Tag: social distance

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 26

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 26

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How out of shape can one fat asshole be?

I have been challenged.  A friend today challenged me to try to do push ups every hour on the hour during the work day.  Actually, the discussion started with him asking if I can do A push up.  My answer was a derisive laugh and an emphatic no.  So the challenge, to start with at least, is more like try to do one push up every hour on the hour during the work day.

This discussion started a little before noon.  Fuck it, I thought, I am going to do it.  At noon I got down on the floor, got into the “up” push up position, started to lower myself toward the floor and… splat.  Right on my dumb face.

A few minutes ago I tried again for 1:00 and managed sort of like half a push up.  I lowered myself a little, but not all the way to the floor.  I’ll take that as a win.

I had mentioned that we’ve tried to go for walks around the block.  We haven’t been able to do that consistently, so exercise opportunities for me have been few and far between.  After two failed attempts at push ups over a little more than 60 minutes has me feeling like I ran a marathon.  Ouch.

45 minutes to go until the next try.

Challenge accepted, even though it’s likely going to destroy me.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 25

My hair.  Just… my hair.

I probably wrote about this already, but it is a seemingly never ending source of crazy.  When all of this crap started I was already needing a haircut.  Now we’re into week seven and oh my crap this is insufferable.

As it was starting to cover my eyes I joked with my wife saying that I would cut it myself once it was long enough for me to accidentally inhale it up my nose.  It’s still not there, but it’s long enough that it is starting to reach the tip of my nose.  Given how lightning fast my hair grows, I expect it to be up my nose by week’s end.

I have two Facebook friends who own hair salons.  One of them warned that they can’t fix your hair if it’s not there.  Don’t cut it off, she said.  That was three (I think) weeks ago though.  How much longer am I supposed to hold out?

I am willing to bet a fair sum of money that youtube contains a plethora of videos that will instruct viewers on how to cut their own hair.  Failing that, I am guessing amazon has a fair share of affordable clippers that would at the very least get the hair out of my eyes.

Hair, man.  Hair.

Desk Craziness

Forgive me, but I am going to reuse a picture I posted yesterday.

Working from home has caused some desk setup questions that I didn’t want to deal with, but I think I finally have.

Prior to social distance I had two laptops on my desk in our home office.  I used my MacBook Pro along with a second monitor for all but the eight hours I was telecommuting on Thursdays.  While telecommuting, I switched to a second laptop, running Windows 10.  I used the same second monitor.  I have a 3-1 adapter that has a USB 2.0, HDMI, and USB C input into a single USB C plug.  I had my USB dock, my monitor, and my power all running into it.  When I switched from Mac to Windows I’d just pull the adapter out of one machine and plug it into the other.  Done.

Once the lockdown started I brought my work PC home from Waltham and used that instead of the Windows laptop.  I couldn’t use the same monitor cable for both machines, and the desktop doesn’t have a USB C port, so I was pulling plugs in and out twice a day.

On top of that, Jen and I are both working from home, both in the same room, and both having to join meetings at the same time.  To deal with this I moved my Windows laptop to our bedroom and jokingly called it the conference room.  At first I was using a dinner tray table as a desk, then I setup one of Jen’s old desks instead, and then Jen brought a monitor, a keyboard, and a mouse out and turned the spot into an actual work station.

Yesterday Jen and I both had meetings scheduled for the better part of the day so I bit the bullet and moved my Waltham desktop into the bedroom and spent the whole day in there.  I was planning to move it back to the office this weekend, but instead I talked it over with Jen and we decided to keep a Windows desk in the bedroom and an Apple desk in the office.

Now I am a two desk crazy person.  Certifiably.

237/365

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The minute the lock down ends, my Waltham machine goes back to Waltham and I move all my stuff back to the office. This is temporary.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 23

Ever since I started using the CPAP machine and wearing my Apple Watch to sleep, the first thing I do in the morning is check the SleepWatch app on my iPhone to check out my numbers.

This morning when I woke up I took my phone off the swanky charger thingie… inductive?  enducive?  What ever the hell they call it.  I opened up the SleepWatch app and…

Their servers are down.

I can’t see my numbers.

That was 3.5 hours ago and it’s still down.

But… but… but… what am I going to do without my numbers?  How am I going to get through the day?  Are the SleepWatch staff even still working through the lock down?

I NEED MY NUMBERS!  The CPAP app gave me a 98.  It ran for seven hours so I got full marks there, but I took the mask off too many times and lost two points.  98 is pretty sweet.  It doesn’t tell me how my heart rate dipped though.  It doesn’t give me sleep time vs restful sleep time.

I NEED MY NUMBERS!

Leave the House?

I had to leave the house today.  Not only that, I had to actually go somewhere.  Specifically, I had to go to a store.  It’s been five weeks since I interacted in the same physical space with someone other than my wife and two step kids.

My parents needed something from Home Depot.  I ordered it online and picked it up for them and dropped it off on their front steps.  I used Home Depot’s curbside pickup.  They brought the item out to the car and dropped it off in the parking spot next to mine.  When they walked away I picked it up and put it in the car.

Terrifying.

I exaggerate, but only a little.  I had a mask and gloves on.  My wife made the mask out of a bandanna and some elastics.  It worked great.  When I got home I put my clothes, including the mask, in the wash and took a shower.  Paranoid?  Yup.  Do I care?  Nope.

