Category: health

The Ravioli Incident

My mother made a bowl of ravioli for my father for dinner. He ate about half of it and then dropped the bowl. Ravioli everywhere. Some of it splashed onto his foot so we had to get him a change of socks. Mom grabbed him a pair while I cleaned up the mess. There was a moment there when I thought he was going to have a melt down. It was like all of the shit he’s been going through was about to overflow, but we talked him back from the edge.

Selfishly, the upside to the ravioli incident is that there is laundry that needs to be done tonight. He only has two pairs of grippy socks and one of them is covered with tomato sauce. That means I have to go back and forth to the laundry room in the cellar. The laundry room is really the only place in the house that I can do my walking in place “exercise” without feeling like I am going to collapse the entire house. That means there’s a good chance I am going to close all three AppleWatch Activity rings today. I’ve already got two of them closed. Nine more minutes of exercise and I finish them all.

I really want to go home. I really need this to end. I don’t want to have a nervous breakdown, even though for all I know it might be fun. I just don’t wanna.

The Weekend… Finally

It is Friday. I have logged out of work for the day. It’s finally the weekend. You’d think that would be good. It’s not. The stress is still through the roof. I have to come back here tomorrow evening. I don’t want to, but I have to.

My mother hung out in the living room with my father and the healthcare worker. No animosity like there was this morning. She was fine. Actually, she slept in the recliner quite a bit. My father slept in the hospital bed. Sometimes that leads to a difficult night, but not always. In fact, I think more often than not it’s not a big deal.

I really need all of this to be over. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but is it close or is it far away? It’s so hard to tell when you’re buried in the pitch dark.

A Literal Note to Self

We have had a home health professional in the house for three days now. When we first talked about bringing in help we discussed it with my parents. They were both on board. Given my mother’s memory issues, someone came up with the idea of having her write a letter to herself detailing how she felt about the situation at that time.

I had to use it today.

A literal note to herself.

It was rough. We were in one room and she was telling me how she wanted the woman out of the house and she didn’t like her and she liked the woman who was here yesterday and she wanted to know who allowed this to happen and can I call them and tell them not to come back. All through this, the woman who is helping us today, dare I say heroically helping us today, was in the next room hearing every word.

I had forgotten about the note to self but when I let my siblings know what was happening they reminded me. Mom wasn’t happy when she read it, but said she remembered writing the letter and she’s been okay ever since.

I made sure to tell the woman that she shouldn’t take anything my mother said personally, and that it was likely by the end of her shift my mother would be her best friend. That’s kinda how it goes. She was nothing but understanding and professional and I am so thankful for her attitude, not to mention her help.

Now though, my group at work is short handed this afternoon and I just had a task mailed to me. I’ll get on it.

Here’s hoping it will be a quiet afternoon in the house and at work. I need me some weekend.

Friday Morning

It’s Friday morning, everyone! You’ve almost made it to the weekend. Hang in there, it’s almost over.

Ready for your morning update to the saga of my personal pain?

Last night was okay. I don’t control the TV remote anymore so I stuck my AirPods Max with their transparency mode onto my noodle and surfed the web. I decided to watch The Orville. We had started it once before but only got a few episodes in. I’m going to give it another go. I also did some music and bitched about local news. Mom’s pain level was manageable. Dad was fine.

This morning though.

I woke up about 5:30. Dad was asleep but mom was up. She was in a lot of pain and she was very confused. She told me she was lost. She said she was in the new school and didn’t know her way around. She was opening doors and peering inside trying to figure out what was up. She asked me what each room was. She asked me if we were on the second floor. I kept telling her she was home and safe but it wasn’t getting through. Eventually she found her bedroom. She called it “a” bedroom, not “her” bedroom though. She sat on the bed for a little while and seemed to slowly come back to herself.

So that was fun, right?

Dad is still asleep, but mom is having breakfast. The complaining about pain and the feeling lost both seem to be gone. I’m pretty thankful for that.

I need to get my workspace ready for the work day, check on the doors, and try to sneak in the new episode of The Bad Batch. The home health folks aren’t coming until 9:00 so I had a little extra time to get ready. I had gotten into the habit of keeping all of my stuff on dad’s hospital bed in the living room but I can’t do that anymore. I think my CPAP machine and my laundry and stuff will go out to the car this morning so they won’t be in anyone’s way.

I have a really bad feeling about today. I shouldn’t but I do. I also had to switch some days around this month. My brother and sister and I all have stuff we need to do in our own lives outside of our parents’ lives so the calendar was monkeyed with. It works to my benefit later in the month, but in the immediate future I have some tough times. I will go home tonight around dinner time, but instead of having a day off before I come back, I come back tomorrow night at dinner. That’s still better than the 48 hour shift I have next week. That’s going to be a shit burger.

