I took the trash out this morning. When I opened the door I scared the shit out of two birds who were sitting on the steps.
I walked down the steps and across the driveway to get to the barrels and I scared the shit out of a rabbit that was hiding between the cars.
I didn’t see any squirrels when I got to the barrels but I flipped them off in general, purely out of spite.
Fuck you, squirrels.
Back inside, I changed the cat’s litter box. When I took that bag out to the trash I scared the shit out of a chipmunk that was sitting on the step.
I dropped the bag full of discarded litter box contents into the trash barrel. The same barrel that the squirrels gnawed their way into so they can eat everything.
Eat cat shit, squirrels.