Tag: Harry Potter

Family Feud

The fuck?

My mother has Family Feud on the television right now. I’m not sure if she’s actually watching it, but it’s on.

I can’t see the TV but I can hear it. They were just at the end of an episode in the bonus money round, or whatever the hell they call it. One of the questions was, “how long is Harry Potter’s magic wand?”

First of all… magic wand? No. Screw you. It’s wand, not magic wand. What do you think this is, some stupid abracadabra story? Fuck you.

I didn’t hear what the first player gave as an answer. The second player said 12 inches. Moron. Then they gave the scores and the player got a good total off of the question. Uh uh, no way. Then Steve Harvey said that 12 inches was the number one answer.

Well fuck you right in your stupid fuck you. 12 inches? No. Everyone knows that Harry Potter’s wand is 11 inches long. ELEVEN INCHES. Not 12. Morons. It’s bad enough that the contestant said 12, but to learn that most of the people surveyed said 12 too?

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Fucking death eater sympathizers. There’s no hope for us.

One Hour Down

One Nana Sitting hour down, 23 or so to go.

Two items of note:

First, I friggin did it again. I forgot to bring a 12-pack of Diet Pepsi with me today. What a moron. Looks like it’s grape flavored tap water for me for the next 23 or so hours.

Second, and this has nothing at all to do with the current situation but is instead a comment on modern cinema… I guess…

The E Network is showing all of the Harry Potter movies today because wouldn’t you? Sorcerer’s Stone was just kicking off when I got here. I had a thought about it that never occurred to me before. Sort of a Marvel What If? kinda thought.

Harry and Draco Malfoy meet outside of the great hall for the first time on their first day of school. They are waiting to be escorted in by McGonagall so they can be sorted into houses. Malfoy is his normal, slimy, racist, entitled prick self right off the bat. He offers to show newbie Harry the ropes and extends his hand in friendship. Harry, not being a schmuck, brushes him off.

The thought I had at that point was this: What would have happened between the two of them if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin? We know the sorting hat considered putting him in that house but Harry asked it not to. If Harry had been a Slytherin, would their rivalry have continued throughout their school years the way it did? Would they eventually have become buds? Maybe not actual friends, but would they have tolerated each other? Would Malfoy have acted on his jealousy the way that Ron Weasley never really did?

Someone has to think of these things, you know? Should I write fan fiction? Maybe a short story about how Harry hooks up with Pansy Parkinson and Malfoy loses his shit over it? Hmmmm… how about no? Yeah, no.

Date Movie

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, AZ came out just after Jen and I started dating. We saw it together in the theater a bunch of times. It’s like the official date movie.

We are watching it tonight because love.

The Sunday Night Movie: Addendum

Jen, my love, just commented that Harry Potter #5 was the first movie we saw together on a date. Also, tomorrow is the 14th anniversary of our first date. We didn’t actually go to the movies on our first date, but the connection is solid none the less.

14 years tomorrow and I’m still nuts about her.

Harry Potter Blues

So have you read the script for the new Harry Potter play? I bought a copy on the day it was released, but I hadn’t read more than the first two scenes. Wednesday was the first day my step kids were at our house since the release and my step son had already finished it. He asked me, begged me, pleaded with me (I exaggerate some) to finish it so that we could discuss it.

I actually have a lot of work to do this weekend, but… my step son needed me. I dove into the script and read about 80% of it. Sadly, reading on an iPad does wonderfully awful things to my eyes and I am seeing double now and have lost the ability to see anything at all. My eyes are literally too tired to function.

I still have 20% of the text to get through. My step son needs me! He needs me to know the whole story! I can’t let him down! Harry Potter needs to be completed before the sun comes up!

The Pits

Want to know what the worst part of working from home while one of the kids is home sick?

He’s in the living room watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix right now.  I’m next door in the dining room starting my lunch break.

I really want to go into the living room and watch the movie with him.  Not being able to is just the pits.