I don’t want to write this post. I am too sad. Too hockey sad, to be specific.
Usually when I do these playoff prediction things I end being right a little bit more than 50% of the time. Not this year. This year I am sub 50% and it hurts. Oh well. What’s a Bruins fan to do?
After three rounds I had predicted the winner of seven out of 14 series. Exactly 50%. My coin flip control group/comparison was not so lucky. The coin was right on five out of 14 series. That just proved that blind guesses have miserable luck… or something along those lines.
In the Stanley Cup Final between the Panthers and the Oilers, the coin and I both picked the Oilers and we were both wrong, damn it. So my final success rate for the entire playoff season is 7/15, or about 46.7%. Awful. Miserable. The coin flip’s final success rate for the entire playoff season is 5/15, or 33%. Even more awful. Even more miserable.
Boo, I say. Boo. I just had a really bad postseason. Honestly, any postseason that doesn’t end with a big victory parade in Boston is a bad postseason, but some are more pathetic than others, you know what I mean?
The Red Sox play the Blue Jays tonight. My sports fan energy is 100% focused on baseball now. Go Red Sox.
The Oilers lost the first three games of the Stanley Cup Final series to the Panthers, virtually guaranteeing the Cup will go to Florida.
Then in game four, the Oilers won in a blow out. Tonight, in game five, the Oilers are up 4-2 after two periods.
If you were wondering what the hockey equivalent of a dick tease felt like, then know that this is it.
Even if the Oilers win tonight, there is still virtually no chance of them coming all the way back to win the Stanley Cup. They are just trying to give me a little hope so that Florida can crush my dreams the way they did when the eliminated my Bruins, both this year’s playoffs and last year’s playoffs.
Sure, I am happy the Oilers are winning in game five. It’s just going to make it more painful when they eventually lose.
In other news, the Red Sox beat Toronto again tonight. That’s four wins in a row for my home town team. I’ll take that.
I can’t remember a time when I was this blah for the last two rounds of the NHL playoffs. Blah, I say!
The Conference Finals are over. It is time to review how my predictions did in round three, and to make my pick for the Stanley Cup Final. Over the first two rounds I had correctly chosen the winner in six of 12 series. 6/12 is terrible, but it is WAY better than my coin flip control group which has been correct in three out of 12 series. That is just pathetic.
So how did we do with the two series in round three?
Rangers vs Panthers. You know, this is what happens when you live in Boston and put your faith in a friggin’ team from friggin’ New York. Of course the Rangers lost. Assholes. You guys suck. That sound you hear off in the distance is me screaming in hockey related frustration. I hate the Florida Panthers so much that I cannot accurately put it into words. I hate them so much that I was rooting for New York. Argh! I picked the Rangers and was wrong. That puts me at 6/13. The coin, the prick, picked the Panthers. It is now 4/13.
Stars vs Oilers. I feel a little better about this one. I am ambivalent about the Stars and I kinda find the Oilers enjoyable. That’s why I picked the Oilers. The coin flip picked Edmonton too. That puts me back at 50% at 7/14, and moves the coin to 5/14.
I guess that means that now it’s time to make my pick for the final.
Panthers vs Oilers. As I previously stated, I hate the Panthers with the burning passion of 1000000000 suns, and I kinda like the Oilers. I am making this pick with my heart and not my head and I’m picking the Oilers. Let’s bring that Stanley Cup back to Canada, shall we? For the coin flip, heads goes to the higher seed, which is Florida. The coin flip is tails. That means the coin and I both picked Edmonton.
You heard it here first, kids. The Oilers are going to win the cup this year. Pretty please, at least. We have a long wait for game one, as the series doesn’t start until Saturday. Five days from now. Hey NHL… WTF is up with that? What is this, the NBA? Damn it!
The Bruins are up 3-0 after two periods in Toronto. I’ve only managed to watch a few minutes of the game, but I saw the first goal.
It’s game four of the first round best of seven series. The Bruins lead the series two games to one. It sure would be nice to hold on to this lead and then wrap up the series at home on Tuesday.
Wait, Tuesday? Yes, there is a second two day break between games. A second consecutive two day break. Ugh.
The Leafs came back to take game two of the best of seven first round series. If Swayman plays goal in game three and wins, will we have a full blown goalie controversy? We’ll see. Game three is Wednesday (I think… isn’t it?)
