Two Firsts

Isn’t it a lovely morning? Doesn’t the sky look a little brighter? Doesn’t the air feel a little fresher? Doesn’t the grass look a little greener? If I didn’t know better I would say the Red Sox eliminated the Yankees from the post season or something. If I didn’t know better, of course.

Two weird things happened to me just now.

Tuesday is trash pick up day in our neighborhood. Today is Wednesday. I should have taken the barrels in from the street yesterday, but I didn’t so I took them in this morning. We had a shit load of trash go out this week so there were four barrels. Two of them have their covers attached and two of them don’t. The attached guys are much bigger than the others so I figured I would grab those two first and walk them back to the side of the house where we store them.

One of the lids was closed. The other was open. When I went to flip it closed I noticed we had a stow away. There was a chipmunk in the barrel. The barrel was otherwise empty, but he was just hanging out. I figured I’d be nice and not give the little bastard a heart attack by carrying him away and I tipped the barrel onto it’s side. Run away, Chip or Dale, be free! He didn’t run away. He just sat there. What the hell, rodent? Get out of my damn barrel. I then started to tip the barrel upside down and that did it. He dashed out at full speed. So long, friend. I hope you don’t get hit by a car or anything.

So the two big barrels are now properly stowed away and I went back to the street to get the smaller barrels. I put the cover onto one and was reaching down to the ground (given my girth, that must be pretty funny to watch) to pick up the second cover and right where my hand was about to grab I see fur. It was a mouse. A little grey looking mouse, snuggled against the cover. He probably saw me coming and tried to hide under it, but I bumped it a little and he was exposed. Poor little guy. He was clearly scared shitless and didn’t know what to do. He started to go for the cover again, but I kicked it out of the way. The last thing I want is to actually reach down to get the cover and have mickey freak out and bite me and give me rabbis that turn me into some kind of Cujo. You know how it is, I’m sure. Mighty mouse, in his fear started burrowing. I reached down for the cover and startled him again so he ran a little ways away and started burrowing again.

Two trash barrel related rodent incidents within seconds of each other. I have never had either of those things happen to me before. What is going on with the universe? Is this the start of some weird, lame, doomed to fail, rodent uprising? Were they just Yankees fans who tried to drink their misery away and were too hung over this morning to run away when the gigantic human came stomping around?

We may never know the truth. At least there weren’t any squirrels. I’ve seen Rick and Morty. I know better than to mess with squirrels*.

*From Morty’s Mind Blowers:


My mother was asleep by 9:00 tonight. Thank goodness. There was no pain outbreak. Now we just have to hope she sleeps through the night.

One of the mouse traps was tripped about an hour ago. Nothing in it. There is still at least one Mickey among us. Great. I paid for a single but I guess I have a roommate.

I’m going to sleep. Fingers crossed I can get 6-7 hours of good sleep. Yippee.

Meeces to Pieces

I know a lot of people will be offended by this one. I apologize. I mean no offense, but I am also not sorry so… sorry.

Look back two posts ago. See that picture? Can you guess where this one is going?

My mother saw a furry little rodent critter today. It came out from under her dresser, ran a while along the length of it, and then ducked under again. My brother asked me to pick up some traps on the way over.

As mentioned in the previous post, the secret is peanut butter. I set one up and slid it onto a spatula and gently placed it under the hospital bed in the living room. No problem. Then I went to setup a second trap and it went off on me three friggin’ times before I could get it onto the spatula, then it went off again when I gently placed it on the floor behind the comfy chair. One more try and I finally got it down. Then I baited a third trap and put it under my mother’s dresser, near where she saw one earlier.

I think that was at about 8:45 or so. Maybe a little earlier, but about then. The trap under the comfy chair went off at 9:30. I figured it was just touchy because that was the bastard that gave me all the trouble.


Rest in peace, you little home invading rodent fucker. Meeces to Pieces, indeed.