Tag: weight loss

Banned Things

Over the last 5-6 months or so I have banned some things from my life. Well, banned or boycott. Whichever is more appropriate. How am I doing on these things?

The most recent ban started six days ago when I started working to remove carbonated beverages and caffeine from my diet. If I am going to go through with the weight loss surgery process, then these two items will be permanently removed from my diet forever and ever. Apparently they are both stomach irritants and when you surgically mangle the stomach the way I plan to, then irritants are really bad.

I first learned of this development on Thursday 2/3 and my first day without either of them was Friday 2/4. I’ve made it six days. So far so good, I guess, but it’s definitely not a second nature sort of thing yet. Not even close. My quarantine routine over the last 23-24 months has involved filling up a bottle of water before I go to bed (with grape flavoring, always). If I don’t finish the bottle then I finish it the next day, but not until sometime in the afternoon. I’d have soda, diet pepsi, in the morning and early afternoon. Caffeine and soda. Now I am just drinking water all the time so the night time water bottle carries into the morning. That probably sounds more complicated than it is, but the point here is that every morning I continue to leave the water bottle next to my bed as if I was going to have a morning soda. No. You’re not. Six days on and I still forget that I am not drinking soda anymore pretty much every morning. That needs to end.

So the dietary bans are still going well, though not quite a routine yet. What was the other ban? Facebook. August 27, 2021 was the day I sort of spur of the moment banned Facebook from my life. That was a little more then five months ago. It looks like five months is pretty much long enough to get to the point where I don’t even notice it anymore. It hasn’t been 100%, but I think I can count the number of times I’ve visited on one hand. FoMO brought me back to clear off some notifications once, and once I went on to just mention I wasn’t going on anymore. That was probably pointless. The last time was a couple of weeks ago when I found out one of my Aunts wasn’t well and I checked my cousins accounts to see if I could learn anything. I was only on for a few minutes but I’ll fess up and admit I was there.

Other than those few times I’ve been able to stay away. I don’t think about it anymore. In fact, I got a notifications email the other day for the Lizardfish group and I had to look at it twice to remember what it was talking about. Sometimes it needles me, like when a YouTube show or a podcast that I am a regular viewer/listener of makes a mention of their respective Facebook groups, of which I am a member, and I don’t know what’s going on. I feel out of the loop. FoMO starts creeping in, but I forget about it quickly enough.

So my personal cancel culture targets are still going strong. Facebook is a big nothing to me now. Caffeine and carbonated drinks are going to be tougher to deal with. I can do it though. Absolutely.

Bad Seal

I had a less than perfect sleep last night. My CPAP mask kept losing its seal. It would start leaking air on one side of my face so I’d wiggle it back into place, and then a leak would start on the other side. It was pissing me off as well as keeping me awake. Eventually I took it off and adjusted everything and put it back and it was okay. I think I’ll be using a new mask tonight, just out of spite.

One of the weight loss appointments I booked yesterday is over Zoom. I got the meeting invite this morning. Yet another baby step. Let’s all get together and change my life, okay? Change my mindset first, then change my internal structure. Welcome to a new me and all that stuff, right? New Year, new me… literally.

I wrote my first lyrics for this year’s RPM Challenge. Are you proud of me? I am. Writing lyrics sucks and I suck at it. What is the song about? I haven’t a clue. Maybe after I sing it a few times I’ll decide what it’s about. For now it’s just a bunch of words whose syllable count matches the bad melody I wrote.

Okay. It’s time for work. Let’s be productive and have a good day, okay? Ready? Go!

Conflicting Emotions

My next weight loss appointment is one week from today. I’m conflicted emotionally.

On the one hand I can’t wait to get over the next hurdle and be one step closer to the finish line.

On the other hand, I’m scared shitless. I’m going to be meeting with the doctor who is going to carve up my innards. I mean, it’s terrifying!

So far the drive to move forward is stronger than the fear. I need to keep it that way. For the rest of my life.

One week.

The Ball is Rolling Now for Sure

I just got off the phone with the clinic that will be handling my weight loss surgery. I booked four appointments for the next 4-5 weeks or so. I believe two of those will be recurring throughout the next few months. This is happening, at least it looks like it’s happening. Any one of these appointments could result in someone putting a stop to the process. Maybe if there’s something amiss with my guts, or if the mental health folks decide I’m nuts, or if the dietitian thinks I’m unworthy, or if the surgeon thinks I’m a yutz… anything could derail this, but for this particular moment in time, we’re on track.

My heart has been pounding ever since the phone started ringing.

Unrelated note, there seems to be an issue getting our new furnace inspected by the city. We thought it was all set, but they had to come and look again today, and they might have to come again later as well. Not sure what’s going on, but here’s hoping this gets wrapped up quick like.

One Day Down, or Something

It’s almost 10:30. It’s just about time to turn in for the night.

It looks like I have made it through a whole day without caffeine. I didn’t think it was possible but there you go.

The headache is still there but Tylenol helped. I’ve had a ton of water today and I burned through a lot of grape flavored mix stuff. I need to slow down on that, but probably not for a couple of days. I need all the help I can get. How long before a lifestyle change becomes a habit? Three days? 30 years?

