Category: health

Bedtime

My mother was asleep by 9:00 tonight. Thank goodness. There was no pain outbreak. Now we just have to hope she sleeps through the night.

One of the mouse traps was tripped about an hour ago. Nothing in it. There is still at least one Mickey among us. Great. I paid for a single but I guess I have a roommate.

I’m going to sleep. Fingers crossed I can get 6-7 hours of good sleep. Yippee.

Patiently Waiting

Here I sit, patiently waiting…

Patiently waiting for the severe thunderstorm to wipe us off the map.

Patiently waiting for my mother’s pain issues to come out and play for the night. She has already shown the initial signs.

Patiently waiting for Covid to go away so that we can go on vacation. Jen and I had a precious few minutes together after work and before I had to leave and we spent it watching a Disney World youtube channel. I wanna travel again.

Patiently waiting to go home, but I’ve got about 22 hours or so before that happens.

Okay, it’s time for the 8:00 o’clock pills. I’ll check in again later. Happy trails.

Don’t Wanna

I don’t want to go to my parents house tonight. I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna go.

*sigh*

My brother was there last night and he had a rough time. Not for the usual reasons though. There was a power line down just a little way down the road from the house. I heard it actually caused a fire. Power was out for hours. That means no air conditioner. No fan. No wifi. Hell, in other words. Mom’s pain went bad right after the power outage started too, just to make things worse.

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don’t let things go that bad for me tonight.

I got six hours of sleep last night, which is okay, but there was a full hour of being awake stuck into the middle of it all. That means I’m tired today. I’m feeling all the stress. Even the stress that I normally manage to keep at bay. It’s all hitting me right now and I haven’t even left the house yet. Shit.

I don’t have any 50/90 music ready to be worked on tonight. I can’t play guitar there, and everything that has guitar and needs vocals already has the vocal parts written. If I’m to get any work done it’s going to have to be new bass lines. Oh well.

I’m tired and I’m stressed and I just want to go to bed for 18 hours or so.

Lunch Break

I’m in the office today. I need to come in four times this month and today makes three. I have Thursday penciled in as the fourth visit.

Last time I came in everything on my desk had been moved around. I assume it was the cleaning staff. This time everything was where I left it. That’s nice to see. I told myself that I had to get a mouse pad before I came back and then completely forgot. The desk is arranged in such a way that there is a seam right where my mouse wants to be. It’s annoying. A mouse pad will fix it… if I can just not forget to grab a mouse pad. I ordered one on Amazon today. Read the first paragraph and then try to guess what day it’s scheduled for delivery… go on… guess. (Thursday)

I had no traffic this morning. Well, almost no traffic. There was a slow down at the junction between routes 93 and 128. Other than that, and one lady who was tailgating me at 70 miles per hour (asshole), the commute was easy as can be. Here’s hoping the same thing happens on the way home. Fingers crossed.

I didn’t forget my lunch today! Will wonders never cease? I did buy a bag of Peanut M&M’s from the vending machine though. Not my finest hour.

Last week my sister was unable to cover shifts at my parents house, so my brother and I just alternated days. There was a whole week where I slept at my house one day and at theirs the next. Today is the first day since that started that I won’t appear at the house in Tewksbury at all. I love my parents. I really do. I’m also very happy to have a day where I am not there. It’s such a stress relief. I’ll be there tomorrow night and all day Wednesday though, so let’s not get all kumbaya and shit.

This morning, before work, I looked at posts on this page made on July 26ths in past years. Last year there was a post talking about my progress in the 50/90 challenge. I had six songs finished and 17 songs in the pipeline. I am crushing that pace right now. Today I have 13 songs finished and 23 in the pipeline. Winning. I wonder how far along I was in 2014 (the other year I completed the full 50 songs)? Who cares.

This weekend is a Harry weekend. This is a good thing. That is a happy thing.

Okay, back to work.

More Memory Fun

On top of the stress of dealing with trying to navigate my mother through her constant aches and pains, which run the spectrum between “it’s annoying” and “oh my god I can’t stand it anymore please god help me”, there are fun little nuggets like this.

Me: Are you okay mum?
Her: Why do you call me mum?
Me: Because you’re my mother.
Her: No I’m not.
Me: Yes you are.
Her: Did I give birth to you?
Me: Yes, 50 years ago.
Her: I don’t remember that. I guess it’s true because you’re named after your father. (she walks into the living room) Are there any pictures of you in here?
Me: Yes. (points to a picture on the living room wall)
Her: Oh yeah, there you are.

Isn’t that fun? Aren’t you jealous? And by jealous I mean aren’t you happy that this isn’t happening to you? And when I say this isn’t happening to you I mean it from both her and my perspectives.

Memory

This morning my mother asked me how I was doing. I said I was really tired. She asked why. I said because I stayed up to make sure you got to sleep and you didn’t fall asleep until 2:00am. I barely got four hours of sleep.

She had no memory of it. She went to bed at 2:00 and got up and made breakfast at about 5:00. She had no idea. She’s already fallen asleep twice since then.

I don’t know how my father did this for the last 10 years. It’s frustrating and infuriating and she has no idea she’s doing it and how can you get mad over something that’s essentially unconscious? Ugh.

Still Awake

1:41am and she’s just getting into bed now.

I told her it was 1:30 and past her bed time. She said 8:00 is her bed time.

Yup. 5.5 hours ago.

She said I should turn off the TV and go to bed. Ya think? That’s when she realized she couldn’t find her TV remote and we spent 10 minutes looking for it.

I really need to scream, but if I do she’ll never go to sleep.

5090 Song Number 12/50

Dig it, a new song!

My mother is still awake. It’s 11:40. She’s not in agony anymore, but she’s still in pain. It’s been almost four hours since her 12 hour pain pill. Shit. I really wanna go to sleep.

…And We’re Back

Here we go again.

She was all right when I got here at 6:35. She was all right when she got her pain meds at 8:00pm. She was all right when I set the mouse traps at a little before 9:00pm.

At 9:10 she’s in agony.

Pretty much right on time.