Tag: weight loss surgery appointment

Hoping for a Quiet Day

Yesterday’s doctor’s appointment was a touch on the anti-climactic side. We just went over the surgery again, including all of the horrible complications that will not happen but could. After that I just signed a consent form and said see ya on the fourth.

By the time I got home the dry wall was done. The plan for today is to prep for the painting stage and start priming. The contractor is hoping to finish the painting and start the floor on Friday. Oh how lovely that would be.

The Marvel rewatch is continuing. I’m hoping to finish Guardians one before work today. I should have about 15 minutes to spare. Sweet.

As for Tuesday April 12, here’s hoping for a nice quiet day at work. I’m not holding my breath though.

Doctor’s Appointment Day

When I met with the psychologist he told me that I would know I’m coming to the end of things when they book a second meeting with the surgeon. This afternoon I have my second meeting with the surgeon. I thought I would book a surgery date after this, but I already have a date so there’s no mystery left.

Well… I don’t exactly know what we’re going to discuss today. I can speculate, but why bother. I know I am still not at my pre-surgery goal weight, but I still have a couple of weeks to go.

The main difference between today and all of the other appointments is that I am not even a little bit nervous. Likely that will change as the time gets closer. We’ll have to see.

I’ll let you all (and by you all I mostly mean my future self as I look through all of this stuff years from now) know how it goes.

Shit is About to Get Real

I just had my Zoom call with the dietician. Woah boy, here it comes.

Insurance requires me to have sign off from a psychologist, a cardiologist, and a dietician. I already had psych and cardiology. The psychologist* told me that I would know things are close when they scheduled a second meeting with the surgeon.

The call I had today said the next step is a second meeting with the surgeon.

I have the dietician’s sign off.

Holy shit. This thing could actually be happening. Still zero clue on a timeline, but the thing I was told would be the sign that surgery is imminent is the next thing I have to do.

In the immortal words of the guy from Quantum Leap:

Woah boy.

*Should I be capitalizing the names of the departments? Should I be capitalizing psychologist when I am referring to a specific psychologist without using his/her/their name? Grammar is a bitch, you know?

Here Comes the Irrational Fear Again

It’s time again. Time to feel afraid of a doctors appointment that I am choosing to go to rather than being asked to go to. Time to feel afraid of myself more than anything else. I have another weight loss surgery appointment. The second meeting with a dietician. Not the same dietician, she had to call out of the office today, but my second dietician appointment over all.

I am choosing to do this even though I am scared shitless. I’m much less afraid of things now than I was two months ago, but I’m still scared. I am also still more afraid of not doing it than doing it, hence I’m still doing it. Get it?

Today was supposed to be a mid-morning Zoom call, now it’s an early morning phone call. It doesn’t matter. Either way, I want to do this… I need to do this… I cannot not do this… yet I am still afraid. I guess the difference now compared to two months ago is that then I was afraid of the surgery. Now I am strangely afraid of the surgery and equally afraid of being told I don’t qualify for the surgery. How screwed up is that, emotionally speaking?

Wish me luck.

Oh yeah, and the title of this post is totally going to be the title of my next album.

Ramping Up the Irrational Fear

My first Psych appointment is one hour and 39 minutes from now. Let’s bring on the irrational fear, shall we? I am super nervous but I cannot say what I am nervous about. What the hell are we going to talk about? Is there something wrong with my brain that will stop me from having the surgery? Is there something wrong with my brain that if I do go through with the surgery will stop me from being able to handle the post-surgery routine?

Am I just crazy?

One hour and 36 minutes until we find out.

Still All Right

It’s almost midnight. I’m still up. I’ve been thinking about tomorrow’s appointment. I’m still not freaking out. Will I tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows.

Maybe I’m okay with this? It’s a Zoom appointment so it’s not a Covid risk. Maybe that’s why I’m sort of relaxed. Who knows.

Patches is hanging out with me right now. Maybe that’s why I’m okay. Who knows.

Nerves

Am I starting to feel nervous? My first weight loss surgery appointment is Thursday morning. I can’t tell if I am actually nervous or not. I’ve been in a weird state of mind all day. Like… an odd bundle of energy that feels just sort of… off.

Tonight we were going to have spaghetti and red sauce for dinner. Turns out we didn’t have any sauce. Jen and I both thought we had a jar but we don’t. I was pretty sad. Like, damn dude, I was in the mood for some s’ghettie. Then Jen said that we should just say screw it and go to Five Guys and I was like, Kick Ass! Five Guys! Best French Fries Ever!

So I guess I am just in a weird, confused, you’re about to be scared shitless again, mood swinging state of mind.

Crud.

Thursday. Thursday morning, to be exact. I can do this. I can do this.

Can I do this?

Crud.