Tomorrow Jen is going to rewire one of the light switches because she’s a fucking super hero. I’ll help, but she has more guts than I do. Also… guitar. That’s my hope at least. It should be fun.

Caffeine Free

I am going to start this today. Oh shit.

During my weight loss surgery appointment yesterday I was told that my future includes a permanent ban on both caffeine and carbonated drinks. People who know me know that caffeine and carbonation are literally two of my personal four food groups. The whole process is going to suck and be really difficult, but as of this moment I am thinking that caffeine and carbonation are going to be the biggest, most difficult change. I mean, we literally have four 12-packs of diet pepsi in the house at this moment.

I also had a pretty crappy night’s sleep last night and I am guessing ’round about 2:00pm I am going to be seriously wishing I could have some caffeine.

Nope.

This is what my future looks like.

Sick Time

Just thinking ahead on this whole redesigning my internal organs discussion. I asked what the recovery time would look like. They said they recommend you stay out of work for 3-4 weeks while you re-teach your newly remodeled stomach how to handle different types of food. As of right now I have enough sick time banked to be out for half day shy of five weeks. I’ll have to use some of that for the slew of appointments I need to make before the surgery, but I think I am in good shape. I have a ton of vacation time that needs to be used too. Maybe some of those appointments will use vacation time instead of sick time. Maybe.

We’re supposed to have a storm tonight. I keep trying to get a forecast that gives a snow estimate but they all just say a mix of snow and freezing rain. No accumulation estimates. I think that’s a good thing. Freezing rain blows chunks but it’s better than snow, at least as far as shoveling the driveway and plowing the streets are concerned. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Have I mentioned Weather Kitty yet? It’s a weather app for iOS (I don’t know about other platforms, mostly because I don’t use them so I don’t care). It combines weather forecasts with adorable kitties. If that’s your thing, you should check it out.

So… no more caffeine and no more carbonated drinks. I had a diet pepsi before the appointment. I’ve had one since. I’m not going to say that those are the last two sodas I’ll have in my life. I am not even going to say they are the last two sodas I’ll have before the surgery… but they could be. It’s possible. Don’t hold your breath or anything, but it is possible.

This is going to be difficult. It’s also going to be worth it, but it is going to be difficult.

Zoom Number One Complete

My initial consultation is complete and I didn’t spontaneously combust or have a sudden stroke or anything like that. I survived the Zoom call. Sigh of relief, babie.

Three to six months of pre-surgery prep work including 10,000 separate appointments. Then 3-4 weeks out of work afterwards. If we follow that schedule (in other words, if I don’t fuck anything up) then I should be okay for the planned Disney trip in January.

Wait, did I ever mention the planned January Disney trip? It’s mostly hypothetical at this point, thanks to the pandemic, but it has been one of my main concerns about all of this. Yeah there is the physical concerns about having my innards rewired, and there are the concerns about all of the things I will have to change in order to not mess up my rewired stomach (no more caffeine, no more carbonation), but I really didn’t want to mess up the Disney plans after we’ve already had to punt on them a couple of times, thanks Covid.

My medical chart is being put together now. Once that’s set I’ll hear from the clinic to start scheduling the 100,000 next appointments.

I’m not freaking out. I am not freaking out. I am still scared shitless, but I do feel all right over all.

Let’s do this.

A Little Over an Hour to Go

My Zoom meeting with the weight loss surgery folks starts at 10:00. It’s 8:47. Yeah, I am starting to feel nervous. I have some chores to do to distract myself so hopefully it won’t get too bad.

I did what all nerdy programmer/analysts do when confronted with a problem. I started collecting data and putting it onto a spreadsheet. I know how much I weighed when I went to the clinic for the check in two weeks ago. I weighed myself again today. I’m down two pounds, which is nice. Two down and 600 or so to go. So maybe it’s not so nice. I don’t know, I am trying to keep my brain from spiraling out into horror movie fantasy land. It’s not easy for a guy like me to do that. It’s not unusual for my imagination to start driving the bus, if you know what I mean. Also, I have seen a lot of horror movies. The one movie that sparked my love of scary movies involved a surgeon. Let’s just leave it at that.

70 minutes to go. I think I’ll take out the trash and make the bed and see if I can upgrade the camera on the Mac.

69 minutes to go……

It Hits the Fan Tomorrow

I haven’t started freaking out yet, but I expect I will shortly. Or maybe not. I don’t know.

My for really reals first weight loss surgery appointment is tomorrow morning. I took the first half of the day off so that I can freak out, go to the Zoom meeting, and then cry and freak out again. Like, my whole morning is scheduled.

Then again, maybe the fact that I haven’t freaked out yet is a sign that I am for really reals ready to do this. It’s going to suck, and it’s going to suck for months and months, but as far as my health is concerned it’s the right thing to do, right? Right.

I don’t know what to expect. It’s safe to assume I will have a million questions and when the Doc asks me if I have any questions I will completely blank out and not be able to think of anything. Safe bet that prediction is going to come true. We’ll see tomorrow though.