Tag: health

A Hiccup in the Plans

Hello and welcome to March 1st, everyone. The RPM Challenge is over. Well… technically working on March 1st is allowed, but I don’t.

Last time I posted here I said I had two songs to mix and then I’d be done with everything that I wanted to have done. I managed to mix one of them and then, around 7:30 last night, it went bad. I had one of those episodes where my vision went blurry and I started getting a headache. I went to bed, turned off all of the lights, buried my head under the blankets, and called it a day. I had just finished dinner when it started, but I was still seven grams of protein away from my daily goal. I missed it for the day, but not by much. I’m not that worried about it.

I slept from 7:45 to 3:30. I woke up, put my watch on the charger (it was at 33%), filled up the tank on my CPAP machine, stepped on the scale for the Wednesday weigh in (more on that later), and went back to sleep until about 5:20. Then I got up, got dressed, filled up my water bottle, updated my food tracking spreadsheet and my weight tracking spreadsheet, jogged in place for 40 minutes or so (pronounced yogged, with a soft “j”), watched the new episodes of The Mandalorian and The Bad Batch, packed up my laptop, and started my day.

Wednesdays are in the office days now so I have to get a move on so I can get out onto the road about 50 minutes from now. I have to prep a lunch and a breakfast, refill the water bottle, shower, get dressed, clean off the car, bring in the trash barrel (assuming the city picked up the trash during the snow yesterday, not sure if they did or not), and get going.

My headache is still there, a little bit, but it’s better after hydrating myself some. My eye sight is normal again too. I just have to watch out for crap like that. It’s not fun at all.

Okay, let’s get a move on.

Week 42 Weigh In

It’s Wednesday and Wednesday is Weigh In Day. My gastric bypass surgery happened 42 weeks ago today. What’s the latest news? We’ll, I’ll tell ya.

It feels like things might be leveling off. I am still down this week, but for the second week in a row the loss isn’t that different than what I was seeing years ago when I was on Weight Watchers, or WW as it’s now known. About a pound a week. In the old days the hope was half a pound each week. Last week I was down 1.8 pounds. This week it’s 1.4. So better than the WW days, but not that much better. I have mentioned a few times this week that I have been eating a lot more since my mother went into the hospital at the end of January. I am trying to cut back a little but results have been slightly less than successful.

So I am down 1.4 pounds. I haven’t broken 220, but I am right on the edge. The scale read 220.6 this morning. So close. Hopefully next week that 10’s column will flip. There were milestones elsewhere though. My BMI went from 27 to 26.8, inching closer to the magical 25. My weight lost since the surgery flipped the 10’s column and hit 210.8. The total weight lost since the first weigh in flipped the 10’s column last week and now stands at 231.4. I suspect it will be a while before I flip the 10’s columns on the totals again. We’ll see. I have an appointment with my surgeon next week so I will be sure to ask what comes next as far as leveling off is concerned.

So that’s the latest on the weight loss front. Now I just have to get my ass in gear on the RPM Challenge stuff. So much to do and almost no time left to do it. This weekend needs to be uber productive. Fingers crossed.

Who Didn’t See That Coming

Three days after my mother’s wake and the announcements have started. My cousin tested positive for Covid-19. My sister’s sister-in-law also tested positive for Covid-19.

With all the hand shaking and hugging going on at the wake and at the funeral, it was inevitable that Covid would be passed around. Yippee.

Jen and I both tested negative this morning. So far, so good for our house. Fingers crossed it continues, and fingers crossed it doesn’t spread any further.

Stupid effing pandemic ruining my mother’s services.

Day Two

We made it through the wake last night without issue. Dad and I got there at 3:00 for the 4:00 start. I didn’t expect him to be able to hold out for long but he made it until a little before 8:00, which was the end of our time anyway. I was very proud of him.

We saw family and friends and friends of the family and many many more. The turn out to say goodbye to my mother was wonderful and heart warming. It wasn’t exactly a social event, but it made me realize how starved I’ve been for random interactions with other people over the coarse of the pandemic. Sure, Robbie the introvert was thriving stuck at home for three years, but there was definitely something missing, and I am starting to really need that something now.

The funeral is this morning. Three hours from now. I need to take a shower and get dressed and then the four of us will head out together. We need to be at the funeral home by 8:45 so that we can be in the procession to the church. The church and the cemetery are both in Tewksbury, but they are on the opposite ends of town, so there is a little drive. After the cemetery we will have a lunch at the same venue Jen and I had our wedding reception. Again, in Tewksbury. It’s going to be a Tewksbury kind of day.

Again, I am nervous even though there really isn’t anything to be nervous about. Again, I am worried about how my father will do. Last night was a long haul. I know it took a lot out of me, I can’t imagine how wiped out he’s going to be today. Whatever he needs to get through, we’ll do for him. Even if that means leaving early.

Wish us luck today. It’s going to be rough.

More Bad Extended Family News

It never rains, it pours. My mother, Ellen, had two sisters and a brother. Her older sister, Joan, passed away in November after an illness that was alarmingly similar to what my mother went through. My mother passed away six days ago. Her brother, Jim, has been ill for a while and has been in and out of the hospital over the last three weeks or so. We are not sure, but we got some news today that makes it look like things may be turning for the worse for him.

