Definitely Asleep

I’m hearing the sweet, sweet sounds of snoring coming from my mother’s room. She’s asleep. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but now that it has… relief. My mother called my father at the hospital right when all of this shite was kicking off, a little before 9:00. We spoke a little. He had suggestions for things to do to try to help and I was already on them. We were definitely on the same page. He called back a few minutes ago. When I told him she was asleep he sounded as relieved as I felt. I hope he’s able to get some sleep now too.

Vegas is up 5-2 now. Five minutes left in the third. When this game ends, however it ends, it will leave Toronto and Montreal as the only first round series left. I can’t really root for both of those teams to lose, can I?

I’m really tired but I’m a little afraid to go to bed. I’m not sure what to do after this game ends (Vegas just scored into an empty net to make it 6-2. I have the sound off and this is literally the first non-Bruins game I’ve watched this season. Apparently whoever scored that empty net goal completed a hat trick. It’s raining hats in Vegas). I still have the last 15 minutes of today’s That Pedal Show to get through, but that will require headphones and that scares me a little. Maybe I’ll risk it.

Things are looking good right now but my fingers are still totally crossed.

Fingers Crossed

My mother was having a pretty rough night. Not the worst I’ve seen, but really not good. I had to give her the extra pain med, only two hours after she had the main pill. She stopped pacing around 10:30 and she was able to lie down. There hasn’t been any noise from her room since around 11:00 (half an hour ago) when I heard some snoring. That’s good news.

The Bruins won.
The Red Sox won.
Mom was asleep by 11:00.

These are a few of my favorite things.

G’night everyone!

Bad Night

I got to my mother’s house around 6:30pm yesterday. My sister filled me in on how she’d been during the day and she was fine. No supplemental (physician approved) pain meds, no physical complaints beyond the norm. One little memory lapse, but that’s normal.

Shortly after my sister left to go home, my mother started complaining about pain. She got her regular pain meds at 8:00pm and I thought it would be okay from there. It takes a while to kick in, but once it does she’s usually all right for the night. Usually.

By 9:30 she’d had the physician approved supplemental pain med and it wasn’t helping. Her doctor told her that if the pain ever gets too much to sit in a hot shower and just let the water run over it. She did that last night and it did not help. There are two other physician approved, prescribed supplemental meds that she holds in reserve for bad nights. I thought I could tell which one she needed just by the way she was moving around, but she didn’t want it. She wanted my dad. I texted him around 10:00pm to see if he was still awake and he called almost immediately. They talked for a few minutes, which she said helped her even if it doesn’t help the pain (aww), and we decided to go with the other reserved, prescribed, physician approved med. Dad asked me to call back in 30 minutes to give an update.

For 29 minutes nothing changed. She was pacing around the house because sometimes the pain won’t let her sit still. Just as I was reaching for the phone though she went into her room, turned off the TV, closed the door, and got into bed. Hmmm… Dad called a minute later. She was still awake, but she was calm and seemed to be relaxed. A few minutes later I could hear her snoring a little. I told dad to go to sleep. I hope he did.

I, however, was freaked. Back when I was nana sitting on Friday nights, there were times when she was bad like this, but on those nights dad always came home. I had the experienced safety net. I didn’t have that last night. I sat in the living room in the chair closest to her bedroom door with at least one ear firmly focused on her.

She had conked out around 10:30. I didn’t lay down until about 12:30. I slept for an hour, woke up to go to the bathroom (because I’m old now and that’s what old people do). An hour later I woke up again. This time I saw that her bedroom door was open. She was asleep in bed, but I had clearly missed her getting up at some point. An hour later I woke up again. This time it was 3:30am. She was in the kitchen making breakfast. I got up and asked her if she knew what time it was. She did. She said that she had been asleep since 8:00 so getting up a bit before 4:00 was normal. I told her she didn’t go to sleep at 8:00, she went to sleep at 10:30 and was having a really bad night. She said that didn’t happen.

She sat at the dining room table to eat her breakfast and I sat in the living room listening. After half an hour or so she was sound asleep at the table. I didn’t wake her up. I can’t imagine it was comfortable, but she clearly needed to sleep and I wasn’t going to interrupt. It was after 4:00am by then. My alarm was set for 6:00. I goosed it up to 6:45 and went to sleep. I woke up around 5:30 for a minute or two, long enough to see that Mom was back in bed sound asleep, then woke up again around 6:15 and I’ve been up ever since.

She gets her next round of pills at 8:00am. 15 minutes from now. I really don’t want to wake her up, but there’s pain meds in the morning batch and I don’t want her to miss them.

Happy Friday morning, everyone!

Note: If you didn’t figure it out by the post above, all of the medications she takes are prescribed, and all of the medication delivery plans we follow came from the doctors who prescribed said medications. We aren’t making this shit up on our own.

I Brought It

I brought the CPAP machine with me. It’s in its case…

I think I’m afraid to use it though. My mother has been having a really bad night. She finally fell asleep a little while ago, but I’m afraid if I use the machine, the background noise it makes plus the deeper sleep it brings I won’t hear her if she wakes up.

Catch 22, yeah?

Duh

I’m at my mother’s house, nana sitting for the night. As soon as I pulled up to the house I realized I forgot my Air Pods Pro at home. Damn it. I’ve sort of been relying on the transparency setting to let me listen to music or podcasts while I work while still being able to hear what my mother is up to.

Duh. You dope.

Random Birthday Thought

I’ll try not to do this all day today, but here is a random birthday thought.

Why is the focus on the person who was born and not on the mother who gave birth to him/her?

People wish me a happy birthday and that’s nice and I appreciate it and all, but my mother did all of the work. All I did was use my already gigantically fat head to try to tear her a new one and then after it was over all I did was cry. My mother did all of the actual work. Why do mothers get overlooked on their childrens’ birthdays? It’s down right criminal.

So Happy My Birthday, Mom.

A Little Taste

My sister and brother have been spending as much time as possible with my mother over the last seven days. They have experienced the full force of her behavioral changes directly. Due to quarantining, I have not been there. I’ve only been able to pitch in with a little bit of housework at my parents house while everyone else was at the hospital.

I got a tiny taste of it today. My father called me. He said my mother wanted to talk to me and he asked me if I remembered the Boy Scout Motto. I did… Be Prepared.

She said she wanted to see me but understood why I couldn’t come over. I was very thankful for that. She also said she didn’t know what was wrong with her. I said we were working to figure it out and the medication would help. She was on the verge of tears the whole time.

Yeah, that sucked. Hard. My thanks and appreciation toward my brother and sister cannot be overstated. They are dealing with it all. My father too. He’s been dealing with everything for years.

I feel so useless. It’s necessary, but still… damn it.