Scary Demon Monster

I saw something scary in the cellar this morning. A demon from hell that is the scariest monster in the known universe.

I saw…

I can’t even type it, it’s so terrible…

I saw a house centipede.

Pause to give everyone some time to scream in abject terror for their very existence.

It was on the floor next to my pedal board in my music nook. I am pretty sure it was dead. It didn’t move as I approached it and if you know anything about house centipedes you know that they are the fastest muthas in the west. They don’t just let you walk up to them. When they see you coming, they bolt. This guy just sat there and even let my foot hover above him for a couple of seconds. Yeah, it was already dead.

If it wasn’t dead at that point though, it was certainly dead after I stepped on it. Squish, babie. One less demonic asshole in the world. Normally I would feel bad about squishing a little living thing, but these guys are so evil looking (and they scare the shit out of my wife) that I have sentenced all who enter my domain to death. Sorry, nature. I know they are actually good to have around because they eat all of the other bugs, but sometimes you cannot let evil like this exist, ya know?

Change of subject.

I am a dope. I also can’t tell time and I have a memory like a sieve. My wife is going to the office today. She told me she was leaving at 7:45. I made a note. I would make sure I got through my whole morning routine before then so that I could properly say goodbye to her.

I got up early and dashed down cellar to do my morning exercise. Success. I came upstairs and did a couple of things and then at the appropriate time I walked up to her office, where she was sitting at her desk, and was about to say that I was ready to wish her a good day whenever she was ready to go… and that was when I realized she said 7:45, not 6:45, and the current time was actually 6:45.

I am an idiot.

Well, at least I am ready to say goodbye when she is ready to go. I’ve got that going for me, right?

Longest Day Ever

Oh man, are you feeling it today too? Has today been the longest day in ages or what?

It’s Friday but I swear the clock is running slow. I think it’s only actually moving forward in time when I am looking at it. When I am not looking at the clock it is stopping itself somehow. I think the universe knows that I am just a few hours away from the weekend, and that I have a sick day booked on Monday (for a doctors appointment) so it’s actually a three day weekend for me… so it (the universe) is dicking with me.

What a jerk, eh? Hopefully it’s only affecting me and not all of you, dear readers. Hopefully your clocks are progressing appropriately.

Good luck out there, folks. It’s a weird one for sure!

Clock

I bought the clock in this picture two years ago when I had a Covid-19 scare and was quarantined in my step son’s room while he was away at school. Those few days sucked out loud. I bought the little clock from amazon because there wasn’t a clock in Harry’s room that wasn’t on a computer screen. When my isolation period ended the clock moved to our bedroom and later when the cellar rebuild was finished it moved down stairs to my new office space.

I noticed it was ticking really loudly this morning. Three hours later I realized the second hand wasn’t moving anymore. The battery wasn’t dead, but the clock apparently was.

Rest in peace, cheap piece of crap amazon clock. You served me very well over two years of life. I thank you.

Will I replace it?

Naw, probably not.

Food

I just finished eating 2.8 ounces of scrambled eggs. I feel okay. My stomach is a little funny, but I think that might be due to hunger more than anything else. I only managed about 11 grams of protein and that’s not enough so I will supplement later. We’ll see how that goes.

In honor of going back to soft food/puree stage, for breakfast at least, I also brought out this old friend.

Ah, the stopwatch. I remember you, old friend.

Crystal

I have a thing for clocks. My sister and brother-in-law gave me this for being a groomsman in their wedding. It doesn’t work but it’s fun to put it in the sun and watch it light up.

Two Desk Things

I wanted two things for my desk setup in Harry’s room. I wanted something to sit my headset on and I wanted a clock that I could see if I happen to not be sitting at the computer. I found super cheap-o’s on the Amazon. They came today.

The stand works, but the screws in the base don’t tighten all the way so the whole thing feels like it’s going to collapse at any moment.

The clock is a nice looking little thingie. I picked it because it was cheap and because I didn’t see anything in the listing that mentions an alarm. I don’t want an alarm clock. I was in a meeting at 1:00 when the alarm I didn’t realize I set went off. I found the button to shut it off, but will it go off again in the middle of the night? I’m guessing that’s a yes, cap’n.