted, my music is awesome so it’s okay.  It’s just not what I wanted today and I want what I want god damn it!

 

*The Sonos speaker in the bedroom has been playing through a playlist consisting of all Genesis records that include Steve Hackett on guitar.  I’ve already burned through Nursery Cryme and Foxtrot.  Right now I’m on Selling England by the Pound track three, “Firth of Fifth.”  Steve Hackett’s shining guitar solo moment.  A career defining moment if ever there was one.  So my music is amazing.  The roofers’ music… not so much.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 35

Nothing specific making me feel stir crazy today..  More like everything working together to subtly drive me ape shit.  My fuse is short and it’s burning bright.  I need to stop feeling on edge.

I put a couple of broken down cardboard boxes out with the trash today.  So did one of my neighbors.  The trash pick up was about eight hours later than usual.  I wonder if it was a different team.  They didn’t take the cardboard.  They didn’t take my neighbors cardboard either.  We’ll try again next week.

I slept really well last night.  Well, better than most nights at least.  It doesn’t matter.  I’m feeling really tired today.  My eyes are also feeling really tired today.  I’m seeing blurry.  I’m tired of this.  See what I did there?  I said I was tired and then I said I was tired of this?  Dig it?  Ugh.

I have to put together a piece of furniture tonight.  The box it came in weighs about 2,143,561,365,242,642,315,447,257 pounds.  Okay, that’s an exaggeration… but only a small one.  It probably weights 70 pounds and it’s huge.  We’re not going to use this piece of furniture for what we purchased it for, but we’ve come up with an alternative use but that doesn’t change the fact that the box weights a ton.

I have two candles burning on the table next to my desk.  I’m guessing if the lock down continues long enough I will have 20 candles burning on the table next to my desk.  At least.

Why can’t I keep my glasses clean?  It’s bad enough they aren’t strong enough anymore, but the least they could do is stay clean.  Jerks.

I tried to keep up with the hourly push ups today but I am so wiped out from moving that furniture box into the house yesterday, along with all of the push ups from yesterday, that I am just too sore and tired to do it.  I did a few, early, but I can’t keep up with it today.  Try again tomorrow, fatty.

My back hurts.  My legs hurt.  My arms hurt.  My eyelids hurt.

Quarantine sucks today.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 34

A couple of weeks I grabbed a soda out of the fridge.  It was part of a six pack of bottles of Diet Pepsi.  I tried to open it and could not.  Despite my seemingly super human strength (really I just put my weight behind it… and there is so much weight… it seems super human to the outside observer) I could not get the bastard open.  There was something wrong with the cap.  It was off the screw top track somehow and it wouldn’t budge.

I got pissed off and threw it away.  Tempers can sometimes run short during a pandemic, as I’m sure the whole human race is aware.

This morning as I was starting my work day I went to the fridge and grabbed a soda… and the same thing happened.

Not this time, you prick.  Not.  This.  Time.

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The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 33

It’s nice out.  A little chilly.  The temp is in the mid-50’s.  Probably a little too cool to open up the windows, but round about lunch time I opened both of the windows in my bedroom/office and have been enjoying a little touch of fresh air.

There’s a negative to this.  Our garbage barrels are on the side of the house and one of the bedroom windows is reasonably close to them.  Every once in a while I hear noise coming from that direction.  What is it?  It’s squirrels.  They have gnawed holes in the barrel covers that are just big enough for them to fit through.  The noise I hear is a squirrel crawling inside the trash and digging around.  I hate those furry little pricks.

Speaking of furry, it finally happened.  I was on a conference call for work.  The cat was desperate to join in.  She jumped on my desk and walked in front of the camera.  I pushed her out of the way but she didn’t go quietly.  She jumped onto my keyboard and somehow opened a whole slew of windows.  Most were things I’ve never even seen before.  I had to scramble to get them out of the way so I could see the meeting.

Animals.  Jerks.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 32

Today is day 54 for me… I think.  I was in the office on March 13th so my first full quarantinie day was March 14th which was 54 days ago… I think.  Did I count wrong?  Probably.  It doesn’t matter.

Yesterday I posted a link to an article explaining why we get all foggy and flakey during situations like this.  I was the textbook case of that this morning.  There I was, taking a shower.  I washed my hair and started thinking of things I need to do at work today and then I washed my hair while thinking about what I needed to do today and then I washed my hair and DAMN IT!

I find myself running out of gas between 8-9:00PM.  I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine I’m exhausted.  I think it’s just a day’s worth of stress building up and then my body says screw you go to sleep.  Does that sound right?

Cheerios… that’s what I need right now.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 31

Jen’s watching NYC real estate videos.  I’m testing the waters on a couple of Netflix series.  Patches is sitting on my desk.

Jen is planning on a nice dinner for us today and that is going to RULE.  I want to do some music today, and some work on a javascript tutorial that I’ve been playing with, and I want to sweep the dining room floor.

All the while, the most entertaining thing in the whole history of quarantines is happening.  Outside my window there is a squirrel trying valiantly to get around the squirrel baffle on the bird feeder.   He climbs up the pole, tries to grab onto the side of the baffle, misses, slides down the pole, climbs up the pole, tries to grab the side of the baffle, gets it, falls on his face, climbs up the pole, sits there for a second looking defeated, slides down the pole.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

It’s like theater.

What’s gonna happen next?

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 30

Is Netflix just better than Hulu? I Googled “Best Netflix original series” and got some really long lists filled with shows I’ve seen and shows that look worthy of a watch and shows that don’t interest me in roughly equal numbers.

I did the same search for Hulu and found a small number of shows I’ve watched, one show that I want to watch (Haindmaid’s Tale) that I haven’t had the courage to start yet (I read the book and given the current sociopolitical climate I’m frankly terrified by the idea of living through that story again), and a slew of shows that are utterly uninteresting to me.

Maybe Netflix is just better at the original series thing.

On an unrelated stir crazy note, I slammed my head into the light fixture in the dinning room today. At least it wasn’t a ceiling fan… my nemesis.

On another unrelated note (of questionable stir crazy origin) my beloved bride baked a cake from scratch today, including frosting. It was delectable. Thanks, lovey!