Another Request for Happy Thoughts

I think this is the third time in two weeks that I have had to ask for this, but if you’re finding you have some cosmic positivity lying around that you can spare, could you send some my mother’s way today? She’s in the hospital right now. This one isn’t directly related to the last two trips, but maybe it is. I don’t know.

I’m a little late to the happy thoughts request this time. She got to the hospital while I was on the road to work and it sounds like they are already prepping her for discharge. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong this time, which is great, but it’s still really scary. Every little bit helps, right?

Thanks, internet people. It’s appreciated.

Looking Ahead

It’s the end of my lunch break on Friday. I’m looking ahead to the weekend. What’s going on?

We have a problem in our kitchen and someone is coming over to take a look and maybe give an estimate. We will all be masked and distanced and I really hate having people invade our Covid bubble but what can you do. After that I am going to bring some groceries over to my parents. Again, masks and distance. Outside of that?

One song needs rhythm guitars. 11 songs need lead guitars. One song is ready for vocals. At least six songs do not exist and need to start existing.

Other than that? I heard snow could be a thing this weekend. I choose to ignore that as even the slightest possibility. No thank you. The yard was covered with snow when I left the house yesterday morning. By the time I got home it was all gone. All of it. This morning I saw the temperature reach 60 degrees. It’s now 37 and dropping like a stone. Cold in February sucks, but it’s better than cold and snow. No snow. Pretty please with sugar on top.

Oh yeah, one other insignificant thing. The Walking Dead comes back on Sunday night. To paraphrase Adam Sandler (actually, more like steal a lyric from Adam Sandler), Zombies for me. Zombies for you. Like to kill zombies in an old brown shoe.

I am so ready for some weekend right now. So ready.

To Do List Complete After All

I had three things I wanted to accomplish today and a couple that would be nice to do. I thought I was going to be left with just one of the main three finished, but here we are with all three effectively done.

I wanted to go to my doctor’s not-appointment this morning. I did that. I wanted to get my haircut, and I wanted make a short visit to my parents. I wussed on the haircut and never even called to make an appointment. Jen came to the rescue and did it! I think this is the third or fourth time since the pandemic started and I am always left feeling incredibly thankful that she would take on such a horrifying job. Thank you, my love! It looks great! As for my parents, the excuse for the visit was grocery shopping. Just a thing or two that I could bring them. Well, the stuff they asked for wasn’t available anywhere we could find so I was shit out of luck. I talked to them this afternoon and they said to come over anyway. I told them I could only stay for a few covid-safe minutes and they said that was fine. So I got to make a short visit anyway, even without an excuse!

The other things on the would be nice list were car music, which was a big no (tomorrow though?), bringing in the Poland Springs water delivery, which hasn’t been done yet because they delivered just before I left for my parents, and after I got back it was hair cut time. The bottles are outside, I’ll get them shortly. The only other thing left is to cook dinner, which I am going to do right now.

Go!

Almost Cut My Hair

I didn’t wuss out on the weight loss thing today, but I am going to wuss out on the hair cut. I am beyond desperate for one but the Covid question has me freaking on an irrational level. You know how it is. Jen is going to cut it for me. She’s already cut her own today and it looks great.

The other task for today is crumbling before my eyes as well. We are trying to get ice cream sandwiches to bring over to my parents. We can’t find any. We’ll keep trying, but the pickings are slim. Shit. Its a little thing and I wanted to come through. Shit.

Anyway, here is the song of the day…

To Do Tomorrow

  • Car music before work!
  • Put out the trash barrels (probably before the car music)
  • Empty the wetvac and clean up whatever the dehumidifier doesn’t get tonight
  • Empty the dehumidifier
  • Go to work
  • Meetings most of the day but still need to work on the huge division-wide nightmare of an issue (that we totally have in hand at the moment… barring any unforeseen problems)
  • Show the plumber where I think the source of Lake Asshole is
  • Make dinner with my love
  • Have dinner with my love
  • Maybe pay a quick visit to my parents’ new place (I still need to post that huge thing I wrote back on September 3rd, explaining all that went on, but posting that is not on this to do list)
  • Maybe, if time allows, track a few guitar parts or maybe mix another song. I mixed two songs tonight. I shared the one that sucked least.
  • Try to decide if entries in a bulleted list should end in a period or not. What do the grammar nazis say? I think it should be punctuated, but when I do it just feels wrong.
    • See what I mean?
  • Go to sleep and then do it all again on Wednesday

