I am not a superstitious person. I promise you that. Occasionally I talk about karma, but it’s always from the point of view of someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The reason for that is that I don’t believe in karma. Makes sense, right?
I don’t believe in any of that stuff. Why then, when I look at the long term weather forecast and see that it’s supposed to rain on the day of my surgery do I see it as a bad omen? Knock that shit off, red head. It’s not raining because it’s foretelling bad news. It’s raining because it’s Spring in New England.
You’re not that important, asshole.
It happens so often that I can’t believe I fall for it.
I put the Bruins on the TV and immediately they cough up the lead. It just happened again. I checked the score and they were up 2-0 over Pittsburgh. I do something else for a little while and, without me knowing it, Pittsburgh tied the game at 2. I bring up nesngo.nesn.com/ on the internet browser of my choice and BAM! Immediately Pittsburgh scores to take the lead.
Damn it! Why am I such a bad luck charm for the Bruins?? Why??
It happens so often. I’m doing something and I put on a Bruins game and they immediately give up a goal. More often than not they give up the lead as well.
Tonight Jen and I had dinner, chicken and quinoa and roasted green beans, and then watched an episode of Cobra Kai. After that we had a watch party with Harry to see the new episode of The Book of Boba Fett. I approve of the episode in general but I am kinda done with the two time period stuff. I know how he escaped I know how he survived, now I just want to see The Sopranos in Space… except for the scooter kids. I’m done with them too.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, The Bruins. So after the watch party Jen went to the office to play some Warcraft and kill some bad guys. I retired to the bed room to put away some laundry and watch episode seven of Yellowjackets (WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??). I opened up the NHL app on my phone and brought up the game cast (or whatever they call it) and saw the Bruins had a 2-1 lead over the Capitals. Awesome. As soon as the superlative formed in my tiny little brain the screen refreshed and Washington had tied the game at two.
Come on, Bruins. Let’s turn this around.
Last night, just before I was about to turn in for the night, I had a muscle spasm, or a cramp, or something in my gut that hurt like it hurts when a meteor crashes into your face. Oh my goodness, did that little sucker (whatever it was) hurt like 10 shades of hellish suck.
I’ve had this happen 2-3 times over the past 10-15 years and each time it is about 5-10 minutes of nightmare*. I don’t know what to do to relieve the pain so I get up and try to walk it off. That doesn’t help at all, but at least I am doing something. After a few minutes the pain calms down but whatever muscle is being the asshole is still twitching. Just as I start thinking I might be okay it fires up again and the whole thing starts over. After that it’s done. Last night the whole thing lasted less than 10 minutes and then I was able to lie down and sleep.
So that’s the first sign that today might suck. Here’s the second.
Last night I wrote a post saying that it was going to be horribly cold out this morning. The forecast was right. It is currently six degrees out. I should be happy that I put the barrels out last night and don’t need to go outside today, right?
We got a dusting of snow overnight. We have a grocery delivery coming this morning. I need to put ice melt down so the instacart person doesn’t slip. After all that shit last night, I still have to go outside this morning.
Here’s hoping that’s the last bad thing and that the rest of the day goes smoothly. Pretty please with sugar on top.
*That sentence is my attempt to use the most “-” characters in a single sentence ever. Did I set a new world record? Do we need to call the Guinness folks?
Okay, I’ve had enough of this shit. The universe is just kicking our ass over and over again. Right when we think we’re in the clear… Blamo.
We had a new water heater installed one month and two days ago. To celebrate the monthiversary, the furnace died.
Well… it didn’t die, per se. We had someone come in to give it a tune up and found that it’s leaking exhaust into the house through the ducts. Oh good. The tune up guys shut off the power to it and shut off the gas line to it and put a scary red tagger on it that says, NO!
So let’s recap. Leak in the cellar floods everything and ruins almost everything we had stored down there. Then the duct fell off the ceiling. Then the water header flooded everything again. Now the furnace is no longer usable.
Yeah. Hip Hip Hooray.
The good news, it’s not winter yet so we’ll be fine. Also, venting exhaust into the house is bad so that’s not happening anymore and that’s pretty awesome. The new furnace is coming on Thursday. That is really awesome. The new furnace is going to be much more energy efficient than the huge, ancient beast we’ve been using since we moved in here 11 years ago. Given all of that, this is absolutely worth it. I’m just tired of things going wrong.
In the end, I will look back on this kick in the balls as a good thing. I’m already pretty close to seeing it that way. Jen ordered a space heater to keep in her office. I will likely move my desk back to our bedroom, where there is a separate heater installed in the wall already, a smidge earlier than I had planned. Maybe not. It’s in the 50’s out right now. I might just put a sweater on and deal.
Everything is all right.
Twice in the last week or so someone at work has asked me about some obscure piece of functionality and I have replied that we don’t have to worry about it because no one on Earth uses that functionality and no one ever will… only to, a few days later, have a customer open a task because they are having a problem with that exact same obscure, never used piece of functionality.
It happened last week and it just happened again this morning.
I guess I am a technological jinx. I give up. I’m not answering questions anymore. I’m keeping my big, dumb, jinx mouth shut.
I turned on the Red Sox game and the Sox were leading the Orioles 1-0 in the bottom of the fourth inning. Chris Sale had pitched four innings retiring 12 of 12 Oriole hitters, striking out eight.
Now that I was watching though… in the top of the fifth he walked a batter, gave up a hit, and gave up a run. Why? Because I am a jinx, plain and simple.
Sorry about that, Chris Sale. Next time you’re half way through a perfect game I’ll put on the radio instead.
Somehow I failed to realize when I woke up today that it was Friday the 13th. I knew it was Friday. I am pretty sure I knew it was the 13th. Amazingly enough though, my idiot brain failed to put those two facts together.
Lately almost every day has felt like one of those, “I shoulda stayed in bed” days. Friday the 13th? It’s only 9:00am and I haven’t even started my work day yet… and I know that the day and the date together have no bearing on anything that will happen. They are just arbitrary names after all. Today just as easily could have been called Flumeday the Flibbtytenth. Still though…
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
When I woke up on Thursday September 12, 2013 the Boston Red Sox were in first place in the American League East Division with a magic number of eight.
When I woke up on Friday September 13, 2013 the Boston Red Sox were still in first place in the American League East Division with a magic number of eight.
Why is it that yesterday that magic number seemed tiny and all but a given (not actually a given, this is Boston after all), but today it seems massive. Eight seems gigantic, like the black hole at the center of the Milky Way gigantic. Like unimaginably vast and infinite.
That, dear Internet, is the perfect description of what it means to be a Boston sports fan. Yesterday morning they were coming off a win and all was right with the world. Today they are coming off a loss and it’s nothing but doom and gloom and horror and terror. Sure, the fact that it’s Friday the 13th and I live in a house with a black cat might be having some influence on my thinking today, but mostly it’s just a typical Boston sports fan kinda thing.
Go Red Sox. Please.
I have a question about my Boston Bruins.
Why is it that almost every time I turn on the game, the B’s opponent immediately scores a goal? It just happened again. I came home from getting the kids at karate class, popped the game onto the radio, and BAM, Ottawa scores.
I fear our Stanley Cup dreams are slipping more each day.