Screwed Up Routine

I overslept a little. I had a bit of an issue first thing. Nothing major, but it threw off my morning routine enough that I dumped the whole deal down the crapper. Instead of doing my 50 minutes or so of morning exercise I did 30 minutes of guitar playing. Bad for the physical health, but good for the mental health… or something like that.

I still managed to mess up the timing a little so that I had to rush through some of the morning routine things that I didn’t skip. I’m in the office today so there’s a bunch of office-day-prep things that need to happen.

I got in on time though, and I wasn’t planning on having time for much on the musical front today and I ended up with a song’s worth of guitar parts recorded. I’ll take that as a win.

I’m off tomorrow for my dad’s wake, but I have the morning to myself. I might get a hair cut. I will definitely iron a couple of dress shirts. I might play a shit load of guitar. I will definitely do about 50 minutes worth of exercise.

Which Me is Real?

My sister in law started a shared Google Photo Album where we can all add pictures of my father. One of my brother’s friends is going to make a slide show out of them that we will have running at the wake on Thursday.

I was looking through the album and I had a weird moment where my memory and reality sort of broke apart from each other. There was a picture of me from a couple of years before I had my weight loss surgery. I wasn’t even close to the 450 pounds I weighed when I finally decided to go under the knife, but I was probably 380 pounds or so. I was huge, though not quite as huge as I would eventually get.

Seeing that picture didn’t phase me in the least. I kept scrolling through the album and I eventually got to a photo from earlier this year. Father’s Day, to be precise. There was a picture of my father with my brother, my sister, and some other guy. I did a double take. The other guy was me. I didn’t recognize myself. It was the same me that I see in the morning now. It was post-surgery, 215-220 pound me. The current me. The new normal, real me. I didn’t recognize me.

I did recognize the dangerously overweight me as if it were the “real” me.

That didn’t bother me quite as much as being asked about my mother while talking about my father’s funeral did (as mentioned in a post from earlier today), but it disturbed me a bit.

Like… who am I? Who is the “real” me? Do I even know? Will I ever know?

Well, That was Painful

I did a little funeral planning today. My step daughter, Bellana, is going to sing a song at the service and I had to call the parish musical director to get a copy of the arrangement. I mentioned whose funeral it was and she got all sad. She knew my parents and extended her condolences. She said she hoped my mother was doing okay.

Well, in her defense, my parents stopped going to this church when they moved out of town about three years ago. The music director hadn’t seen or heard from them at all over that time. While my mother’s funeral a year and a half ago was in this very same church, I did not expect her to remember that.

Still… I’m already feeling pretty low over losing my father but then to have to share that my mother’s been gone for over a year. Yeah, that was a bit of a gut punch. Ouch, babie. Ouch.

Dad’s wake is the day after tomorrow. The funeral is the day after that.

Turn Around

I left the driveway for work at 7:40 or so. I drove until about 8:10 and then something came up at home and I had to turn around and head back. It took less than 10 minutes to get home.

And now you understand how Boston traffic works once Labor Day is over.

At least I took today’s photo a day pic. 3/365.

3/365

2024 50/90 Challenge Day 61/90

I put vocals onto five songs first thing in the morning. That’s all I got to for the day.

Today (day 62, Tuesday) and tomorrow are work in the office days so there won’t be a ton of time available. The next couple of summary posts are going to be thin. Just saying.

Labor Day Car Music

I made it out for some car music this morning. I recorded vocal parts for five songs and I also drew a crowd.

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There were also a lot of actual people around, just walking around the parking lot getting their daily exercise in. Leave me alone, people! Don’t listen to me singing! Don’t listen to me singing, damn it!

2/365