Guilt

We were originally thinking of keeping me isolated until tomorrow night. I was going to take another Covid-19 test, both rapid and PCR, and when the rapid came back negative I would be in the clear. Today, after a little consultation with the CDC, we decided to stretch that to Friday. I cancelled my test appointment and rescheduled for Friday morning. It’s just another day and a half, and while we all agree it is likely a massive overreaction, it just feels a little safer and a little smarter. I just wish it didn’t feel like such a crushing blow. Come on, Robert. It’s only about 36 hours more.

On top of all of the other shit though, it just adds to all the guilt. I should be able to do more for my parents. I should be able to do more for Jen. I should be able to do more to keep everyone safe while still helping with everything that needs help. Shit, man. I shouldn’t really feel this guilty, but I do. It’s weighing me down and making me tired all the time.

I feel like I need a good, solid win. Followed by a good, solid, long (permanent?) vacation to someplace where it never gets too cold and snow is a fairy tale told to kids to scare them into being good… or something like that.

Ah, hell. I think I’m just tired. I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning. I did get my 30 minutes of exercise in today, so hopefully that will lead to a really good night’s sleep.

Wish me luck.

Step Taken

Just heard from my brother. The thing that was supposed to happen today that represents another step toward the end of our long familial struggle happened today. He said it seemed to go well. He mentioned a couple of times that everyone is on the same page. Us… Them… Those other folks too… all on the same page.

Good news.

Back at it Tonight

I am going to be back at my parents house tonight. I’m trying to be optimistic and keep my head together but there are a couple of things going on at work that are seriously getting under my skin. I’m trying to be helpful but it’s just not working. I don’t know why or how, I just know that I’m about to take a nutty off the deep end of life.

I’m trying to eat my lunch but the universe just won’t let me. To make matters worse, I just dropped a pretzel on the floor. What a sad waste of a delicious snack food.

Oh, and the Red Sox are playing the Yankees right now and the Yankees are up 2-0 after two innings. Yippee.

On the up side, another small step toward a solution to the parent health care problem is scheduled to happen later today. It’ll be wrapped up before I get there so I will be sending red head vibes and crossed fingers from home.

I don’t want to be in a perpetual state of freak out, or an endless state of annoyed. I just want things to be manageable, you know?

Okay, I am going to finish my lunch now. Wish me luck.

Song Number 16

Here’s another new song. This one is better than most if not all of the others. At least I think so right now. I’ll likely change my mind later.

Both of my parents are asleep. They both fell asleep with a TV on. Dad is in the living room. I need to sleep in the living room. I can’t find the remote. I think he might be laying on it. I can’t sleep with headphones on. Insert the sigh of frustration here. At least he got up and walked around on his own, including a trip to the bathroom. No assistance from me was needed at all. That is huge. Super huge. What a relief.

Granted, he fell asleep with the news on, and this network ran the same 30 minute news program at 9:00, 9:30, and 10:00. I think I am going to hear the same things maybe five times before the talk shows come on. Gross.

I’m Here

I’m here at my parents house again. Mom is here. Dad is here. I am here. Everything has been okay since dad came home on Tuesday, but I’m sitting here patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or, I’m waiting for the hammer to fall. However you want to put it.

HBO Max has released The Suicide Squad today. Tonight, actually. I think they brought it live at 7:00pm. The reviews are good. The first movie was… eh. Nothing special. This one was made by the same guy who made Guardians of the Galaxy so maybe some of the magic will rub off?

18 minutes until meds distribution.

Jen and Harry are out college supply shopping. Jen is worried about Covid. We’re all worried about Covid, but she and Harry are both vaccinated. Frankly, all the non-vaccinated people can suck it. Take the friggin’ vaccine, you selfish pricks.

What was I talking about?

Oh well, I think I’ll go make sure all of the door alarms are set and get them their pills. Dad needs a snack with his.

Right then, I’ll talk to you later. There might be a new song to share. We’ll see where the night leads us.

I miss Jen and Harry and Bellana and Patches and I want to go home.