My father wanted to install the item I dropped off.  I didn’t think his back would let him.  I thought I would do it, but I talked to my brother about it and out of respect to the diabetic in my house who is at high risk from COVID-19 I asked him if there was any chance that he could handle the install.  He did.  I thank him so very much.  My brother John is awesome.  You should all send him some happy thoughts from me.

So I had gone about five weeks without interacting with anyone outside the house.  Now, officially, my clock is reset to zero and I’m going to be looking for COVID-19 symptoms even more than I already was for at least the next two weeks.

Yippee.

Thank you, John.

Screw you, COVID-19.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 22

We expanded our instacart experiment today by placing an order at BJ’s. Double entendre aside, the order consisted mainly of dry goods.  Garbage bags, kitty litter, stuff like that.  I selfishly and frivolously included a request for some wild bird seed.  Jen found one option on the website and we ran with it.

Had I noticed that it was actually a FORTY (40!!) POUND BAG I probably would have thought better of it.  As it is, now I have both bird feeders full, and enough left over to refill them probably three more times each.

Come on birds, the dinner bell is ringing!

In closing, here’s a picture of my cat…

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Week Six

It’s Monday again.  Patriots Day for those of us in Massachusetts.  It should be Marathon Monday in Boston but nope.  We have completed five weeks of our working from home lock down.  Today begins week six.

Sleeping is weird.  I’m doing more laundry than I’ve ever done before.  We’re doing the dishes more often than I’ve ever done before.  We’re still making the bed every day, though the sheets are in the wash today so it’s not made right now.  The trash is going out more often than ever.  The house hasn’t been this clean for this long since we moved in almost 10 years ago.  We haven’t gone anywhere since week one.  We do sometimes leave the house and go for a drive still, though much less often than before, but we just drive around and then go home.  We don’t stop anywhere.

We’re leaning on instacart for groceries and amazon for everything else.  We haven’t used amazon much because we’ve been insanely frugal.  Jen bought a new desk after week one, I bought window screens, she bought a new USB headset, and we’ve both bought bandannas to use for masks.  That’s it.  We haven’t bought books or movies or music or anything, I haven’t bought any guitar gear, she hasn’t bought any computer gear other than things needed directly for work.  We also haven’t been going out to eat at all, which under normal circumstances we do all the time.  We’re somehow managing to save a little money.  Unfortunately, the instacart bills are pretty high so that’s been eating into our available funds.

Last night I jokingly suggested to Jen that we do a Star Wars movie watch and run through them all.  To my shock she agreed.  Then to further my shock I asked her which movie she wanted to start with and she said to start at the beginning.  Episode One?  On purpose?  Amazing!

So how will week six go?  I’m guessing it will go fine, just like weeks one through five.  We just need to make sure the idiot in charge doesn’t ruin the progress we’ve made by letting his cult start going to Starbucks again.  Keep hanging in there.  Keep washing your hands.  Keep doing what socially awkward folks like me have always done and be socially distant.

Solidarity.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 21

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Has the human race ever produced a tool as useless as the scissors in a Swiss Army style pocket knife?

Seriously, I’ve seen wet noodles* do a better job scissoring things than these scissors scissor things.

 

*I actually haven’t.  I wrote that as more of an exaggerated expression to illustrate my point.  I wasn’t lying to you.  I was using a metaphorical type thingie.  Really.  I promise.

Long Days, Fast Weeks

It’s Friday again.  What is Friday again?

As the lock down gets more and more normal and becomes less and less of a colossal upheaval… well let me rephrase, the colossal upheaval becomes less and less of a 24 hours a day obsession I feel like I can start drawing some conclusions.  Purely personal conclusions, obviously.

The work days feel long.  The work weeks, however, go by really, really fast.  It’s almost as though the clock just stops between 9:00am and 5:30pm.  The rest of the time it’s on overdrive.  I am still getting up and going through my normal morning routine.  I have been ready to start the day by 7:30am every day, which is when I would need to leave the house to get to the office on time.  This morning at around 6:00 I joked to my wife that if this keeps going for long enough I’ll start getting out of bed at 8:59 and punching into work at 9:00.  For now, I’m still ready to go at the usual time.

The 90 minutes or so before work lets me have an actual breakfast, instead of the usual breakfast bar in the car, and I can read the news or watch a TV show or do some chores before I start my day.  Those 90 minutes FLY by though.  If I blink they are gone.  It’s the same with the time after work.  I punch out after 5:30, make dinner with my beautiful wife, and then go to bed.  Not really, but the time flies so fast if feels like that.

As for weekends?  Blink… missed it.

This weekend is a dad weekend for the kids.  They left the house early today because Harry has an online appointment with his diabetes doctor.  It always sucks when they leave for a weekend, but given the current circumstances it sucks extra bad now.  We won’t see them again until Wednesday.  Who knows what the state of the world will be by then?  It sucks mightily.

Want to know what’s worse then all of the terrible stuff that’s already going on?  Yesterday when we woke up it was snowing out.  We didn’t get much, less than an inch, and it had all melted by mid-morning.  If that’s not evil enough, we’re supposed to get more tonight.  The forecast is calling for a couple of inches of heavy wet snow.  You know what, mother nature?  You can just go kiss my enormously fat ass, m’kay?  You can just go eat a big bag of dicks.

I need something to cheer me up.  Where the hell is my cat?