Flashback

I just had an unsettling parent sitting flashback. It probably has more to do with being really tired than anything else, but here’s the story…

There are exactly two drinks that I chose to drink at home. One is Diet Pepsi because regular Coca~Cola (my personal drug of choice) is the primary reason why I am as grotesquely fat as I currently am. The other is grape flavored water. We have a Poland Springs cooler which is amazing. I fill up a water bottle with spring water and then poor some of that liquid flavoring stuff into it. Fruit Punch is good. Lemonade is all right if you get the right brand. Grape flavoring rules all. Unfortunately it’s expensive and I am trying to cut down on how quickly I blow through bottles of it by just sometimes drinking plain old, boring spring water.

That’s the first back story. Here’s the second. During the parent sitting adventure I would take a water bottle full of the delicious grape flavored water. I would also bring a second water bottle, but it would not be drinking water. It would be distilled water for my CPAP machine.

(Pause for a second to check on work. I’m still working. We were supposed to start around 4:00pm on Saturday. We instead kicked off our piece of the puzzle at 11:00pm. It’s 2:10am on Sunday and I’m still going strong.)

Here’s the flashback moment. Since dinner time I have had two 32 ounce water bottles full of the delicious grape flavored spring water. I don’t think I am going to bed any time soon and I was dealing with a little dry mouth so it was time for more water. I decided to go without the grape goop this time and just have boring plain water. I wanted to use a clean bottle though so that I didn’t get that little hint of flavoring left over from the last go-round.

I went out to the kitchen and opened up the cabinet to get a new water bottle. The first one I saw is the one I used to keep the distilled water in on parent sitting nights. I saw it there on the shelf and thought that I can’t drink out of that, it’s for the CPAP machine. Woah, wait a tick. I’m not parent sitting tonight. Sure, I am overly tired and my brain is starting to slip into autopilot, but that was weird. I was 100% positive that I could not use that particular bottle because it wasn’t for drinking.

In protest against the way that the parent sitting experience made me feel I took that bottle, filled it up with clear, clean Poland Springs water, and then chugged the fucker.

(Pause to check on work again. The two current utilities are still cranking along. Good good good)

On a totally unrelated note: I finished Saturday’s 30 minutes of exercise before work took off at about 11:00. Knowing that a lot of what I am doing tonight involves kicking off programs and then waiting for them to finish, and knowing that some of them would likely run for an hour or so, I decided to start Sunday’s exercise as soon after midnight as I could. I’m already up to 21 of my 30 minutes. When one of the two programs running completes I am going to kick off another one, and after I do that I am going to walk that last nine minutes. Well, some of it at least. It would be cool to have my 30 minutes in before the sun comes up. It would not be cool to make that a regular thing, but just this once? Groovy.

To Do Tomorrow

  • Car music before work!
  • Put out the trash barrels (probably before the car music)
  • Empty the wetvac and clean up whatever the dehumidifier doesn’t get tonight
  • Empty the dehumidifier
  • Go to work
  • Meetings most of the day but still need to work on the huge division-wide nightmare of an issue (that we totally have in hand at the moment… barring any unforeseen problems)
  • Show the plumber where I think the source of Lake Asshole is
  • Make dinner with my love
  • Have dinner with my love
  • Maybe pay a quick visit to my parents’ new place (I still need to post that huge thing I wrote back on September 3rd, explaining all that went on, but posting that is not on this to do list)
  • Maybe, if time allows, track a few guitar parts or maybe mix another song. I mixed two songs tonight. I shared the one that sucked least.
  • Try to decide if entries in a bulleted list should end in a period or not. What do the grammar nazis say? I think it should be punctuated, but when I do it just feels wrong.
    • See what I mean?
  • Go to sleep and then do it all again on Wednesday

Home

I’m home. I’ve been home for an hour or so.

Without saying anything that might jinx things, or giving specifics, last night was most likely my last parent sitting shift. There has been a plan in the works to resolve their health care needs for a while now and those plans should be reaching their conclusion in the morning. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, insert your please don’t jinx anything spell or hex or whatever it is here.

I’ll give more precise details after it’s all done, but suffice to say that it should be over tomorrow, and last night was my last overnight. My sister is there now so she gets the last shift overall. We’ll all be at the house in the morning to carry it through the next step, but then that should be the end of the overnight stuff. It won’t be the end of everything, just the regularly scheduled overnights.

I’m so tired right now that I am not sure if anything I’m writing is making any sense, I just know that I need it to be over and we’re so close I can smell it and I am absolutely terrified that something is going to go wrong and fuck it all up.

Please please please don’t let anything go wrong and fuck it all up.

Still Here

I just gave out the 8:00pm pills. I knew I was going to be here late tonight but I had no idea it was going to be this fucking late.

I’m so fucking mad right now.

Wrapping Up

My parent sitting shift is coming to an end soon. It’s going to run a smidge late tonight, I think but that’s okay. I still don’t feel comfortable (or confident) in sharing what’s been happening, though the images from the last 24 hours probably paint a pretty good picture.

