Failure-Free

Daily writing prompt
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
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This is a loaded question. I had to think about it for a while and I can’t decide on one single answer.

What would I try to do if I was guaranteed not to fail. My first thought was a career change. I would become a professional musician, which was my plan when I was 18 years old. Sure, there really isn’t a functioning music biz anymore, but if I was guaranteed success I would go for it.

After that thought I took a step back and tried thinking bigger. I mean, I could do anything with a guarantee of success, why think so small? I could be an astronaut. That would be sweet. Why stop there? I could be a physicist and an engineer and design and build a faster than light engine and then be the first astronaut to visit another solar system. Yeah, now we’re talking!

How about this one. I could become a tech entrepreneur, buy twitter back from that musk nazi putz, remove all of the nazis from the user base, remove all of the disinformation and make the content guaranteed to be factually accurate so that the fascists can’t spread their idiotic lies, and on top of it all I could make a Musk/Bezos level salary and then spread great big gobs of money around to huge numbers of people who could benefit from it. Yeah, that would be fun. Screw you, fascists!

After that I started thinking that I was outside of the spirit of this particular writing prompt. Maybe it’s more looking for one time events. A single thing that I would normally be afraid to try that if I were guaranteed to succeed I would give a shot. Skydiving. That was the first thing that came to mind. I would never in a billion years want to jump out of a plane, but if I were guaranteed not to end up squashed like a bug against the very unforgiving ground, would I do it? Probably not, but maybe.

No… the more I think of it, the more I would go with the successful career in whatever passes for a music business today. That’s where I would put my guaranteed-not-to-fail energies.

The Fool

If you are looking for a gift to give me and you have a couple of million dollars burning a hole in your pocket, might I suggest bidding on this:

It’s a 1964 Gibson SG that was originally owned by Eric Clapton. He played this guitar with Cream. It is named The Fool, after the art team that painted it. It is probably the guitar that you hear when you listen to Cream’s second album, Disraeli Gears.

It is going up for auction soon. If we win Powerball tonight I will be bidding on this puppy. That’s a financially idiotic promise that I make to you all right here and now. Win the lottery tonight… bid on The Fool next month. Bank on it.

Weight Loss Goal

Daily writing prompt
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
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Right then, I have to make this quick. Today is my work from the office day and I have an actual morning commute ahead of me.

The hardest personal goal I’ve set for myself has to be losing weight. I had to take some brutally extreme measures to achieve it, but I got there… for now at least.

My whole life I’ve been overweight. I believe morbidly obese is the correct term. I was always able to lose some weight but I was never able to keep it off. You know, the way it is with almost everyone. I would lose 20 pounds over the course of a few months and then gain 30. I would lose 40 and gain 60. Lose 30 and gain 60. By the time I got to my mid-40’s, weighing 400 pounds was almost normal. I was so out of shape that simple tasks were becoming difficult. Walking up a flight of stairs would leave me out of breath and in pain. My back and my legs hurt all the time from carrying myself around. Once the pandemic hit the yo-yo weight loss went out of control. Suddenly weighing 450 pounds was becoming normal and I literally felt like I was going to die on most days.

At some point along the way I had talked to my doctor about weight loss surgery. I went to an information session at a clinic in Chelmsford, MA and it scared the holy hell out of me. The surgery itself was terrifying, but the work needed to be done afterwards to stay healthy was worse. It was so intimidating. I would have to watch every bite of food I ever eat for the rest of my life. I would have to monitor my intake of liquids and proteins forever and I would never be able to eat sugar again. Also, eating too fast or not chewing thoroughly enough could make me feel really sick for short periods of time. It all just felt like too much.

Then the pandemic happened. My father had a heart attack and my mother’s dementia was advanced beyond the point where we could take care of her. Suddenly mortality was very close by and very real. Suddenly my weight and my health as they were became much more terrifying than the weight loss surgery process. I went back to my doctor and then went back to the same clinic and five months later I went under the knife for gastric bypass surgery. I literally had a doctor butcher my digestive system.

It worked. I lost almost 250 pounds over about a year and a half and so far I have been able to maintain that loss. The work required to stay healthy is immense and it has been very difficult at times, but I feel like a different person and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. In the past I would have considered surgery as taking the easy way out. Now that I know how difficult the post-surgery world is, I no longer think it’s a shortcut or cheating. It’s a different sort of challenge than just dieting, but it’s still a difficult challenge.

Now all I have to do is stay on the right path for the rest of my life and I hopefully will maintain the achievement of my weight loss goal. Fingers crossed, right?

World Record Pace

I’m dizzy with speed and excitement.

I punched out of work at 5:31. I left the house to go to three stores at 5:40. I went to the UPS store and shipped a return item back to Amazon. I went to Home Depot and picked up an online order. I went to Best Buy and returned a laptop. I was home at 6:15.

Round trip with three store visits in 35 minutes! Holy crap! How did that happen? All three stores were on route 28 in Salem, NH. If I try to do the same trip in December it will take 5.5 hours, at least! Wow!

Sorry everyone, I just had to share this. It’s a traffic/retail miracle.