Okay. Let’s get this Friday rolling, shall we? Happy thoughts, everyone. Happy thoughts.

Song Number 16

Here’s another new song. This one is better than most if not all of the others. At least I think so right now. I’ll likely change my mind later.

Both of my parents are asleep. They both fell asleep with a TV on. Dad is in the living room. I need to sleep in the living room. I can’t find the remote. I think he might be laying on it. I can’t sleep with headphones on. Insert the sigh of frustration here. At least he got up and walked around on his own, including a trip to the bathroom. No assistance from me was needed at all. That is huge. Super huge. What a relief.

Granted, he fell asleep with the news on, and this network ran the same 30 minute news program at 9:00, 9:30, and 10:00. I think I am going to hear the same things maybe five times before the talk shows come on. Gross.

I’m Here

I’m here at my parents house again. Mom is here. Dad is here. I am here. Everything has been okay since dad came home on Tuesday, but I’m sitting here patiently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or, I’m waiting for the hammer to fall. However you want to put it.

HBO Max has released The Suicide Squad today. Tonight, actually. I think they brought it live at 7:00pm. The reviews are good. The first movie was… eh. Nothing special. This one was made by the same guy who made Guardians of the Galaxy so maybe some of the magic will rub off?

18 minutes until meds distribution.

Jen and Harry are out college supply shopping. Jen is worried about Covid. We’re all worried about Covid, but she and Harry are both vaccinated. Frankly, all the non-vaccinated people can suck it. Take the friggin’ vaccine, you selfish pricks.

What was I talking about?

Oh well, I think I’ll go make sure all of the door alarms are set and get them their pills. Dad needs a snack with his.

Right then, I’ll talk to you later. There might be a new song to share. We’ll see where the night leads us.

I miss Jen and Harry and Bellana and Patches and I want to go home.

Late Lunch

I’m down to the last few minutes of what became a late lunch. Exciting, huh?

Word from my parents house is that my father is doing fantastic. He’s getting up and down on his own and going for walks through the house just to get some practice in. At the risk of TMI… solo trips to the bathroom, god bless america! There’s a homecare worker at the house, and there will be every day, for at least part of the day, for the next couple of weeks. Word is my mother keeps asking her what time she’s leaving. Oh boy.

In the immortal words of The Facts of Life theme, you take the good – you take the bad. Know what I mean, jelly bean?

My brother, sister, and I got on the phone together and worked out the help schedule for the next few weeks. I am free on the days Bellana is coming home, and on the day Harry moves in to school. The price is a double shift next week. Two days in a row. I’ll be there from about 7:00pm on the 11th through 7:00pm on the 13th. It’s worth it to not miss time later in the month, but I am already shaking in fear a little bit.

On that note, back to work for me.

Exercise Fail

My plan to close all three rings on my AppleWatch Activity App died a quick and sudden (and more or less expected) death on day three. There just wasn’t time or space or mental stability enough to do any exercise at my parents house yesterday, and I doubt there ever will be. I could have done it all when I got home, but we can chalk that fail up to just the lack of mental stability. I just couldn’t handle anything beyond eating dinner and venting my misery to my beloved wife who was kind and supportive and wonderful to me all night.

I’m in the office today. The four times I came here in July all saw small spikes in the exercise ring. Apparently my walks to the kitchenette or the bathroom are enough to get my heart rate up high enough to trigger the app. Okay. I might be able to use that. So I won’t have a perfect month, or week, for August. Maybe I can still do something.

I’ll keep you updated because clearly you are all hanging on every exercise related word this particular lard ass spews out through his keyboard, right? Right.

Dad’s Home

My father is home. He is so much better than he was the last time he came home. A few minutes ago he just decided to get up and go for a walk. I couldn’t believe it. He doesn’t need help standing, but we need to be there. He needs a little help keeping steady, and the floor in the living room is kinda slippery so we want to be there in case he loses his footing.

But damn… so much better than the last time.

I’m still in a state of complete and total freak out, but I have personal experience to tell me that my freak out is less than rational. My eyes have seen the glory, if you dig. That pleases me.

I’m freaking Out

Dad is being discharged at 3:00. The home health aid is coming at 2:30. I am freaking out. Totally freaking out.

Shit has been going on all day at work. None of it is freak-out-worthy, but all of it is freaking me out. I tried to go to lunch at 1:00 but I had 45 minutes solid where I got call after call after call and couldn’t stop.

I am totally fucking freaking out.