Anyway, let’s chase those hockey blues away by listening to a newly mixed crappy song. Quarantine Tunes Volume Seven is done save for figuring out the actual running order for the 11 songs. More on that to come in the future though. For now, here’s the last song.
I watched most of the first period and then just followed the score on my phone until I fell asleep during the third. The Bruins took game one from the Maple Leafs by a score of 5-1.
The first round of the NHL Playoffs start tomorrow. It’s time for my pointless, stupid predictions post. As is generally the case with pro sports these days, I have not been following the league as a whole that much, just my home town team. That means most of these predictions are very close to blind guesses on my part. Therefore I will also include a flip of a coin prediction and when it’s all over we’ll see if I was better at picking winners than randomness.
Are we ready?
As always, we will start with the Eastern Conference.
Panthers vs Lightning. The battle of Florida… in hockey… ugh. Nothing like cold weather spots in Florida. The Panthers had the better regular season, but I am optimistic that their luck is running out. I am going to pick Tampa Bay. It will probably go seven games, but the Lightning will come out on top. I promise this pick has nothing to do with the Panthers bouncing my Boston Bruins in the first round last year. Really. It has nothing to do with that. Now, which team does the coin pick? The rules are the higher seed (Florida in this case) is heads and the lower seed (Tampa Bay) is tails. It’s tails. The coin picks Tampa Bay.
Bruins vs Maple Leafs. I live in Boston. I root for Boston teams. There is no way I am picking against my Bruins. That’s a given. Beyond that, the Leafs have a killer offense, but it will not be a match for the Bruins defense and goalies. Sorry, Leafs fans. It’s going to be yet another in a long line of Boston wins over Toronto. Nothing personal, friends. The Bruins will just have your number again. The coin flip is heads so the coin picks the Bruins too.
The Rangers vs the Capitals. I hate both of these teams. I hate the Rangers more. That’s not why I am picking the Capitals this time though. The Capitals have been playing playoff intensity games for a while now. The Rangers breezed into the playoffs. The Capitals fought their way in. I think the momentum will carry the Caps through the first round. Probably not too far beyond that, but I’m looking for a serious upset here. The coin flip is tails so it also picked the Capitals. I see a pattern developing here.
Whalers vs Islanders. Okay, Robert. Stop calling the Carolina Hurricanes the Whalers. It’s not funny anymore. Then again… both of these teams were the parent club of the AHL team I used to have season tickets for. The Lowell Lock Monsters. Both teams pulled out on us and left my minor league team hanging. Due to that I can honestly say I friggin’ hate both of these teams. I want to pick the Islanders here, but they are from New York and I can’t pick a New York team without feeling gross about it. I’m considering it… but I think I am picking the Whale this time, even if it is painful to do so. The coin flip picks the Islanders though. Finally it picks the team I didn’t pick.
On to the Western Conference…
Stars vs Golden Knights. I don’t know. I really don’t. I want to pick Vegas but… no, I am going to pick Dallas. I could go either way with this one, but let’s officially pick The Stars. The coin flip picks Vegas.
Jets vs Avalanche. Again, I could go either way with this series. My gut is telling me to pick the Avs for the upset, but I don’t think I can bring myself to do it. I am going to pick The Jets and I will probably kick myself for doing so. The coin is tails again so it picks Colorado. That coin sure does love the underdogs, right?
Canucks vs Predators. Okay, I am going to pick an underdog this time. Nashville will take this one in an upset. As silly as it is to have an NHL team in Tennessee, I foresee a Vancouver choke coming. The coin flip agrees with me as it comes up tails for the fifth flip in a row.
Oilers vs Kings. Last but not least. I have always like The Kings. I haven’t always liked the Oilers as they beat my Bruins in the Cup Finals in both 1988 and 1990. Eventually something happened (I don’t know what) and I started to like them too. I am going to pick The Oilers this year. Sorry, Los Angeles. Edmonton is going to beat you. Nothing personal, it’s just business. Hockey business. The coin flip finally comes up heads so the coin picks Edmonton too.
There you have it, folks. My stupid, pointless, blind, uninformed predictions for the first round of the NHL Playoffs. It’s Stanley Cup tournament time. The best post season in all of professional sports. The games start tomorrow. The Bruins take on The Maple Leafs tomorrow at 8:00pm Eastern Daylight Savings Time.
Inside the Red Head's Head 