I feel so bad for my Aunt Nancy. She lost both of her sisters in a three month span and now her brother’s health may be failing as well. As painful as it is for us, it must be so much worse for her.

Week 40 Weigh In

Week 40? Are you serious? We’re only 12 weeks away from capping off the first year? How is that possible? How does time move so quickly without all of us falling down dizzy all the time?

I weighed myself this morning through a hale* of technological cock ups. Well, one technological cock up. The scale in the bedroom is Bluetooth and connects to my iPhone. It’s nice. The app on my phone calculates my BMI and updates the Health app so I don’t have to do either thing manually. When I got out of bed this morning I tapped my phone to wake it up and nothing… it was off. I tried to turn it on again and nothing… it was dead. I plugged it in and tried again and nothing… it was bricked. The fuck?

I stepped on the scale and started my day without my phone. Eventually Google gave me a tip for tricking it into restarting and it worked. She’s been A-Okay ever since. I haven’t updated the Health app though. I still need to do that, but I have updated my Google Spreadsheet and I have all the numbers I need.

There are numbers, but there aren’t a whole lot too them. I am down this week, but only 0.6 pounds. I will chalk that up to already having a mid-week weigh in on Saturday so it’s not a full week. Also, yesterday was Jen’s birthday and I hit the snacks a lot harder than usual while celebrating. I’m not concerned. 0.6 pounds is a positive step in my book. I’m happy.

On Saturday when I did the nine month weigh in I was at 224.4. Today I am at 223.8. I will take it. Gleefully. The total since the surgery is now 207.6 and the total since the start is 228.2. My BMI went from 27.3 to 27.2. Again, all good stuff. Not world rocking stuff, but good stuff. I am pleased.

The next weigh in will be February 15th. That’s the day after Valentines Day as well as the day after something painful that I haven’t mentioned yet but probably isn’t hard to figure out based on the last couple of weeks worth of posts. That event includes a luncheon but I doubt I will be willing or able to eat anything there. I’m likely going to have a full day of protein supplements instead of actual food on the 14th. We’ll see how the diet shakes out that day.

*Is that the correct usage of “hale”? Should it be “hail”?

ADDENDUM: It just dawned on me… I weigh 223.8 and I have lost 228.2 since 1/19/22. That means I have lost more weight than I actually weigh. Holy shit Snacks! I am literally half the man I used to be! Queue that Stone Temple Pilots song!

Bad Day

Today has been a painful, emotional, difficult day. I’ll give details later, probably, but just know that as bad days go… this was one.

As I’ve done previously over the past couple of weeks, I am sharing cat pictures to distract myself from bad things. Enjoy my deflection…

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The cats are turning our house into a messy house.

I’m Confused and Conflicted and I Don’t Know What to Do

It looked like Mom took a turn for the worse last night. We all rushed over to her again and watched as her breathing got labored and she was moaning and rattling. Visiting hours ended. I could have stayed overnight again but I had to sleep and didn’t want to take up one of the three overnight visiting slots so I went home and went to bed. I slept for nearly eight hours but still feel exhausted. I also thought it was okay to leave because I had a gut feeling…

…and I was right. As the night wore on the breathing became more normal and the rattling almost stopped. She’s back to where she was when I stayed overnight on Friday/Saturday. I have to go back to work. I can’t miss a huge chunk of a third consecutive week. My boss and my boss’ boss both told me it was okay, but I can’t continue to do this for my own reasons. My conscience won’t let me. That means I can’t stay over night during the week either. I just can’t do it anymore.

We had a hospice nurse tell us that parents don’t die in front of their children. They hang on until the kids are out of the room and then go. I don’t believe that is factual at all. Is there anecdotal evidence to support the theory? Yes. Mountains of it. A little internet digging shows that there are zillions of people who claim this happened to them. Is there scientific evidence? Not that I see. I think people attribute cosmic interference to pure coincidence. Having said that, maybe it’s time to give in and embrace the anecdotes. Maybe it’s time to devote less time to the vigil.

I know what I have to do but I fucking hate that I am even considering it. I just want her to be at peace. I want her suffering to end.

Nine Month Weigh In

I got to the hospice facility at around 10:00am on Friday morning and didn’t leave until after 8:00am on Saturday morning. I can’t take that again. I just can’t handle it. My body and my brain are starting to rebel against the idea.

Fortunately it did not affect today’s monthiversary weigh in. You know it. Today is February 4th, my step son’s 20th birthday and my nephew’s 12th birthday, so it’s time for the monthly weigh in. On Wednesday for the weekly I weighed 226.8 pounds. Today, just three days later, I weigh 224.4. A difference of 2.4 pounds in three days. Yikes.

Total weight lost since the surgery nine months ago, 207 pounds. Total weight lost since the first check in on January 19, 2022, 227.6 pounds. My BMI went from 27.6 to 27.3.

Initially after the surgery my weigh loss goal was to weigh less than 400 pounds. When I achieved that my goal became weigh less than 300 pounds. When I achieved that my goal became lose 200 pounds since surgery. When I achieved that… what? I guess the goal now is to enter what the folks in the bariatric surgery facebook groups call Onederland. That is drop below 200 pounds and enter the 100 pound universe. I still have a ways to go before I get there. After that the goal is going to be get my BMI below 25. That will hit at about 190 pounds.

I’m optimistic I can reach those lofty goals. Onederland, here I come.