Pillow Cat

Flipping the Bird at Obesity

The pre-fab kitchen furniture explosion started a little early.

Patches is annoyed that I’m still awake. She wants me to fall asleep so she can vomit all over the house without being disturbed.

I finished my 30 minutes of exercise at 11:44pm.

I really need to improve my time management skills.

When the clock struck 10:00 tonight I had completed exactly one minute.

Be better than that, Robert.

I really miss playing with the band. I want to play a Lizardfish gig right now. Right. Effing. Now.

She’s purring like crazy right now. She sounds like an Italian sports car or something.

We just saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the gang goes to Atlantic City.

Remember that time when Jen and I went to Atlantic City?

Patches says, “Barney Stinson is not a role model.”