There are a few potential responses to this one, but if I had to narrow down to just one thing I want my cats to understand it would be this:
Just because you can see the bottom of the food bowl, it doesn’t mean that you are about to starve to death. There’s enough food in there to keep you alive for a while, and I will top off the bowl soon enough. Calm down.
Now having said that, Robin Sparkles has an interesting response to the food bowl getting low. She gets extra super friendly. Where she normally barely acknowledges my existence, when the bowl is even slightly less than full she comes to me practically begging for attention. She rubs up against my feet when I am walking by, she head butts me when I am sitting down, she meows at me, the whole works. All the things that cats do to remind you that they are there and to trick you into thinking that they love you. All of it. It’s not enough to make me purposefully let their food get low… but it’s a close call sometimes.
A couple of honorable mentions include the following:
Yes, cats. I am aware of the state of your litter box. I am always aware of the state of your litter box. Relax.
No, cats. You are not allowed in the cellar. Not since Lilly tried to claw her way through the central air duct or when she tried to climb over the top of the ceiling to get behind the wall board where she would get stuck and I would never, ever be able to find her or rescue her. Get out of the damn cellar, both of you.
This last one is going to come up tomorrow, and then again on Thursday. Yes, cats. We have to put you into the cat carrier in order to take you to the vet. It is not punishment or torture and I am not some kind of nazi death camp guard. Stop making me feel like one. It will all be over soon enough. Just be patient and accept my apology. Good kitty.
Inside the Red Head's Head 