After my three hours and 20 minutes of sleep overnight last night, I have been more or less taking Diet Pepsi via an IV directly into my veins. Anything to keep my system as caffeinated as humanly possible. Give me that caramel colored, carbonated, caffeinated, gold.

Further proof that things are changing on the parent sitting front, I am going home tonight and coming back in the morning. Current theory is I’ll get here at some time between 8:00 and 9:00. I’m sure there will be further discussion between the siblings tonight. I might be asleep though. I’ll likely be sleep-texting or something 21st century like that.

I was off work today and most of the goings on were wrapped up before noon. That means I had a lot of time to mess around with 50/90. I got some work done, but not as much as I should have. The whole no-sleep thing held me back a little, I think.

I’m sure there are other things I would normally write about at this point, but I think I am going to wrap it up and put my computer away. Jen and I are going to have a simple dinner tonight. I miss her like crazy after being away for 24 hours. I wanna go home. I wanna see her. I need to give my sweetie a hug (or two).

Right then, clicking Publish now. Until next time….

Example

Dad wanted some leftovers for lunch. He and mom were looking in the fridge but couldn’t find it.

Rob: Someone might have thrown it out.
Mom: What?
Rob: (louder) Someone might have thrown it out.
Mom: Someone might have thrown it out.
Dad: What?
Mom: (louder) Someone might have thrown it out.
Dad: I know.
Rob: (pulls a little more hair out of his head)

No Sleep

I got three hours and 20 minutes of sleep last night. More like this morning. I was sleeping deeply enough that I didn’t wake up when my father kicked over his walker in his sleep, but outside of that….

It’s gonna be a tough day.

Go to Bed, Damn It

My mother went to bed around 9:00. My father fell asleep a little before 11:00. I thought it was going to be an easy night. Then my mother got out of bed at 11:00 and strolled on out to the kitchen. She got a snack and went back to her room. A few minutes later she got up and got another snack and went back to her room. A few minutes later she went out to the kitchen, which is full of boxes and furniture right now and decided to rearrange the coffee k-cups. Umm… the fuck? The she decided to just lean over the counter and stay there… for about half an hour. Just standing there. Sure, she fell asleep for a bit. I woke her up and told her to go to bed and she didn’t believe me when I said she fell asleep. She swore up and down that she wasn’t even remotely tired. Umm.. you were fucking snoring. She got pissed and said she was wide awake. Go to fucking bed, I wanted to scream, but instead just kept suggesting it calmly. Eventually she did, but I am pretty sure she’s still sitting up in that weird half asleep/half awake thing she does.

Nope. I just heard her moving around in her room. I think she laid down. Fucking finally! Go to bed, damn it! So that I can go to bed too! I have to be up before the fucking sun tomorrow and I am exhausted. ARRGHHH!


The amount of swearing in this post is definitely an over reaction. I’m not that pissed off, really. I’m just tired and I want this to be over. I want to go home.

Not yet

It is pouring rain like the end of the world out there. The remnants of Ida have arrived.

I really want to go to sleep. I’m completely out of gas. My “bed” is made and I’m ready, but the laundry isn’t done and my mother is awake and walking around. It’s not a pain thing tonight, she just won’t sleep.

I’m assuming the pillow case belongs to my nephew, but who knows. It could be dad’s. His pillow case has trucks on it.

Every Inch of Me Hurts

Did you see my last post? Can you deduce what’s going on based on it? If I told you that every single cell in my body is sore right now and that I am drenched with sweat from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, would that help you figure it out?

If all of the subtext doesn’t give it away then you’re shit out of luck because I ain’t typing it until everything is over and done with. I’m pretty sure we’re past the point of no return now, but there is no way on this Earth that I am jinxing things. No way at all.

I got to my parents house at about 6:40 tonight and it was more or less balls to the wall until about 9:30 or so. My brother and sister were here too and they were in the same boat. I screwed up my regular intermittent fasting schedule tonight (he says as he stuffs a miniature Hersey bar into his maw). I was supposed to start fasting at 9:00pm but at 9:30 I had gone 3.5 hours without eating and after all the physical labor I was going to faint with hunger. So the fast will start late tonight, and very likely end early tomorrow. It’ll probably remain screwed up through Friday as well. After that I might be able to get back on track.

Speaking of food, at dinner tonight we were able to do a watch party with Harry. We watched season one episode four of What If. It was dark. Like… really dark. They are saying the second Doctor Strange movie is going to be a straight up horror movie, and if that’s the case tonight’s episode may have been a warm up to prepare everyone. I’m talking dark, but still really good.

What else is going on tonight? I don’t expect I’ll be getting a lot of sleep tonight. I’m super wound up tonight and I have to be up before dawn(ish) tomorrow. I have to do a little laundry tonight, and I want to get some 50/90 writing in to sort of calm my fat ass down a little. Maybe I’ll write something dark and blame What If.

Okay. To the laundry I go. We’ll figure the rest out later. Fingers crossed and no jinxes, dig?