This sucks, man. My team lost and New York’s team won? Talk about a crap fest.
My predictions in the first round were not very good. I picked four series correctly out of eight. The coin flips I used for a control group (or something) picked three out of eight.
How did I do in the second round? Not very good.
Panthers vs Bruins. The coin and I both picked the Bruins. This sucks. I am now 4/9 and the coin is 3/9. Screw you, Panthers.
Rangers vs Whalers. I picked the Rangers, even though it hurts my soul to pick any team from New York, and the coin picked the Whale. The Rangers won. I am now 5/10 and the coin is 3/10.
On to the West…
Stars vs Avalanche. The coin and I both picked the Avalanche and they lost. The Stars moved on and the Avs made me look bad. I am now 5/11 and the coin is a dismal 3/11.
Canucks vs Oilers. The Bruins are out. The Avalanche is out. There’s only one team left that I would actually want to root for. It’s the Oilers. I picked them to win and the coin picked Vancouver. Who won? The Oilers won. Oh thank goodness. I am back up to 50% at 6/12 and the coin is completely shut out in this round and is now at 3/12.
Now let’s move on to the Conference Final round. Round three.
Rangers vs Panthers. Oh good, the team that beat my team for the second year in a row against a team that I absolutely hate. Yippee. I want them both to lose. I am going to pick the Rangers but not because I plan to root for them. In this series I am rooting for the Zambonis. For the coin flip, heads goes to the higher seed and tails goes to the lower. It is tails. The coin picks the friggin’ Panthers.
Stars vs Oilers. At this point I think the Rangers are going to win the cup, but the Oilers are the only team left that I actually like so I am picking them. That’s me going with my heart instead of my head. The coin picks the Oilers too, which guarantees they will lose?
So I am predicting a Rangers vs Oilers matchup in the Stanley Cup Final. You heard it here first.
I owe the universe two blog posts tomorrow. This is just a reminder to myself to not forget about them.
First, I didn’t write a happy two year gastric bypass surgery anniversary post. I mentioned it, but didn’t write anything about how I weighed in and was down a whopping 0.4 pounds over the last month. I will write something about that tomorrow.
Second, I have to write the next NHL Playoffs Predictions post. I knew the last game of the first round was tonight and I was waiting for that to wrap up, but I didn’t realize that the first game in the second round was also played tonight. I am technically both on time and late. That’s like some Schrödinger’s level shit right there.
So we all have that to look forward to tomorrow. I betcha all can’t wait! Also, game one of the second round series between the Bruins and the Panthers is tomorrow night. Revenge? We’ll see, Bruins fans. We’ll see.
The first round of the NHL Playoffs start tomorrow. It’s time for my pointless, stupid predictions post. As is generally the case with pro sports these days, I have not been following the league as a whole that much, just my home town team. That means most of these predictions are very close to blind guesses on my part. Therefore I will also include a flip of a coin prediction and when it’s all over we’ll see if I was better at picking winners than randomness.
Are we ready?
As always, we will start with the Eastern Conference.
Panthers vs Lightning. The battle of Florida… in hockey… ugh. Nothing like cold weather spots in Florida. The Panthers had the better regular season, but I am optimistic that their luck is running out. I am going to pick Tampa Bay. It will probably go seven games, but the Lightning will come out on top. I promise this pick has nothing to do with the Panthers bouncing my Boston Bruins in the first round last year. Really. It has nothing to do with that. Now, which team does the coin pick? The rules are the higher seed (Florida in this case) is heads and the lower seed (Tampa Bay) is tails. It’s tails. The coin picks Tampa Bay.
Bruins vs Maple Leafs. I live in Boston. I root for Boston teams. There is no way I am picking against my Bruins. That’s a given. Beyond that, the Leafs have a killer offense, but it will not be a match for the Bruins defense and goalies. Sorry, Leafs fans. It’s going to be yet another in a long line of Boston wins over Toronto. Nothing personal, friends. The Bruins will just have your number again. The coin flip is heads so the coin picks the Bruins too.
The Rangers vs the Capitals. I hate both of these teams. I hate the Rangers more. That’s not why I am picking the Capitals this time though. The Capitals have been playing playoff intensity games for a while now. The Rangers breezed into the playoffs. The Capitals fought their way in. I think the momentum will carry the Caps through the first round. Probably not too far beyond that, but I’m looking for a serious upset here. The coin flip is tails so it also picked the Capitals. I see a pattern developing here.
Whalers vs Islanders. Okay, Robert. Stop calling the Carolina Hurricanes the Whalers. It’s not funny anymore. Then again… both of these teams were the parent club of the AHL team I used to have season tickets for. The Lowell Lock Monsters. Both teams pulled out on us and left my minor league team hanging. Due to that I can honestly say I friggin’ hate both of these teams. I want to pick the Islanders here, but they are from New York and I can’t pick a New York team without feeling gross about it. I’m considering it… but I think I am picking the Whale this time, even if it is painful to do so. The coin flip picks the Islanders though. Finally it picks the team I didn’t pick.
On to the Western Conference…
Stars vs Golden Knights. I don’t know. I really don’t. I want to pick Vegas but… no, I am going to pick Dallas. I could go either way with this one, but let’s officially pick The Stars. The coin flip picks Vegas.
Jets vs Avalanche. Again, I could go either way with this series. My gut is telling me to pick the Avs for the upset, but I don’t think I can bring myself to do it. I am going to pick The Jets and I will probably kick myself for doing so. The coin is tails again so it picks Colorado. That coin sure does love the underdogs, right?
Canucks vs Predators. Okay, I am going to pick an underdog this time. Nashville will take this one in an upset. As silly as it is to have an NHL team in Tennessee, I foresee a Vancouver choke coming. The coin flip agrees with me as it comes up tails for the fifth flip in a row.
Oilers vs Kings. Last but not least. I have always like The Kings. I haven’t always liked the Oilers as they beat my Bruins in the Cup Finals in both 1988 and 1990. Eventually something happened (I don’t know what) and I started to like them too. I am going to pick The Oilers this year. Sorry, Los Angeles. Edmonton is going to beat you. Nothing personal, it’s just business. Hockey business. The coin flip finally comes up heads so the coin picks Edmonton too.
There you have it, folks. My stupid, pointless, blind, uninformed predictions for the first round of the NHL Playoffs. It’s Stanley Cup tournament time. The best post season in all of professional sports. The games start tomorrow. The Bruins take on The Maple Leafs tomorrow at 8:00pm Eastern Daylight Savings Time.
The Eastern Conference Finals started last night so I am a day late. Don’t worry, the game one results won’t change my prediction.
My first round predictions were good. I picked 6/8 series correctly. My coin flip was less good. It picked 3/8 series correctly.
My second round pics were horrible. Let’s review.
Maple Leafs vs Panthers. Fuck you, Leafs. I am 6/9 now. The coin picked Florida because it’s an asshole. The coin is now 4/9.
Whalers vs Devils. I picked the Devils and they lost because they hate me. I am now 6/10. The coin picked the Whale. Asshole. The coin is 5/10.
Stars vs Kraken. I picked the Kraken even though I knew they were going to lose, and they did. I am 6/11. The coin also picked the Kraken. It is 5/11.
Golden Knights vs Oilers. The coin and I both picked Edmonton and we were both wrong. I am now 6/12 and the coin is 5/12.
Well, after getting all four series wrong in the second round and having my Western Conference pick (Edmonton) get bounced the way my overall pick (Boston) was bounced in the first round… at least I am still doing better than the coin flip.
This is the least interesting conference finals in my lifetime. I honestly don’t give a shit about any of these teams and I flat out fucking loathe both Eastern Conference teams. I would say the only team I have even the slightest interest in rooting for is Vegas and that’s just barely.
Okay, let’s set down the official picks for the third round.
Eastern Conference, Whalers vs Panthers: I absolutely hate both of these teams. I don’t give a flying fuck which one wins. If I have to pick one though, I would pick the Whale, which guarantees they will lose. The coin flip (heads for higher seed, tails for lower) picks the Whalers as well.
Western Conference, Golden Knights vs Stars: I am not a Dallas fan in the slightest. I recall once rooting for Vegas for about five minutes so I guess I am picking Vegas in the interest of having something worth rooting for even though I could give a flying leap. The coin is a dick (as previously mentioned) and it picked Dallas.
So there you go. I am at 50% over all, six correct picks in 12 series, and the coin is a smidge under 50%, five correct picks in 12 series, and my Stanley Cup Final match up pick is the Carolina Hartford Whalers vs the Vegas Golden Knights. Big fucking deal. Boring.
Bruins vs Panthers: Fuck you. I’m 0/1 and so is the coin flip.
Maple Leafs vs Lightning: I picked the Leafs so I am 1/2. The coin flip (aka Siri) picked the Lightning so it’s 0/2.
Whalers vs Islanders: I picked the Whale even though it hurt my soul. I am 2/3. The coin flip picked New York because it has no soul and is now 0/3.
Devils vs Rangers: The coin and I both picked The Devils. I am 3/4 and it is 1/4. I mean… at least both New York teams lost. We’ve got that to be happy about, right?
On to the West!
Avalanche vs Kraken: I picked Seattle because I thought it would be funny to pick a zero chance underdog. I was right. I am 4/5. The coin picked Colorado and is 1/5.
Stars vs Wild: The coin and I both picked the Twinkies and we were both wrong. I am 4/6 and the coin is 1/6.
Golden Knights vs Jets: The coin and I both picked Vegas and we were both right. I am 5/7 and the coin is 2/7.
Oilers vs Kings: The coin and I both picked Edmonton and we were both right. I am 6/8 and the coin is 3/8.
Are you fucking kidding me? I only missed two series and one of them was Boston’s choking on their own ass? Screw you, universe! My winning percentage is 75%. The coin flip is at 37.5%.
Who really gives a shit about the second round at this point? Aw, fuck.
In the East…
Maple Leafs vs Panthers: Fuck you. I hate the Leafs but I am picking them because fuck Florida. Fuck them right in their fucking ears. The coin picks Florida because it has no soul. Remember, the coin flip is me asking Siri to flip a coin and heads means the higher seed while tails is the lower seed. This time it was tails.
Whalers vs Devils: Go Devils. Even though I am still pissed that you moved your AHL team out of Lowell. The coin picks the Whalers because it has no soul.
On to the West…
Stars vs Kraken: Okay, Dallas should own this but I’m sticking with Seattle. The coin agrees.
Golden Knights vs Oilers: I would have preferred this matchup in the third round but what can you do. I am picking Edmonton because I want to see an Oilers vs Kraken match up next round. The coin also picks the Oilers.
And there you have it. Traditionally my picks are awesome in the first round (fuck you, Bruins) and awful awful awful in the second round so take this at your own risk, m’kay?
I am so pissed off at the Bruins that I may never watch a single game for the rest of the year. This sucks.
The American League Division series is done. I’m not doing very well with the whole picking winners thing.
Not only have I yet to get a series right, but by my calculations there have been 12 post season games and the teams I’ve picked have one exactly one game. Thanks, Cardinals.
Inside the Red Head's Head 